KittyColor Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 I have always identified as heterosexual, but there’s always been something at the back of my head telling me that I don’t think about sexuality the same as everyone else. I get physically aroused and I do madturbate, but I do it more because my body likes the feeling. I’ve never really imagined having sex with anyone too. Whenever I masturbate, I imagine an attractive person and kisses, but if I imagine actual sex to masturbate, my libido just disappears. I feel like I really identify with asexuality, but I’m really scared to claim it. I almost feel like I’m not allowed to. I know that’s silly, but I’m terrified of accepting it. I keep trying to find things that would disqualify me from being ace, but I just keep pulling similarities. I don’t know what this post is for... maybe so someone can make me feel better about this. Thanks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AcornCarvings Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 You sound like asexual is a label that could fit you, but it is up to you to decide how to ID or not. Also, just because you ID as ace right now doesn't mean you have to stick with that forever. Sexuality is fluid and can change gradually over time, and also lots of times people learn more about themselves or realize things and re-evaluate labels (like you are doing now ) Just know that you are totally welcome in the asexual community. I hope AVEN is useful and supportive for you! 💜 (also, welcome and have some cake if you like cake! ) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KittyColor Posted May 23, 2018 Author Share Posted May 23, 2018 Thanks! I am really happy I found this website. I think it will help me a lot. I’ve already gotten a lot of reassurance from just reading these forums! Your kindness and warm welcome are much appreciated! (And I do love cake thank you.) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Falco Peregrinus Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 Welcome! As @AcornCarvings so eloquently put it, how you decide to identify is totally and completely up to you!! It shouldn't be a source of anxiety - no one can tell you who you are. I don't really have anything to add, just wanted to say welcome!! Enjoy the cake! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fiorine Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 Hello @KittyColor. I'd like to let you know that asexuals can get aroused and some do masturbate, so please don't think that experiencing/doing these things somehow "disqualifies" you from identifying as an asexual. I sometimes get physically aroused and rarely masturbate, but I identify myself as asexual because I have zero desire to have sex with someone else and don't feel sexual attraction towards people. Asexuals don't experience sexual attraction the same way sexual people do, and this attraction can vary because sexuality is a spectrum; the labels we use aren't rigid because sexuality is so complex and such an individualistic characteristic that it'd be impossible for a single word or phrase to explain it all. I understand that it's uncomfortable thinking about this kind of stuff, but I want you to know that you're on the right path towards figuring out who you really are by being here. I'm really glad that you're enjoying these forums as much as a lot of other people do too. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KittyColor Posted May 23, 2018 Author Share Posted May 23, 2018 @Fiorine Thank you so much! I never realized how fluid it all is. I think thinking that I had to conform completely to the label made it a lot more confusing. Very helpful! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! If you feel like you identify with asexuality, don't be afraid to claim it. If you haven't seen it already, I recommend reading this post, Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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