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Advice for a Quoiromantic/Alterous Ace?


CereaLlama

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CereaLlama

First of all, hello everybody! 😊

 

I'm a 14 year old 9th grade (Almost 10th) girl, and I kinda need some advice about a guy... Not long ago, I found AVEN and did a ton of research about asexuality and stuff, and I found out that I'm an alterous and/or quoiromantic asexual (The links have the definitions). http://aromantic.wikia.com/wiki/Alterous    http://aromantic.wikia.com/wiki/Quoiromantic

I've known this guy for about 3 years at school, although we don't talk too often. I like him, but a romantic crush seems too much, and a platonic squish seems too little to describe how I feel (What's it called? Crush? Squish? Squash? lol). I am 90% sure that he has some feelings towards me (He hasn't directly mentioned it to me), but if he asks me out, I won't know what to say. The chances of him having the same orientation as me are nearly impossible, so he may not want the same type of relationship that I would want. I've NEVER felt this way about a guy, all of my "crushes" in the past were actually squishes. What I kind of want to do is to begin a friendship and see how it goes from there, although we're both SUPER shy. So, what do you think I should do?

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Oh man, I’m in practically the same boat with all of this.

 

This thread has some stuff about what to call a quoiromantic crush. Plush is one name people use, but I don’t think there’s a consensus.

 

I feel like if you aren’t sure how you feel then it couldn’t hurt to try and become friends with him. That way you can figure out if friendship is enough closeness for you or if you still want it to be something more. Either way, overthinking it leads to feeling like the whole thing is even more complicated than it is, so if it works for you to be relaxed about it, I think that’ll make it a better experience. 

 

I don’t know how qualified I really am to be giving advice, but just try not to stress yourself out about it too much, and hopefully at very least you can become friends 😊

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CereaLlama
On 5/21/2018 at 11:24 PM, Rosoideae said:

Oh man, I’m in practically the same boat with all of this.

 

This thread has some stuff about what to call a quoiromantic crush. Plush is one name people use, but I don’t think there’s a consensus.

 

I feel like if you aren’t sure how you feel then it couldn’t hurt to try and become friends with him. That way you can figure out if friendship is enough closeness for you or if you still want it to be something more. Either way, overthinking it leads to feeling like the whole thing is even more complicated than it is, so if it works for you to be relaxed about it, I think that’ll make it a better experience. 

 

I don’t know how qualified I really am to be giving advice, but just try not to stress yourself out about it too much, and hopefully at very least you can become friends 😊

Thank you! I think you're right. Hopefully we can at least become friends. I'm gonna somehow try to talk to him. 😊

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