Alice987 Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Growing up I was never really sexual interested in anyone, the though of sex was extremely unappealing, however I did get crushes on the girls around me (raging from slight friends to best friends) and so I feel that I am a lesbian, in the past I've dated and never felt sexual interested in any of them and the relationships ended after a few months, but then I stared dating this girl and for the first two years I was dating her I was never sexual interested but that did change, we've been dating for almost 6 years now and sex is something I always enjoyed with her...for the longest while I've been thing that I'm demisexual, so can I be a lesbian and demisexual? When I've talk to people about this Im always told that I'm just picky when it comes to sex not demisexual and that it's not possible to be both. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AcornCarvings Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 yeah, that definitely sounds like a set of labels that could fit you. Being a lesbian doesn't necessarily mean you're allosexual (not ace spectrum), I think a lot of ace-spec women who are into women ID as lesbian. Also, welcome, and have some cake (if you like cake)! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Of course. 'Lesbian' denotes who you're capable of desiring sex/romance with; 'demisexual' just describes the circumstances under which you experience that interest. Demi isn't actually an orientation. So you're good. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenPrince Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Yes 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blue dog Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 all lesbians should be concidered asexual because of the lack of intercouse. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CirothUngol Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 @Alice987 demisexual would describe what circumstances are necessary for you to feel sexual attraction, and homosexual would describe to whom that attraction would be directed. Yes, they're really not in Conflict at all. All demisexuals will have a specific gender, genders, or lack of genders that they are attracted to. @blue dog ouch, you would seem to be way off base with that one! Lesbians are not strictly asexual because they, by definition, feel sexual attraction towards other people. Please review the Aven Wiki and the Lexicon. Try to make sure that you understand the basics of what you're talking about before you attempt to answer the questions of others. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 4 hours ago, blue dog said: all lesbians should be concidered asexual because of the lack of intercouse. ????? I assure you that the lack of sex in my life is due only to distance from the person I want to be having sex with, not being asexual. You are aware that women -- straight or gay -- actually want sex, yeah? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 7 hours ago, blue dog said: all lesbians should be concidered asexual because of the lack of intercouse. Lmao what. We keep our nails short for a reason, mate. Are you a lesbian, or..? Where did you get this bizarre notion from? It doesn't even make sense to say lesbians should be considered asexual, we're literally two different sexualities..? If anything you'd call such lesbians celibate, not asexual... Not having sex is different from not experiencing sexual attraction. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Yeah, PiV sex is not the only type of sex. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 6 hours ago, TheAP said: Yeah, PiV sex is not the only type of sex. Yeah, there's not only PiV, there's also scissoring. Everyone forgets scissoring! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 I don't think I'll ever quite get the point of scissoring hahaha. It seems like a thing that some heterosexual men really really hope lesbians do, although I've heard that it's not actually entirely a myth. Seems so... inefficient and somewhat awkward... to me. But I guess I shouldn't knock it if I haven't tried it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 What is scissoring?? Btw, I don't have any form of partnered sex (and don't like touching myself directly), but I keep my nails ultra-short. I hate having long nails, for me it's extremely uncomfortable. Plus, I suffer from allergy, I can't eliminate itching (it would require harmful amounts of medication), so I scratch when I can no longer stand the itching and so having short nails limits the amount of damage I can unintentionally do to my poor skin. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 21 hours ago, CBC said: I don't think I'll ever quite get the point of scissoring hahaha. It seems like a thing that some heterosexual men really really hope lesbians do, although I've heard that it's not actually entirely a myth. Seems so... inefficient and somewhat awkward... to me. But I guess I shouldn't knock it if I haven't tried it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I actually heard for the first time the other day that some people actually do it. I never even considered it, it's just such a bizarre thing to do! I thought it was our version of drop bears, but... I'm pretty sure it's an extreeeemely small minority lmao! 14 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said: What is scissoring?? Btw, I don't have any form of partnered sex (and don't like touching myself directly), but I keep my nails ultra-short. I hate having long nails, for me it's extremely uncomfortable. Plus, I suffer from allergy, I can't eliminate itching (it would require harmful amounts of medication), so I scratch when I can no longer stand the itching and so having short nails limits the amount of damage I can unintentionally do to my poor skin. It's how people who have no clue about sexual woman-woman relationships think that we have sex. Don't worry, it's pretty stupid. I also keep my nails short for the same reason really (I'm single atm lol so that's not contributing), I have atopic dermatitis so I've always kept them that way. Just means I'm that much more of a stereotype. This is a bit off-topic (sorry), but since I started methotrexate it's been 100x better. They're actually bringing out a new drug which has almost no side effects (only dry eyes pretty much) so that's exciting. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 On 5/24/2018 at 6:06 AM, Baam said: This is a bit off-topic (sorry), but since I started methotrexate it's been 100x better. They're actually bringing out a new drug which has almost no side effects (only dry eyes pretty much) so that's exciting. Off-topic too: is methotrexate similar to tacrolimus? That's the ointment I'm using. A few years ago I was to participate in a clinical trial, but first I had to stop using the ointment - after a few weeks my skin looked so bad that I quit because I was afraid what would happen if I got the placebo. On 5/24/2018 at 6:06 AM, Baam said: It's how people who have no clue about sexual woman-woman relationships think that we have sex. So is it... the same as "fingering" a partner? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yurilover Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 On 5/23/2018 at 9:39 AM, Nowhere Girl said: What is scissoring?? (TMI/NSFW) https://www.autostraddle.com/you-need-help-whats-the-deal-with-scissoring-242968/ (TMI/NSFW) It's tribbing in a more odd position in my opinion. On 5/23/2018 at 2:35 AM, CBC said: I don't think I'll ever quite get the point of scissoring hahaha. From my experience tribbing in the missionary position is quite pleasurable for the person on the bottom end. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 1 hour ago, Nowhere Girl said: Off-topic too: is methotrexate similar to tacrolimus? That's the ointment I'm using. A few years ago I was to participate in a clinical trial, but first I had to stop using the ointment - after a few weeks my skin looked so bad that I quit because I was afraid what would happen if I got the placebo. I believe so, though I don't know much about tacrolimus. Except, methotrexate is taken in the form of a tablet most commonly when treating eczema, or more rarely given by injection. Muuuuch more effective than any steroid ointment for most people. They only prescribe it when steroids and other treatments aren't effective enough. It has many of the same effects as tacrolimus - it is an immunosuppressant and also can be used to assist with organ transplants. The new drug coming out is called Dupixent (dupilumab) if you're interested. I'm quite excited, as my doctors want me on it when they're able to prescribe it in Australia. That's the worst thing about clinical trials... The fear that you get the placebo, especially when you're so desperate for relief. :( 1 hour ago, Nowhere Girl said: So is it... the same as "fingering" a partner? No, that's much more 'normal'. Imagine getting two pairs of scissors, opening them, and just jamming them together. Basically. Haha! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Of course you can, for being demisexual as such only means that you need to establih a very deep emotional connection first before experiencing sexual attraction torwards somebody else. It doesn't effect your gender preferences. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted August 3, 2018 Share Posted August 3, 2018 On 5/25/2018 at 4:00 AM, Yurilover said: (TMI/NSFW) https://www.autostraddle.com/you-need-help-whats-the-deal-with-scissoring-242968/ (TMI/NSFW) It's tribbing in a more odd position in my opinion. From my experience tribbing in the missionary position is quite pleasurable for the person on the bottom end. Thank you, I've seen lots of pictures, but always wondered which of the participants got more pleasure from the act. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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