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Hi. Those are my story and thoughts. Desperately need opinions.


Gump

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Hi there. I'm a male and I'm 22-ish. This is my story in the shortest way possible ( I hope you can understand it through my english which, sadly, is far from perfect ). 
At the end I will write some questions which answers will be easier for you to give once you've read the story. This line is just to explain you why it could be possible that I write something that has nothing to with the rest ( apparently at least ). I just want you to have an idea of what person I am, that's it. 

Basically, I'm christian. I was born from a christian family and I've been always happy about it ( including now ). As you probably know christians are bound to some more rules other than the basic laws of normal people, counting them as " sins ". This causes me to avoid doing a lot of things teenagers normally do, but I have always been cool with it as I was never forced into NOT committing any sin and decided by my own. My parents just let me decide freely. 
Even tho I am happy with my decisions, I have to say that the reason why I take them, instead, causes me a lot of trouble. In little words: Yeah, If I don't do something, it's because I'm christian. But most ( if not all ) the times pride surpasses my christianity... and I end up NOT doing something so that I can feel better than the ones who do. This thought not only happens in my brain but also comes out of my mouth, by opening etic-dialogues with people who just don't want to be bothered and be left free, ending up with them feeling I judge them ( which I do, sadly ) and stepping away from me. This specifically is and has always been my main problem in life when talking about communication with others. 
I totally comprehend that acting like this is idiotic and also a sin itself, so I try to fight it and stop judging, but I almost always fail. 
Me being aware of the issues my words can cause to other people, am always quiet when meeting new ones. At the point where, when I start talking, they realize I am a totally different ( worse ) person than they imagined. 
I am pretty much good on avoiding sins, but I feel pride ( feeling better than the ones who are not ) vastly surpasses the belief in god and life after death.

That said, my relationship with sex has always been a constant avoid, in a fight to mantain my virginity till marriage. [ here, someone may think " woh well, keeping himself for his last partner is a good decision " ... but what about pretending my partner to be virgin aswell? that's a lot less good, probably wrong on so many levels ] 

One day ( about 1.5 years ago ) I met a girl who I found out to be feminist. At least, that's what she thinks she is. She made me realize, with a couple of examples, how people use to act like womens are not equal to mens. 
After some months of talking with her, I decided it was time to study feminism by myself, and that's where I found out she basically isn't a feminist. She just setted up a world were things work like she likes and some times they happen to be feminism-proof. One of the facts that makes me talk like that is her idea of how sex should work. 

Feminism assumes that, since what people do when having sex was made by men, sex itself is sexist. [ if you want to know more, you can google: " the myth of vaginal orgasm ]
And by so, people who are feminist and want to stay consistent must get a decision about sex, either:
Not having it at all aside from reproduction OR asking men for a feminist-orientated sex ( am not very informed about what it is... let's just ironically call it a girl-made kamasutra ). 

The first one it's basically undiscussed, since avoiding sex solves the problem at his rooth.
The second one ( who is undisputedly picked by the ones whose life is too bound to sex to avoid it ) it's not as clean of problems as the first and is, in fact, an actual theme of discussions between feminists ( one of the problems might be: forcing mens to have sex like women want is as sexist as his opposite [ which by the way is what is happening right now in the world in average ] ).

Anyways I, being christian and feminist at the same time, have just picked the first and got over with it. 
The girl I talk to, instead, apparently hasn't a mind opened enough to get to this point. She says feminism must be applied to real life when something is causing real issues.

But then she doesn't define what a " real issue " is for her. Technically all feminist agree that sex equality is a matter of principle more than anything, because the female gender in nature submits to the male one most of the times, and by so is made to be like that. 
But even taking it as a matter of principle, Feminism STAYS consistent. I have always agreed ( since I got to know it ) to change things undependently from " real issues " or  principles. Hey, I am christian! Most of the things I don't do are ALREADY for principles ! XD 
She, instead, doesn't stay consistent.
Because some of the issues she considers real are vastly surpassed by sex and the problems people have in a society where doing it anywhere anytime is possible if not encouraged. 
She doesn't get it ( imho ) because she fails to bid sex freedom to.. I don't know.. rape for example. 
She doesn't comprehend that rapes are now common also for the constant impulse to have sex offered by society. 
She is able to find the objectification of a woman when someone says " bitch ", but then fails to find the objectification of both genders into sex at the sole purpose of pleasure.

I don't know. I have never been like that before, I never focused my mind into questions like those, but the more I see it the cleaner it appears to me: Sex is wrong. 

I am eterosexual. I like womens and not only sentimentally. A naked woman to me excite my senses like any other man and my sexual desires are the same as any other man's...
But I comprehend they are wrong and lead to a world that is disgusting. 

So.. even tho my mind works normally, me being christian, feminist and more than anything haughty... as of today, I am able to not have sex. 

I agree with literally any point signed in the antisexual page of AVENwiki, aside from the ones who involve not having sex for reproduction. And that's just because I, being christian, can't have childrens aside from the natural way of things. 

Feminism says that even natural sex positions are sexist, but I presume that in a world where sex is not bound to pleasure and people's mind not deformed by pornography, sex would be better and last for so little that the submissions of womens to men during the act itself, would matter nothing. 

Just like animals. I study veterinary and like animals a lot, I know how they work and how they have sex. They are really so clean and gentle to each other. Sex between animals starts and completes itself in a matter of seconds: The male smells the female, It has an erection, inserts, ejaculates, job done. 

The sex we know, the one lasting for tens of minutes till even an hour... it's unexistant in nature. It's an abomination made by men for men at the sole purpose of pleasure and THAT, for me, is the sex humanity could forbear from. 





Sorry for that long description, you probably understood very little and I am sorry. Because I have to fight between my inconsistent english, my low summary capabilities and my confusion ( that girl I talked before, is also the girl I am going crazy for right now ). 


My questions for you are:

Are my thoughs about sex right, in your opinion? 
Can I be defined as Antisexual? 
Can Asexuality properly intersect with Christianity and Feminism? 


Thank you for your time and have a nice day. :)

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NickyTannock

@Gump Welcome to AVEN!

 

1 hour ago, Gump said:

Are my thoughs about sex right, in your opinion? 

No.

 

1 hour ago, Gump said:

Can I be defined as Antisexual? 

Yes.

 

1 hour ago, Gump said:

Can Asexuality properly intersect with Christianity and Feminism? 

I don't know, I'm not a Christian.

 

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I think it's only a very small, extremist faction of feminism that says that consensual sex is sexist.

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smallnsparky

I'm a feminist, and an asexual. For me, feminism isn't about sex positions etc, though possibly that's because I -am- asexual, but my feminist views extend to the fact that women can and should do stereotypical 'male' roles, while men should be entitled to do 'female' roles. That women should be paid equal to men for doing the same job. That men should get no judgement for being a lone parent or stay at home dad. Etc. That 'man up' and 'you fight like a girl' are equally negative ways of thinking and by extension that certain gendering habits (ie, dressing girls in pink) is a modern phenomenon. I really could carry on, but feminism for me is that anyone deserves to be treated the same, no matter the gender. I also don't know any feminists who believe that consensual sex is sexist and trust me, I know a few. 

 

Being ace doesn't make me any less of a feminist. I'm not sure how it could, but then again, for me, feminism has nothing to do with the act of sex, although I fully support my allos in their right to have sex how and why and where they want, as long as no one is being harmed in the process.

 

 

 

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Welcome!

Honestly I believe that sex can be done by consenting adults if they wish to do so. It’s not masculine or feminine, it’s just sex. Both parties want to partake in the act, so they do so.

Anti-sexual does sound about right.

In the end, it should just be equality for everyone. Treat others how you’d like to be treated, all that stuff they teach you in kindergarten/reception. It doesn’t need to be complex, just give everyone a chance, and let their personality be the reason you hate them, not what groups they come under. :P 

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Moving this topic to Asexual Musings And Rantings

Homer

Moderator Welcome Lounge

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