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How / Should I say my friends that I'm an Asexual? HELP!!!


LuckySC

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Hi, guys, I'm here for advice ^^

I'm the asexual young guy who doesn't know how to tell my friends that I'm who I'm.
My friends spit up to 2 different groups: 1st friends from internet and 2nd group friends from my town.
 All my friends from town are Heterosexual and they probably don't know that asexuality it's a thing .-.
but my internet friends are more open ^^ girls from that group are Bisexual or Homosexual and they will probably accept me the most.
I really don't know what to do with the guys like how to tell them that I'm not interested in girl's butts and when they saying, Hey look at this hot girl over there" and they are also saying, What a Nice ass she has" what should I say? Usually, I answer Yea... with no emotions. I'm afraid that they will not accept me as an Asexual guy and I'm really worried about my respect because I'm a Cosplayer and a Singer and everybody love what I'm doing. People at school say that my songs are nice or funny. On the other side, my internet friends say that I made a cool looking cosplay and I'm good at cosplaying. Maybe I should say that I'm Asexual only to girls and also to guys who are not Heterosexual ( I'm just worried that Hetero guys will don't understand :( ). I don't know how to feel about it.
Is it worth it to say my friends that I'm Asexual and risk their respect to me?

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If people don't accept you as who you are, you may be with wrong people, no judgements. also, make sure that you are safe to come out as an Asexual guy to whoever and/ or wherever you do it. 

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Kitteη χ

My advice might be to come out to your internet friends first, who you think would be more accepting. I think coming out to them could definitely help you be more comfortable in coming out to your IRL friends later on.

 

From my own experience, I came out for the first time to a small group of close friends a few months ago, and one of them being openly gay definitely made it easier for me to do. I haven't yet come out to anyone else, but I definitely think that having done it once before, and seeing that it didn't change anyone's opinion of me or how they act around me, has made me more comfortable to come out to others in the future if I feel the need to.

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Hi LuckySC,
I personally wouldn´t say anything about my sexuality, unless someone asks me this in particular. Did a friend ever ask you this directly?
I would only tell them something about my sexuality, if I wanted their advice. Like you are doing now. 
As a honest friend I would tell them the truth about my sexuality, yet only if they ask me about it. 
If they are good friends they´ll understand it I suppose. 

Remember! If there is gossip about you, you must be an interesting person. 


Good Luck LuckySC 

 

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I have a "method" that I often use to see what other people think about a certain topic before I can say something. Basically, I play the clueless person who asks questions like: " Hey, I read about a thing called asexuality, (explains it in detail) what do you think about it?" and so I listen to their answers. If they are positive I can speek freely, but if I see that they are negative, I just change topic. It helped me understand that my parents are homophobic and that coming out to them would be the worst thing to do now, since I still live with them. Please, stay safe and don't feel any pressure to come out: everyone has its own times to do it.

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When they say, "What a nice ass." you could say, "Is that all she is to you? What's her name? What are her dreams? What's her favorite color?" If you hold them accountable for objectifying women they will get the idea that you are more interested in who she is than in her body parts.

 

To be brutally honest though, you are going to lose friends anyway. Even if you don't tell them, some people expect you to be a clone of themselves and anything about you that is different will end the friendship. I had a friend say, "If you don't start smoking, we can't be friends anymore." I told him "Goodbye." If any friend expects you to be a certain way to stay friends, say "Goodbye" and walk away.

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