KittyColor Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 So I am sure that I don’t feel sexual attraction to people. I used to confuse it for sensual and aesthetic attraction I think (it wasn’t until read these forums that I found out there’s a difference!). But as I have said on this site already, I do masturbate and my body does feel arousal and I know that if I did have sex with a partner (whether to satisfy my own libido or to satisfy theirs), I would want male genitalia. Can you have this genital preference and still consider yourself asexual? 🤔 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
In_Omnia_Paratus Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 I'm hetero ace so I'm only attracted to dudes, so when I consider the possibility of compromising for someone I have come to love, I only think of it in those hetero terms. Does that seem similar to your thoughts, maybe? Have you considered how your romantic orientation reflects your imagined sexual choices? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KittyColor Posted May 24, 2018 Author Share Posted May 24, 2018 @In_Omnia_Paratus I’m still so new to all of the terms (like I said I didn’t even know the different types of attraction lol) so I never knew that romantic orientation was separate from sexual orientation. Knowing that now, you bring up a good point. Thank you. Helpful! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
In_Omnia_Paratus Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 I'm a very romantically driven and pretty sensual person. It took a good while for me to sort out how my super romantically driven thoughts jive with my general sexual apathy, so I understand it can be tricky. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
In_Omnia_Paratus Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 The whole masterbatory element was confusing for me at first too, but ultimately I found sense of my experience through talking to teenage guys. Apologies for crudeness, but the oft called "no reason boner" situation applies to females too and that made me realize for myself that all I was experiencing was a physical reaction. "All the parts" work down there as they say, but that doesn't have any bearing on my perception or intellectual/emotional reactions to people. I've never been aroused by a person or event. It just happens sometimes and I do whatever makes sense to do at the time. Hopefully my ramble helps with your thinking a little. Got a bit carried away there lol 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KittyColor Posted May 24, 2018 Author Share Posted May 24, 2018 @In_Omnia_Paratus no no! That actually helped me a lot! I feel the same way! Sometimes I just have to take care of it because my body decides it wants to feel whacky. And yes, it’s satisfying, but I don’t really want to do anything with other people. Honestly I would rather take care of those physical needs myself and just have a relationship void of sex, because I don’t honestly see a need for it lol. But I know that it’s unlikely to find a relationship where the other party will be 100% okay with not having sex, and I’m cool with that, as long as they understand I don’t value it over other aspects of our interactions. Sorry. I started rambling too!! Oops! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
In_Omnia_Paratus Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Yeah, due to my level of apathy I've reached a point of comfort with the concept of compromising with a partner should the need arise. Haven't been in a relationship for years though. We'll see if I'll ever need to. lmao Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Welsh Ace Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 It is okay to be sex-positive and asexual, or to enjoy sex and be asexual. The only qualifying factor to be ace is not feeling any sexual attraction. You can be romantically attracted to someone and still be asexual. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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