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Does anyone else feel "vulnerable" at the thought of sex?


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2 minutes ago, mzmolly65 said:

I think you are my twin

I’m glad you posted because you helped me clarify a couple of things for myself.  Sad high five.

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7 minutes ago, mzmolly65 said:

I feel slightly less alone today.

Same!  :)

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everywhere and nowhere
2 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

One formerly asexual poster on here did say that 'discovering' their sexuality felt like finding an extra gear when driving a car. 

See? And I can't even relate to it because I don't drive. ;)

 

(And I'm actually proud of not contributing to pollution and to terrorizing pedestrians.)

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DoYouUnderstand
On 5/21/2018 at 11:09 AM, Telecaster68 said:

Probably me among them. 

 

It's not exactly the vulnerability, but that in being desired and accepted sexually by someone, you've made yourself as vulnerable as you can be, and it's gone fine. And they've done the same with you, and it's also gone fine. That's where the closeness and intimacy comes from, and I don't think anything else comes up close to it. It's also why being sexually rejected hurts so much and is such a big deal - you've made yourself vulnerable and you've been rejected. The other person has said 'I don't feel that level of trust and safety with you', effectively.

 

However much asexuals say it's not personal, it just... is, to sexuals. 

That helps me understand sexual people a bit better. Thanks for sharing.

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I’m mainly just disinterested in sex and romance as a whole, but I also am not a very trusting person. As someone with divorced parents, it’s really difficult to feel safe enough with someone to feel comfortable exposing any sort of vulnerability or weakness. I just feel much safer when I hold all my cards close to the chest. 

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PixleyDust✨
On 5/21/2018 at 9:00 AM, CirothUngol said:

Casual as opposed to what, formal sex?

Okay, call it a screwed up coping mechanism, but now I can’t help picturing that.

 

Them: “I believe the time for coitus is upon us, milady. Let us make haste towards our marital chambers!”

 

Me: “Yes, we must at once! But first, we will need the butler to fetch us the usual necessities.”

 

And everyone wears tuxedos, even during. ESPECIALLY SO. IT’S A MUST.

 

The End. 🤣

 

 

But seriously, I’m a sex-averse aro/ace and a virgin, but I can understand how the vulnerability of sex can make it so attractive, despite my INTENSE fear of it. Of course, I’m just afraid of vulnerability period. Even in totally familial or platonic situations, if not MORE SO. 

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