Mimii

Don't know if I'm asexual or just awkward

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Mimii

Hi. I'm a 16 year old girl. I've had crushes on boys my whole life, this meaning I think they are cute, I like looking at them, I get nervous if I'm close to them and I want them to return my feelings. Lately I've been kinda feeling this way towards girls too. The thing is, if they liked me back, I don't know what I'd do about it. I've never felt the urge to kiss anyone, much less get sexual with them, even if I found them attractive. 

I do watch porn and masturbate, but when I do I'm strictly thinking about other people doing it, I never imagine it's me. I get turned on imagining other people having sex, but me in any kind of sexual situation kind of sends me into panic.

I also get extremely uncomfortable when my friends or other people my age talk about their experiences, to the point where I get nauseous. 

I'm generally not too happy with the way I look and with my lack of experience considering my age, so I always imagine how terribly it would go and how embarrassing it would be if I ever kissed anyone. 

Up until a few weeks ago, I always thought I felt this way because I was too young and that something would happen eventually but... I'm already 16.

In summary, I'm just really confused and I constantly feel like I'm missing something that everyone else gets to enjoy.

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Claire1983

If you don't feel any sort of sexual draw to people then there's a good chance you could be asexual.  You can check out the info posts pinned to the top for some more detailed descriptions.  There are asexuals who have a libido and masturbate.  It's very common for them to fantasize in a sort of detached 3rd person kind of way.  Thinking about others, but not putting themselves in that situation.  

 

As to your age, don't worry too much about what you have or haven't done by a certain point.  Things happen for people in their own time.  It might happen down the road.  If you are asexual you can still have a relationship and date.  Asexual doesn't automatically mean Aromantic.  You can have romantic feelings and find people attractive without feeling sexually attracted to them.  I know it can feel like you're missing out on something, but ask yourself if it's something that you even want.  There's a lot of pressure to think that you should be doing things a certain way and that's a very strong influence.  Don't rush into anything you're not ready for.   

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havenseeker

Dude, I'm almost 21 and never kissed.

 

If you don't wanna, then don't? Why force yourself to do something you aren't comfortable with?

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uhtred

It really comes down to whether you desire sex.  Lots of people, especially at your age, are very uncomfortable talking with people of the gender that they are attracted to.  I think the question is do you want romance / sex and you just are not comfortable talking to people, or do you not want romance / sex.

 

In the end it doesn't matter at all.  Do what you feel like doing, Don't worry about the "label". 

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