Am I asexual or hyposexual? I’d like to talk to someone who knows more than me

[19Beowulf97]

Hi there.

So, since I was about 13 I’ve known I’m bi-sexual and understood as a woman I’m attracted to men and women. Now, I am married to a woman, and I love her, I also think she is physically attractive. That being said, I don’t want to have sex. I can have the idea of sex of read about it, and be turned on. Also, I’m a fiction writer and I can write sex scenes which frustrates my wife because I won’t have sex with her. Sometimes I try because I want her to be ok and happy, and although she’s beautiful and I want to go through the motions to make her happy, I’m bored and tired and don’t want to keep up the actions.

Sometimes even when she brings it up, I get tired thinking about trying.

For a summary, I have had sex (only with her though), I get turned on, can fantasize, etc but don’t want to do anything about it, and if I try I get tired and bored almost immediately.

I want to have some sort of understanding for myself and for her.

[m&m]

.

[InariYana]

How would you feel if sex vanished from your life for good? Would you miss it? Would you feel relieved? Imagine your whole future with zero sex - does that sound good? Or totally awful?

 

Or maybe you find yourself fantasizing about other people and yourself having sex with them, but you've lost attraction towards your wife (these things, sadly, happen...)? Or maybe you have a particular kink that would make it all more interesting but you haven't shared it with your wife yet? 

Can you remember a time when you've had sex and really, really wanted it badly and enjoyed it a lot?