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sex as self harm


whokilledhannibal

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whokilledhannibal

I use sex to hurt myself. Im sex repulsed. physical injury never 'appealed' to me, but anytime Im hurting and want to hurt more, I watch porn or masterbate. I feel like I could l do something dumb.

self harming advice doesnt work, bc its all to do with cutting, and it doesnt translate.

I was just wondering if anyone had the same issue, or had any tips or insight. thanks

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Telecaster68

It sounds like something you really need some support with. Is there anyone IRL you can talk to? 

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MsKittenFluff

Hi. I can't say I did the exact same thing when I was younger, but pretty close. Being in bad relationships that included sex (I didn't get physically anything from sex) was something that "I deserved". It was destructive emotionally and mentally. Self awareness, self acceptance, acknowledging you have value. A decision based on these truths, that you deserve better than you allow yourself to feel, that you're worth more than multiplying your pain, worth more than punishing yourself. That you are worthy of your own love and that you are precious inside and out. You have to value yourself to wrap it around your heart to not violate yourself further.

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I would recommend talking to a professional. Having an objective person to talk to about this stuff is very helpful. There are LGBTQ+ specialists too. Here are some helplines I found if you need them. https://www.selfharm.co.uk/ http://www.nshn.co.uk/

 

And everyone on here is here for you too as you can see. I kind of struggle with that too, though not related to sex. I know that there are people who study sexual abuse and sex as harm though. Perhaps they could help? I'm sorry I can't relate directly to what you're going through, but I hope you can work through it.

 

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Knowing it is the first step, talking to professionals would be the next. I had this too and I talked a lot about it to get to know my motives behind it and I got it under control.

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whokilledhannibal
On 6/4/2018 at 7:39 PM, Dr. Beat said:

And everyone on here is here for you too as you can see. I kind of struggle with that too, though not related to sex. I know that there are people who study sexual abuse and sex as harm though. Perhaps they could help? I'm sorry I can't relate direc

 

do you know what these people are called (eg optomotrists) ??

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whokilledhannibal
On 6/4/2018 at 7:12 PM, MsKittenFluff said:

You have to value yourself to wrap it around your heart to not violate yourself further.

your response is very helpful. I definately feel its what I deserve, and I can work with that

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From the title of your thread, I thought you meant you had sex with other people as self-harm.  Masturbation and porn doesn't need to be categorized as sex -- many asexuals do those and don't consider them either sex or self-harm.  

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