AngryAbrosexualPanromantic

Abrosexual Discussion

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic

Hi. I identify as Abrosexual Panromantic. I found this label a while back, and I'm really happy with it. I never liked the other identities I toyed with. Bisexual didn't fit, because I kept changing my preferred gender spontaneously. Poly, Omni and Multi didn't fit me for much the same reasons, also they felt a bit pretensious, no offence to the fully valid and awesome individuals that use them. Panromantic, I decided, fitted me, because my romantic attraction was always regardless of gender, but I knew that I was not pansexual because gender was always a big factor wirh my sexual attraction. Homo and Hetero didn't fit, because of my attraction to multiple genders. Asexual didn't fit either, because I do, for the most part, feel sexual attraction. Lithrosexual was the other one I tried, and that died a death quite soon. I was identifying as Quoisexual Panromantic, but I had no desire to keep on with this label, even though it is a very valid label.

 

Life as an abrosexual isn't that hard. My phases tend to last weeks or months, and they consist of hetero (or andro, if I don't feel female or don't want to associate myself with straight people), homo (or gyne if I don't feel female), bi (sometimes poly, if I'm uncomfortable with the label due to other people's assertion that I am bisexual), ace (apatho if I'm sex repulsed, auto if I'm attracted to myself and autochoris if I enjoy fantasies about others), demi (or gray if it feels more right), lithro and fray. 

 

There is no particular abrophobia, in my opinion. All I've had is people insisting I'm bi, saying I'm fake, and saying that I can't commit and won't find love. I guess hate to any non straight sexuality is very similar.

 

As for partners, I've only had 2 girlfriends. The second one doesn't really matter to me, but the first one I started dating in a biphase, before I went heterophase. I started becoming really repulsed by the thought of even being near her, and my first kiss with her, which was in a tent, was so horrible that I avoided her for a while. Eventually, I did the right thing and ended it. That's the only time being abro has interfered in my love life.

 

As for identifying as panromantic, what I mean by that is, my romantic attraction is always regardless of the other person's gender. However I do always swing towards whichever gender I'm sexually attracted to at the time. I'd be down for dating trans people of my preferred gender.

 

And as for my gender, I'm still working it out. I present as feminine and usually use she/ her pronouns, but I'm not identifying as a woman. I might be Librafeminine, Femmeflux or Agender. I'm still working it out.

 

Anyway, tell me about yourself, your abrosexuality, any comments, go crazy. Sorry for being so longwinded and tedious.

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic
59 minutes ago, hejsandra said:

sorry but if you're not ace or aro what are you doing on this website exactly lmao

Abrosexual is part of the asexual spectrum, because many abrosexuals, myself included, sometimes feel no sexual attraction towards anyone. I also have phases of being demi, gray, fray, auto and autochoris, which are all asexual identities. There are many abrosexuals on AVEN, probably because this is honestly the best site out there for us. 

 

Hope this answered your question... Lmao....

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hejsandra
2 minutes ago, AngryAbrosexualPanromantic said:

Abrosexual is part of the asexual spectrum, because many abrosexuals, myself included, sometimes feel no sexual attraction towards anyone. I also have phases of being demi, gray, fray, auto and autochoris, which are all asexual identities. There are many abrosexuals on AVEN, probably because this is honestly the best site out there for us. 

 

Hope this answered your question... Lmao....

that doesn't really sound like asexuality though. sexual people still go through ups and downs in their sex drive, and saying "hey, i don't feel like having sex right know" (even if that's for a period of your life) doesn't exactly give you the right to associate or try to understand how it feels to live as an asexual. i should probably shut up because i'm in a bad mood, but sometimes it's hard to come to the one place where you're supposed to be able to relate to people and be met with people like you who claims that abrosexuality is on the asexual spectrum. sorry i'll shut up now

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic
59 minutes ago, hejsandra said:

that doesn't really sound like asexuality though. sexual people still go through ups and downs in their sex drive, and saying "hey, i don't feel like having sex right know" (even if that's for a period of your life) doesn't exactly give you the right to associate or try to understand how it feels to live as an asexual. i should probably shut up because i'm in a bad mood, but sometimes it's hard to come to the one place where you're supposed to be able to relate to people and be met with people like you who claims that abrosexuality is on the asexual spectrum. sorry i'll shut up now

I honestly get where you're coming from, and I'm not asexual, and I don't claim to be. But I am still on the asexual spectrum, because part of my abrosexuality is having phases of no/ little sexual attraction. It's not a phase of 'hey I don't feel like having sex now', it's literally having no sexual attraction whatsoever. I don't claim to know what it's like to be an asexual, but Im here for the same reason you are, to be able to relate to people. Sometimes it's hard to find people like you who don't believe I have a space here.

 

Which leads me on to an important question: If you're not abrosexual or abroromantic, what are you doing on a topic titled 'Abrosexual Discussion' exactly? Lmao.

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Homer

I disagree with the idea of asexuality being a 'spectrum'. Would eating meat only every other Sunday put you on the "vegetarian spectrum"?

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hejsandra
Just now, AngryAbrosexualPanromantic said:

If you're not abrosexual or abroromantic, what are you doing on a topic titled 'Abrosexual Discussion' exactly? Lmao.

sksksk you're really sticking with this lmao thing aren't you

 

well fyi i clicked on it because i didn't know what abrosexuality was. now i know, so. also my sexual orientation doesn't stop me from reading or answering to threads, i'm just arguing that i wouldn't go on a homosexuality/bisexuality/abrosexuality/etc forum and open a discussion about asexuality. but, i suppose that's just a disagreement, the same way we disagree about whether or not abrosexuality is on the asexual spectrum and whether or not "hey I don't want to have sex right now" is literally no sexual attraction whatsoever. Good night.

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic
1 hour ago, Homer said:

I disagree with the idea of asexuality being a 'spectrum'. Would eating meat only every other Sunday put you on the "vegetarian spectrum"?

Asexuality is a spectrum, because many people don't feel sexual attraction the way an allosexual person would. 

 

Some examples that aren't abro include demi; only feeling attraction once an emotional bond is made, gray; only feeling sexual attraction rarely or under certain conditions, fray; feels attraction initially but attraction quickly fades, auto; attraction exclusively to oneself, autochoris/aego; will only feel sexual attraction if the situation doesn't involve oneself (It's a little hard to explain), cupio; doesn't feel attraction but understands the attraction, and apatho; hardcore asexual. These are all part of the asexual spectrum.

 

And as for the 'vegatarian spectrum' remark, that's called a 'choositarian'. They decide not to eat meat or animal  products for periods of time and decide to eat these things in others. 

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hejsandra
8 minutes ago, Homer said:

I disagree with the idea of asexuality being a 'spectrum'. Would eating meat only every other Sunday put you on the "vegetarian spectrum"?

i think it's fair to say that sexual attraction in quantity and strength as a whole is on a spectrum, as to some people are extremely sexually attractive (as far as it being a problem) and some people are not at all. if you very rarely experience sexual attraction i'd understand saying your on the asexual spectrum, or perhaps more accurately on the asexual side of the spectrum.

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Baam
Just now, hejsandra said:

well fyi i clicked on it because i didn't know what abrosexuality was. now i know, so. also my sexual orientation doesn't stop me from reading or answering to threads, i'm just arguing that i wouldn't go on a homosexuality/bisexuality/abrosexuality/etc forum and open a discussion about asexuality. but, i suppose that's just a disagreement, the same way we disagree about whether or not abrosexuality is on the asexual spectrum and whether or not "hey I don't want to have sex right now" is literally no sexual attraction whatsoever. Good night.

There are not many forums dedicated solely to gay and lesbian people, or solely to bisexuality. Rather, the most popular forums are LGBT, or LGBT+. There I see threads about asexuality from people on various stages of their journey of discovering their sexuality. They deserve a safe place to be heard and should be welcome (sadly that's not always so, but that's another story). Similarly, AVEN has grown to provide a place where people of minority sexualities - especially other than LGB - have been able to discover themselves and have relevant discussions. I think that @AngryAbrosexualPanromantic has just as much right to discuss their sexuality here as you or me.

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic
1 hour ago, hejsandra said:

sksksk you're really sticking with this lmao thing aren't you

 

well fyi i clicked on it because i didn't know what abrosexuality was. now i know, so. also my sexual orientation doesn't stop me from reading or answering to threads, i'm just arguing that i wouldn't go on a homosexuality/bisexuality/abrosexuality/etc forum and open a discussion about asexuality. but, i suppose that's just a disagreement, the same way we disagree about whether or not abrosexuality is on the asexual spectrum and whether or not "hey I don't want to have sex right now" is literally no sexual attraction whatsoever. Good night.

First off, I'm glad that I've taught you what abrosexuality is. Second off, the Disagreement of whether abrosexual is in the asexual spectrum is well and good, seeing as this is a controversial topic, and many people disagree that asexuality is a spectrum. That's okay. Just don't try and gatekeep.

 

Third of all, my opinion on whether my asexual phases are 'hey I don't want to have sex right now' are mote important than your opinions on the matter, because I am the one who feels this way. Just like your opinions on whether asexuals are fakers or 'special snowflakes' is more important than mine. When I am in my aphase, it's literally experiencing no sexual attraction whatsoever. It's not wanting to abstain from sex, seeing as I am a sex-wary virgin who doesn't want sex anyway.

 

Good night and sweet dreams 

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic
1 hour ago, hejsandra said:

the asexual side of the spectrum.

Maybe this is a better way of putting it? As although I believe asexuality is a spectrum, I can see why people would disagree on this or dislike the wording.

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Homer
12 minutes ago, AngryAbrosexualPanromantic said:

Asexuality is a spectrum, because many people don't feel sexual attraction the way an allosexual person would.  

That's why sexuality is a spectrum. Asexuality is one endpoint of this sexuality spectrum.

 

Asexual: Does not experience sexual attraction

Demi/grey/fray/abro/...: Does experience sexual attraction (albeit under certain circumstances), therefore not asexual

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hejsandra
1 minute ago, AngryAbrosexualPanromantic said:

Third of all, my opinion on whether my asexual phases are 'hey I don't want to have sex right now' are mote important than your opinions on the matter, because I am the one who feels this way. Just like your opinions on whether asexuals are fakers or 'special snowflakes' is more important than mine. When I am in my aphase, it's literally experiencing no sexual attraction whatsoever. It's not wanting to abstain from sex, seeing as I am a sex-wary virgin who doesn't want sex anyway.

oh, that one was a misunderstanding i think ? because i was arguing that when you said "It's not a phase of 'hey I don't feel like having sex now', it's literally having no sexual attraction whatsoever", that that's the same thing. "hey i don't feel like having sex right now" is the feeling i feel all the time, because it's the same thing as no sexual attraction whatsoever. and that's fine? idk you're right that it's you're life and i don't know to what extent you experience sexual attraction or not. i also don't know if other sexual people occasionally experience no sexual attraction though i'd guess so? either way i see that that point was made sloppily and very much on the go

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic
1 hour ago, Homer said:

That's why sexuality is a spectrum. Asexuality is one endpoint of this sexuality spectrum.

 

Asexual: Does not experience sexual attraction

Demi/grey/fray/abro/...: Does experience sexual attraction (albeit under certain circumstances), therefore not asexual

Honestly, your opinion is your opinion and it's a very valid one at that. All those identities do experience attraction, so are not asexual, but are not allosexual either. Maybe the idea of the asexual spectrum is poorly worded, because it makes it sound like asexuality isn't a valid sexuality in itself, which it most certainly is. However the idea behind the asexual spectrum is to include anyone who is not allosexual, including asexuals. I do agree it could be called a better name though.

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic
1 hour ago, hejsandra said:

oh, that one was a misunderstanding i think ? because i was arguing that when you said "It's not a phase of 'hey I don't feel like having sex now', it's literally having no sexual attraction whatsoever", that that's the same thing. "hey i don't feel like having sex right now" is the feeling i feel all the time, because it's the same thing as no sexual attraction whatsoever. and that's fine? idk you're right that it's you're life and i don't know to what extent you experience sexual attraction or not. i also don't know if other sexual people occasionally experience no sexual attraction though i'd guess so? either way i see that that point was made sloppily and very much on the go

Oh, okay. I understand what you mean now. I think. 

 

If you don't believe asexuality is a spectrum, which is totally reasonable, then Im here because this website is honestly the best one I've found for minority sexualities like my own. I've also learnt a bit about asexuality, which is awesome because my best friend is Asexual. If you disagree that asexuality is a spectrum, then that is fair enough. I'm on the asexual side of the spectrum.

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FictoVore.
40 minutes ago, AngryAbrosexualPanromantic said:

Asexuality is a spectrum

If asexuality is a spectrum  then so is regular sexuality. Asexual people (those who have no desire for partnered sex with others ever/experience no sexual attraction ever) would fall on the 'ace' spectrum. And variations of sexual people (which includes me even though I've been celibate by choice for 7 years now and have only experienced sexual desire for one person so far) would fall on the sexual side of the spectrum. It's also worth noting that no sexual person feels sexual attraction 100% of the time, that would probably kill a person. Some, for example, only experience sexual attraction to certain strangers and once they get to know them, they don't want sex anymore. Some ONLY experience sexual attraction for people they develop a romantic bond with and can ONLY desire sexual intimacy with those people. Some develop sexual attraction easily but it doesn't make them want sex with the person, other things trigger their sexual desire (like a specific fetish or whatever). These are all variations of people on the sexual spectrum (and there are many more!!). Variations of asexuals (people who don't experience sexual attraction ever but have varying degrees of romantic and aesthetic attraction and maybe some non-sexual fetishes and some masturbate and some don't masturbate etc etc) they all fall on the ace spectrum if one must insist there is one. Does that make sense? 

 

Anyway, regardless of whether someone is sexual or ace they're still welcome on AVEN. There are definitely non-asexual people here (like me) who feel far more comfortable conversing with asexuals. i also have much more in common with many asexual people than with most of the sexual population, so just naturally get on along better with people here than I do with almost anyone else. Hopefully this makes sense, I typed in an extreme hurry while doing my grocery shopping :P

 

(edit and just for clarification I'm not saying you can't ID on the ace spectrum if that's what you wish to do! we're not allowed to tell anyone else how to identify here, but we can share our own opinions and ideas which is just what I'm doing!)

 

Also where the feck has the button gone that changes font??? I don't like this boring font!!!

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FictoVore.
18 minutes ago, AngryAbrosexualPanromantic said:

but are not allosexual either.

Also out of interest, how would you identify an 'allo'sexual person? Because if it's only someone who experiences sexual attraction 24/7 to every attractive person they see or have ever seen, and desires sexual intimacy with every one of those people, then that's actually an extreme minority of the population and would probably fall into the 'nymphomaniac' range which many need to seek treatment for because it can be extremely destructive in their lives 😮 If that's what it takes to be a 'normal' sexual person, then normal sexuality would be something many consider a mental disorder! And everyone else (like, 80% of the population or more) would fall somewhere on the ace spectrum.

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Nowhere Girl
47 minutes ago, AngryAbrosexualPanromantic said:

And as for the 'vegatarian spectrum' remark, that's called a 'choositarian'. They decide not to eat meat or animal  products for periods of time and decide to eat these things in others. 

No, that's called "label obsession". :] As well as "an example of bad word-formation" (because it's better to avoid mixing parts from different languages and it's not a good idea to form words completely disregarding boundaries between morphemes. "Cheeseburger" and "workaholic" are perhaps the best-known examples of such disregarding).

 

While I generally disagree with @Homer about the asexuality spectrum, the sentence "Asexuality is a spectrum, because many people don't feel sexual attraction the way an allosexual person would" sounds really quite naive to me. Do you honestly believe that all people considered allosexual feel sexual attraction in the same way? Because I honestly don't.

Don't get me wrong - I have nothing against people choosing labels to describe their identity better. But we have to remember that any label is only a simplification. It's not a description, but only a sign of certain identity. There are no two asexual people who experience their asexuality the same way, no two allosexual people who experience their allosexuality the same way... simply because there are no two identical experiences and no two identical people in any respect.

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Sally
1 hour ago, Homer said:

That's why sexuality is a spectrum. Asexuality is one endpoint of this sexuality spectrum.

 

Asexual: Does not experience sexual attraction

Demi/grey/fray/abro/...: Does experience sexual attraction (albeit under certain circumstances), therefore not asexual

Yes yes yes!  

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic
2 hours ago, FictoVore. said:

Also out of interest, how would you identify an 'allo'sexual person?

An allosexual person is a person who feels sexual attraction. This includes identities such as Homo, Hetero, Bi, Pan, Poly, Omni, Multi, etc. It's a blanket term. It doesn't mean a nymphomaniac or someone who feels sexual attraction constantly, or to every attractive person, it just means they feel attraction.

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AngryAbrosexualPanromantic
2 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

No, that's called "label obsession". :]

Not even gonna lie here, I honestly agree.

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TheAP

I think the reason people say asexuality is a spectrum is because people in the grey area may be able to relate more to the experiences of asexuals than of allosexuals.

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FictoVore.
5 hours ago, AngryAbrosexualPanromantic said:

An allosexual person is a person who feels sexual attraction. This includes identities such as Homo, Hetero, Bi, Pan, Poly, Omni, Multi, etc. It's a blanket term. It doesn't mean a nymphomaniac or someone who feels sexual attraction constantly, or to every attractive person, it just means they feel attraction.

so if someone feels sexual attraction, they'd be allosexual according to you (or at the very least, on the 'sexual spectrum'), not on the asexual spectrum? That's what Homer and others (myself included) are saying, I think so anyway :) It seems weird to say 'allosexuals experience sexual attraction, but someone who experiences sexual attraction is also on the asexual spectrum' but then of course it depends also on ones definition of sexual attraction and it's probably best we don't answer that can of worms!! 

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Sally

I don't understand why some feel it's necessary to say "allosexual".  All that's needed is "sexual".   In fact, the prefix "allo" means "other", and othersexual is just...weird.

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FictoVore.
16 minutes ago, Sally said:

I don't understand why some feel it's necessary to say "allosexual".  All that's needed is "sexual".   In fact, the prefix "allo" means "other", and othersexual is just...weird.

Yeah I generally don't say it because it is a silly word, just used it because the op was. however I saw the original creator of the word talking about it (on tumblr, I know so shocking right?) and she was saying it means sexual attraction to OTHER people, whereas an asexual has no sexual attraction to anyone and an autosexual is only attracted to themselves. The other was meant to encompass all hetero/homo/bi/pan people because they all have sexual attraction to others. Still an unnecessary word though.

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Telecaster68
9 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

choositarian

FFS. 

 

Just... no words.

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Serran
6 hours ago, FictoVore. said:

Yeah I generally don't say it because it is a silly word, just used it because the op was. however I saw the original creator of the word talking about it (on tumblr, I know so shocking right?) and she was saying it means sexual attraction to OTHER people, whereas an asexual has no sexual attraction to anyone and an autosexual is only attracted to themselves. The other was meant to encompass all hetero/homo/bi/pan people because they all have sexual attraction to others. Still an unnecessary word though.

What I dislike about it is the fact allosexuel (french way of saying it) is the word for queer where the "other" is meant as non-hetero...  so to apply it to hetero just feels weird. 

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TheAP

I think some people on Tumblr are offended by being referred to as "sexuals"...so YMMV, I guess.

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Nowhere Girl
9 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

FFS. 

 

Just... no words.

Hey, I didn't invent it! I just quoted (and criticised) it.

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Homer
On 5/27/2018 at 3:02 PM, TheAP said:

I think some people on Tumblr are offended by being referred to as "sexuals"...so YMMV, I guess. 

I don't think that Tumblr is a useful reference point for basically anything.

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