ben8884

thread for people who dislike Facebook

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ben8884

I am putting this in Philosophy Politics and Science because I have a feeling that this thread will get political but if anyone wants to move it somewhere else feel free. Anyway....

 

I started this thread because I feel that Facebook is a detriment to society and I am looking for people to feel the same way. I think that at best it creates a false reality and at worse it has become a company that has knowingly allowed our democracies to be interfered. I also think its terrible how children are allowed to be on Facebook. I think it should be at least 18+ given the addictive nature of Facebook. 

They also don't even enforce their own rules let alone the law. There has been a lot of racism and calls for violence on Facebook and their company just doesn't seem to care. 

We need to get rid of Facebook or at least reform it-whose with me?

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Nowhere Girl

I wouldn't say that I'd want to get rid of Facebook. However, I hate it when having a Facebook account is perceived as almost obligatory, to the point that people who don't use it are suggested that they may be psychopaths. (However, I think that the Web is already past the height of such ideas.) I use Facebook "passively" - that is, I read, but I don't have an account, precisely because I hate being forced to do something. And now, as lots of people doing something public are dropping ordinary websites in favor of Facebook profiles, contacting them gets tricky for non-users. For example I wanted to create entries on a few games for the website Moby Games and I had trouble contacting the author. When I finally reached him, he said that I could have contacted him on Facebook. Oh no, I couldn't...

I also have some more specific issues with Facebook. For example using Facebook as a blogging platform is a terrible idea because a blog must have an archive, must have an easy way to access older entries! On Facebook the only option is to keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling... There is a profile called (in Polish) "Russian Fifth Column in Poland" - the author unmasks unofficial Russian agents of influence and crazy putinophiles, and I've seen how much time it took to reach some older entries...

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Ameline257

I don't really have an issue with it. There bad things about a lot of websites.

 

I just hate how not having Facebook is perceived as a negative somehow. I shouldn't have to join a random website just so people don't think i'm a weirdo.

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hohohocalist

I had a Facebook account for almost a decade. It was a VERY important part of my life. I've met most of my friends and my best friends and significant others through a summer camp (for gifted students) I've gone to throughout my childhood. On top of being connected with people I'm intellectually and mentally compatible with, I also moved around A LOT and I have some illnesses that have prevented me from keeping and maintaining friendships outside of these. Social media (and most importantly Facebook) offered me that. I've invested countless hours and an immense amount of energy into Facebook, so thinking about leaving was difficult, to say the least. My life had gotten to a point (that I'm still working myself out of) that was incredibly difficult. Facebook was an obsession for me (along with other social media, but Facebook was the worst). I was/am depressed and I was compulsively using it to distract from my entire existence, to feign a sense of connection to people and the outside world.

With all of this in mind, I FINALLY deleted my Facebook account, and it's been one of the best things I probably could have done for myself.

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Biblioromantic

Many years ago when I started up my Facebook account, it was mostly to have a way to communicate with extended family members. I have a plethora of aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings, and none of them live in the same state I do. The easiest solution was to set up an account so I could hear about their lives. Then for many years, I have worked with young adults during their university years--prime examples of Facebook's core user group--as well as many co-workers/faculty. My account became bloated with so many "friends" that I had knew at one point for a few semesters before they graduated/moved on with their lives. I had basically no real-world interaction with any of my "friends" anymore.

 

I'd heard about the big Facebook data breach, and a few months ago I got a notification from Facebook that my information had been compromised. I immediately started paring down my account. I went though ALL of the settings (it took me a few days, a few hours at a time each session) and restricted everything as much as possible. I unfollowed all of the content and celebrities I'd liked through the years and deleted almost everything on my personal profile. I went though the information Facebook had on me through their advertising personalization data and deleted every single item. I deleted my account history (all of the things I had shared or liked or commented on), untagging myself from any photos along the way. Then I backed up my photos to my laptop and then removed them from Facebook except for a profile pic that doesn't show my face. Finally, I unfriended everyone except for my immediate family members.

 

All of this took me about a week to do in several-hours-long sessions, and I was both horrified at how much information about myself I had willingly shared and determined to limit further damage as much as humanly possible. Unfortunately for me, I still need my Facebook account. I'm a member of a very limited number of groups there that use Facebook exclusively to publicize their events and so forth, and I'd simply have no other way to know what was happening with them. And, as I am currently unemployed, I want my future employers to find something when they do their inevitable background investigations prior to offering me a job.

 

I'd also like to emphatically state that people just don't know who is looking at their posts. Even if your setting have long been as restricted as possible, the people seeing your posts, reacting to them, commenting on them, and sharing them probably don't have the same restrictions on their posts. Many years ago, for example, I updated my Facebook profile when I got a new job. A friend commented to congratulate me and ask me for more info about the job, and we had a short conversation about it in the comments section of my post. Stupidly, one of the questions I answered detailed how much I was making. Several weeks later, a coworker at my new job--someone I had not friended but that happened to be friends with the another person in our conversation--was legit stalking me online and found the conversation. She got mad because she wasn't getting paid as much per hour as I was, even though I was a temporary employee not eligible for benefits and had additional education and experience she simply did not have. She printed it out and turned me in for violating the employee handbook, which had a clause stating that we weren't to share our compensation amounts with anyone. I got fired that day, even though my supervisor explained the situation, apologized quite sincerely, and wrote me the most glowing recommendation letter I've ever received in my life. I looked up that co-worker about a week later, and she had written a public post about how she'd been fired for posting negative stuff about our employer and coworkers, and it was pretty sweet. Karma kicks ass sometimes.

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Gentle Giant

I am not on facebook. I wasn’t aware of all those negative things that go on with it. But what I have heard and the more I hear negative things the more I don’t ever want to be on it. I remember my neice and nephew having to be required to be on facebook in school. I don’t think kids should be on it and certainly not be required to!

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Lichley

I think it’s bad how incredibly difficult it is to delete an account. I had to google search how to find the delete button, and once I’d deleted it Facebook were still keeping the account open in case I came back. I had to log back into it and delte it all over again just to get it to go away. 

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Next-Level Consciousness
36 minutes ago, oldsoulvocalist said:

I FINALLY deleted my Facebook account

How did you delete your Facebook account? I've had one since last October and am no longer interested in it. I've tried to delete it, but didn't know how. Thanks in advance.

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hohohocalist
2 minutes ago, The Angel of Eternity said:

How did you delete your Facebook account? I've had one since last October and am no longer interested in it. I've tried to delete it, but didn't know how. Thanks in advance.

I found the answer by searching online. There are options, especially keeping in mind that there is a distinction between deactivating and deleting.
 

This link MIGHT get you to the place to do it, but I'm not positive. It's been almost a month since I deleted. If it doesn't work, I'm sure some results on Google could assist you. Hope this helps!

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ben8884

An interesting article here basically Facebook admits it has negative side effects but tries to tell us the solution is maybe to use it more?

 

7 ways Facebook can be bad for you from Psychology today

 

Is Facebook bad for our democracy?

 

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Yeast

I had a Facebook account for several years but never used it. Once I began posting to it I noticed a bunch of creeps who had taken advantage of me in the past wanted to get back together with me. I suppose they thought I was still easy meat. It was then that I decided to cancel the account. I can't remember exactly how I did it but yes, Facebook keeps the account active for about a month before finally terminating it.  This company's CEO's are like broken records when apologizing for the fact they are in the business of selling their user's personal details to advertisers to fund their own operation.  Some fellow suggested an elegant solution might consist of a pay as you post service which would have no incentive to sell personal information.  No more Facebook for me but this afternoon I received a vaguely disturbing e-mail. Apple informed me my "find your phone" application was disabled. They even used my own first name in the message. Just how did they know the feature was disabled? It appears even my phone is spying on me.  Facebook may just be the tip of the iceberg.

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Deus Ex Infinity

Hell yes! Count me in. I deleted every single of my FB accounts a few years ago since I actually never liked it. Best decision ever! 

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Ortac

I am not a fan of Facebook. I have an account because it can be very restricting these days of you don't - so many organisations say "visit our Facebook page for information" or something like that, and Facebook requires you to log in to do that. Also, a club I am a member of chooses to communicate with its members via Facebook rather than by e-mail, so I have little choice but to have an account. However, I have given no information about myself to Facebook other than my name and date of birth which are required to register; I have not set up a profile and I never make posts, as I have privacy concerns. Despite that, Facebook inflicts upon me "friend suggestions - people I may know". In the case of some of the people on that list, I know who they are but cannot for the life of me work out how Facebook has linked me with that person. One of the people for example is the  woman who used to own my parents' house before she sold it to them 25 years ago. She certainly would not know who I am, so how Facebook made that connection I don't know. I find it really quite freaky and it puts me off wanting to use Facebook more actively. 

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Gloomy

Facebook just isn't for me. I like remaining anonymous on the internet, rather than having a Facebook profile with my real name and the lack of privacy.

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Ortac
9 hours ago, ben8884 said:

I am putting this in Philosophy Politics and Science because I have a feeling that this thread will get political but if anyone wants to move it somewhere else feel free. Anyway....

 

I started this thread because I feel that Facebook is a detriment to society and I am looking for people to feel the same way. I think that at best it creates a false reality and at worse it has become a company that has knowingly allowed our democracies to be interfered. I also think its terrible how children are allowed to be on Facebook. I think it should be at least 18+ given the addictive nature of Facebook. 

They also don't even enforce their own rules let alone the law. There has been a lot of racism and calls for violence on Facebook and their company just doesn't seem to care. 

We need to get rid of Facebook or at least reform it-whose with me?

Although I am not a fan of Facebook, I don't consider my views to be as extreme as that. If you consider what Facebook was originally founded for - to allow college students to communicate and keep in touch with friends - there isn't really anything wrong with that. It is like any company or organisation that grows from a small operation into a huge multinational business, it just changes the dynamics and that organisation has much more to cope with. In the case of Facebook, I think it is important to consider that a huge part of the problem and negativity associated with it is the way that people choose to use it rather than with Facebook itself. You could substitute the word "Facebook" for "the internet" in your post, and it would still hold true for many. 

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RosyIcepick

Been waiting 10 years for people to get off of Facebook. Now they finally are, but they're just migrating to other social media platforms.

 

I was in 6th grade when it looked like everyone around me was starting to lose their minds. The older kids talked about this mystical "Facebook" thing. I had no idea. Fast forward four years, and it was like living in one of those techno-horror 2000s movies: everyone was being controlled by this great and powerful digital entity, no one was the wiser, and if I tried to challenge it, I was told I was the one losing my mind.

 

People forgot that Facebook is, first and foremost, a company. I always thought the whole point of free commerce was that people could choose where and how to participate. At that point in time and among my age group (and maybe still is), Facebook was compulsory for maintaining friendships at the most basic level of getting together and interacting outside the institution of school. I should not have to buy into a company and their advertisers just to make basic human contact with people I know and see every day, to at the very least be in the know about friends. At first it was no trouble to respect people using Facebook, because people still emailed, called, wrote (yep), etc, and people would still talk to you using your preferred method. Once it became "get on Facebook or eat dust", I gave up.

 

That was when 95% of my friendships became surface. We'd interact at school, but after that I had no way to contact most of them, so I only ever knew these people one-dimensionally. It was, and is, just to difficult to maintain friendships using non-social media methods. I guess it's too draining. In my first three years of college, I naively tried to make friends the old-fashioned way, even begrudgingly accepting texting, but it just doesn't work. I've given up on that, too.

 

I'm not angry anymore. The thought of Facebook used to send me into a blind rage. Even the bitterness is subsiding, slowly. But I will always be sad that one cocky little Harvard entrepreneur stole a time that should've been filled with hanging out at parks and going to concerts and talking on the phone for hours about what so-and-so said to the math teacher. We should've been kids. We should've been teenagers. Instead we were too busy worrying about what to post next to make ourselves look cool. We were too busy turning each other into commodities to be bought and sold in the currency of likes.

 

I've been on Facebook twice, and gotten off in short order, because it made me feel awful and unsafe (stalkers, fights, friends who suddenly became abusive online). So I will remain off social media forever, call me a stubborn young broad. Turns out I like being alone and do well at it. But as I say, if Facebook ever jilts anyone I care about, for the love of Pete, I will welcome them with open arms and spit at Mark Zuckerburg's runaway machine until I have to go to the ER for a banana bag and a spit transplant. Social media can't be overthrown, it's too powerful. So I will just be right here waiting.

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Perspektiv

I can't say I hate Facebook, but have chosen not to have an account. I have however, tried in the past.

 

I saw it created unnecessary drama at times, during a breakup (it did for one of mine, where we had mutual friends). I deleted my account after that relationship, to avoid any further drama. Never looked back.

 

I always viewed it as a popularity contest. It also allowed many people potentially to be in on your business, even though they wouldn't even bother lifting a finger in real life to keep in touch with you.

 

For me, if I have to go out of my way to keep in touch with you and its a one way deal, I'm better off with you you out of my life. Facebook allows this person to still keep tabs.

 

Removing a friend from your friend list, just creates a whole new level of drama. Its just not something I enjoyed.

 

I also despised the people who shared a wall with you, who would update every time they brushed their teeth or made a cup of orange juice. Following this up with 32 pictures.        

 

Updating their status every 5 minutes: "OMG Just woke up" "Just had breakfast" "Doing dishes--this sucks!" "Dry and ready to go out" "Just left my house" "Just locked my front door" *puts picture of keychain* "In my car" "WOW. I love this song"

 

I despise this person.

 

I can see the advantages of Facebook. So, wouldn't want it banned or deleted. I just personally feel it doesn't work for me.

 

I don't hate Facebook personally, but rather many of the types of people you'll find on it.

 

It reminds me of high school a lot, and I was a very nerdy kid in high school so needless to say, was at the bottom of the food chain. If it wasn't for me being in athletics and combat sports, I would've been beaten up, daily.

 

If you remind me of high school, which to me reminds me of bullying, people willing to sacrifice integrity for popularity points--I have zero respect for you. I would want nothing to do with such a person, as well. The further away, the better.

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chandrakirti

EWWWW! I hate Facebook! It seems to revolve around how many likes you have from people you've never heard of, how vile some of the posts are, how many 'friends' you can accrue , in short, it's just another addictive computer game with the addition of trolls.

Yes I posted a word that's banned on the ToS, but not directed at anyone here.... in short these things just increase paranoia and anger, leading people to say things to each other that they probably wouldn't have the courage to say in 'real life', so yes I'm with you on the dislike of Facebook...

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Twig55

Definitely not a fan.  Personally, I think I would remove pretty much all social media except message boards.  

 

I think my feelings about social media in general can be summed up by this song.  It's a bit extreme, but gets the point across nicely.  It's in French but has English subs.

 

The worst problems I see are:

 

1. Lack of downtime.  If you're logged in (which people tend to be permanently when their mobiles have facebook pre-installed) then there's no real escape from the notifications and pressure to be active and interesting.  It's basically peer pressure on steroids.

2. The ability to retreat into a sphere where the only opinions you hear mirror your own.  This is the worst one, I think.  It's not like it doesn't happen offline too, but it's far easier to construct that environment when you have your pick of millions of other minds and groups.

3. The veneer of truth.  On a message board, nobody is required to give their real name or information to be viewed publicly - it's easier to remember that the person you're talking to could be a complete fraud.  On facebook, that's easier to forget because the person you're speaking to is 'required' to be real.

 

I'm not sure whether this is related, but younger people also seem to be terrified of using a telephone as an actual telephone.  I had to scrape one new team member off the ceiling a few months ago when I said he might have to speak to a client via the phone.  He's not the only one I've come across - one said he wouldn't even pick up the phone to family, only text or facebook.  It's probably unrelated.

 

Happily, I have heard of more people coming off facebook and other social media, so that's good.

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Perspektiv
4 hours ago, Twig55 said:

I'm not sure whether this is related, but younger people also seem to be terrified of using a telephone as an actual telephone. 

I remember reading an article discussing this growing trend.

 

In the 80's and many other decades when you heard your phone ring, it was off to the races to pick it up.

 

I have almost broken a toe running for a phone (lucked out and snapped half the nail off my big toe).

 

Nobody wanted to be that jerk letting a phone ring 20 times prior to picking it up.

 

Or for that matter, be that creeper who let's a phone ring that long. To me that was the social equivalent of ringing a doorbell, then going around the house to check all windows for human life inside.

 

Nowadays people have lost that human connection. Everyone is in a rush. Conversation takes time.

 

Just text me so I can look into it when I look into it. I got more important things to do. Ooooooh. Instagram!

 

Now it's the opposite. Most won't bother picking up. You have my voicemail and text. Don't bother me.

 

It's no longer rude. It's seen as the norm, socially.

 

I am still getting used to clients preferring to text me and have had to adapt. I feel like a dinosaur sometimes.

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Palovana

Facebook has completely ruined the meaning and value of friendship. I hated it when it started and I hate it now. The only thing I use it for is to follow my favorite sports teams.

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daveb

I never ever rushed to answer a phone in my entire life (long before there was even an internet or phones that weren't attached to the wall). :P

 

As for FB, I was only on it as a way to keep in touch with some of my family members. Never accepted "friend requests" from anyone who wasn't family. But I got fed up with it as they started putting up more and more videos and posts that weren't from anyone I knew - political ads, etc., so I stopped using it some time ago. And don't miss it. :P 

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Ayra Star

I joined Facebook wayyyy after all of my friends and only because most of my classes had group pages there and would always help each other with homework, assignments, etc. I never post anything but it bothers me how many people I barely know are trying to add me to their friends' list. I think it's such a big time waster and I wish I didn't have to have it, but when I was younger I used to miss out on so much gossip and info because I wasn't on facebook and my friends would always roll their eyes at how behind I was with what was going on. Being (unknowingly) ace as well meant I didn't understand all their sex jokes, so they thought I was the most clueless person to ever exist. So at least having Facebook meant I wasn't given those "as if you don't know that" looks as often

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Cimmerian

I'd support getting rid of facebook. There's so much I dislike about it, from the addiction people have to it, how many people won't talk to each other in other ways because of it, how invasive it and its data collection is, how it hasn't stayed as a neutral platform (testing positive/negative messages on users, deciding what to promote, what you see, or how content is labeled, etc), and has also gotten involved in the political circus (since at least two election cycles before the 2016 'incident' that wasn't anything new--- social media platforms should really stay the hell out of politics), and I especially detest how it's become such a default and expectation that you literally cannot contact certain groups in any other way (seriously what happened to being able to email a group, was that really so hard to keep?). There are a couple groups I'd love to be more active in and that I'm going to have to just show up and tell them sorry that I didn't RSVP, but when you only put it through facebook there's a problem.


I temporarily had one to get access to group meeting times when groups were not posting them on the webpage like they were supposed to, and had another for short time before that due to the lack of ability to contact people otherwise, but there's nothing about it that I enjoyed. Posts tended to be stupid daily (if not hourly) updates, people trying to one-up each other for who had the best day/life, and other shallow interactions in general; it was boring, depressing, and irritating. I was very happy to delete that account.

 

I've received many weird looks for telling people I don't have one, but I feel like I'm the sane one that's weirded out by the shift in Facebook being the default contact method. Instead of giving phone numbers, email addresses, or IM names out now people glibly go, "Add me on Facebook" as a way to talk to them. (Not that much worthwhile conversation happened on Facebook from what I saw.)

 

Myspace died out as a fad, so I'm hoping we can eventually kill off the Facebook obsession too if enough of us get fed up with it and/or refuse to use it. I don't trust it or its practices and values, I dislike the Facebook-centric world of communication it's created, and overall just don't like what has come from it and the new expectation that people should/must publish details about their lives online.

 

On 6/10/2018 at 12:27 AM, Gloomy said:

Facebook just isn't for me. I like remaining anonymous on the internet, rather than having a Facebook profile with my real name and the lack of privacy.

Also what Gloomy said. ^_^

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princessem1020

I have facebook and hardly ever use it. Almost everyone I know is friends with me and follow me, including my parents and pastor. Most of them are very conservative and Republican, so I half to be very careful to only post stuff they agree with that won't offend them. I could lose my job or house if I shared my opinions on a lot of things on there.

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ben8884

The onion has been amazing for standing up to Facebook. Check out this article here

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Salmiakki

I haven't logged in to my facebook account for soooo long and I've been wanting  to delete it but I can't because I'm too scared to log in. 

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.diva plavalaguna.

I have two facebook accounts but I am definitely disillusioned with it.

 

One account I just have for a game I play and the group that goes with it. Very good for getting all the best info to get ahead in-game. The other is my personal one. I'm not fond of the part where they think I should use my real name, so I don't. I cannot stand all the friend suggestions I get on that game account. I've seen my family members come up (I don't add family so how does it know to suggest them?). Friends from my other account suggest. It's creepy and annoying and I have no way of turning it off - now what's up with that?

 

On my other account, I'm starting to just not interact as much. There are some people there who are worth staying on for, especially because there's no other way to contact them. But everyone else, meh. Every time I'm on I feel like I'm observing their friendships, their lives, and every stupid thing in between and it's just becoming less and less interesting. I cannot leave facebook entirely for several reasons yet, but I've considered unfollowing everyone except for a very select few and only receiving posts from the groups I'm in.

 

I keep seeing this word going around, "clout," and how people are obsessed with it. And it just feels monumentally stupid. People are obsessed with being popular on facebook, and there is discourse around it. It's all so fucking dumb to me. I dream of the day where I can just delete my account without consequence. Majority of the 88 people on my friendslist are just not really friends anymore, or have too much going on in their own lives. And I've spoken here before about the lack of support I get when I share my stuff, while simultaneously having to watch others get tons and tons of support. It's just filling me with negativity to the point that I can no longer support certain people (by liking/commenting/sharing) because all I can think about is how they wouldn't do it for me. It's bad.

 

I'm probably gonna start unfollowing people on my fl soon. I also need to leave some groups. I am in a million and one of them and a lot of them are dead. I guess I just keep hoping that at some point they'll be active again. Or I feel like I'll miss something. How dumb is that?

 

If facebook just went kablooie, I don't think I'd shed a tear or anything. Good riddance. 

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texpika96

Oh Facebook ? i got some things to say

Personally its addicting yes and not in a good way. i have my account for 8 years, at 14 and now i'm 22 and it used to do some good like well i did kept in touch with family, classmates ( till something happened that i won't say) then after i met people near and far in facebook groups well anime and gaming really and i made some good friendships online then lost some too 😕 but all these years i realized how toxic Facebook can be and its even worse today. besides the high amounts of toxic people that tend to be hateful, the political arguments that tend to be racially motivated,  and hateful to many groups of people, though at the same time i noticed free speech is being curtailed for political correctness and i been a supporter of freedom of speech whether you're liberal, conservative , libertarian etc.  i've been temporarly banned a few times and some reasons were bs at its worse and i just felt even more turned away by Facebook

In all Facebook isn't what it is and adding to its addictive nature and how its pushing for more censorship and to the point they're working with several national governments ? we should be worried on that and plus the data selling scandal that happened recently ? it serves as massive red flags and we need to decide whats best for us all.

As for me ? i really want to leave but i got several friends left that are too stubborn to migrate elsewhere to talk to and sometimes Facebook does have good content left and memes ? but i know being on there also affects my self esteem and my insecurity issue i have but dang.... its hard to quit 

so i'm not sure what to do with Facebook anymore.

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ben8884

You can deactivate your account but keep messenger to keep in touch with friends and family 

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