Samantha_04 Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 First I would like to say thank you for reading this, so thanks. But just a little about me, my name is Samantha and I’m kinda new to all this, I’m 13 and I think that I’m asexual. When I first heard the term asexual I felt like I found something I was looking for but didn’t even know it. I’ve never found myself attracted to people, even actors, never had a crush but, the idea of ‘falling in love’ has always appealed to me. When I think of my future I think of a husband and kids but, i think when I see that, I’m looking at it the way I want it to be and not realistically. I think some part of me hopes I’m not asexual, maybe Demi-sexual or a Grey-a because some part of me wants to believe in the possibility of me falling in love. I’m not sure if that makes me asexual or not and I need a lot of help on this subject, but I think I’d be able to see myself more clearly if I knew who I was, asexual or not, I think that would help a lot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AcornCarvings Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 Hi and welcome, Samantha! It sounds like it is worth looking into asexuality for you, if anything just to know and be comfortable that it is perfectly ok not to be attracted to people sexually or romantically, and not to want those things. One thing that might take away a bit of the pressure and unease when it comes to labels is to know that you aren't signing your soul away by choosing one. People often times shift how they label themselves throughout their lives, as they discover new things/reconsider old ones about themselves. And sexuality is a thing that can shift gradually throughout people lifetimes (but no amount of forcing it will change it). Choosing a label doesn't have to close off possibilities in your life. Even if you choose to identify as aromantic or asexual dosen't mean that you will never fall in love, much less have fulfilling relationships. But it can be nice for finding validity or sorting out feelings in your head. Asexuality isn't a one-way-or-the-other binary, there are lots of people who find themselves IDing somewhere in between ace or not, and that's cool too (that's what makes the wtf-sexual or greysexual or all those other labels nice). People who don't experience sexual attraction can still have romances, and people who don't want romances can still form really amazing, deep relationships with people. If you do choose to ID as asexual or grey-a or demi, that's super cool! If not, that's cool to! and you can always re-evaluate. Either way, you are totally welcome on this site! Have some cake (if you like cake ) Spoiler Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LittleMouse Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 Hi! 🍰 I'm new too, so all I can say is, you're not alone, even at 29 I'm questioning myself and who I am, it's a process that is neverending in life. Just take things one day at a time and things will get easier to sort out. I was just checking out the forum they have on "am I really asexual?" and I recommend it if you haven't checked it out yet! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LeDeer Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 It's highly likely you're just very young and you haven't met someone you like. If I were you, I wouldn't worry much about being asexual; many things can change in 3-4 years. You could be asexual just like you could (probably) feel romantic/sexual attraction later. I've had my first crush few days before turning 18, and other people probably started to feel attracted to someone even later. Just be yourself, and also remember that labels aren't needed. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bandrailian Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 Labels are nice, they provide comfort and help you feel like you're not alone, but don't feel too much stress to create one for yourself already. Definitely use the term asexual if you think it will help you, and don't feel like that will suddenly mean you'll never develop feelings for someone if that's something you do want. You can be changing throughout your life, and suddenly the label you've decided to use might not fit either. That's okay too, because it means you're understanding who you are better. Both Sexuality and Romantic Tendencies fall onto a sort of spectrum, and are separate concepts from libido. Which is part of why it can be hard to find your identity. Ultimately being Asexual is about not seeing the point of sex (most often in the context of with others), or being completely repulsed by sex. Being Aromantic is about not developing romantic feelings for people. Both groups can still have a libido, meaning they have physical needs despite themselves. 1 hour ago, LittleMouse said: I was just checking out the forum they have on "am I really asexual?" and I recommend it if you haven't checked it out yet! Looking at other people's journeys can be a very insightful way to examine yourself, so this is fantastic advice. Your description of yourself is focused on the ideas of attraction and romance, which are already difficult concepts, especially at your tender age. You haven't talked about sex itself, which suggests to me you aren't sex-repulsive. This doesn't mean you can't be ace, but it does mean it can be harder for you to make the decision. Ultimately that's what it is. A decision you make about if it sounds right to you. If you have any more questions, or want clarification, feel free to ask! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 @Samantha_04 Welcome to AVEN! You might find this post helpful, Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Moving this topic from Welcome Lounge to Questions About Asexuality Homer Moderator Welcome Lounge Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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