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I feel wrong having my ace flag up as demisexual...


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So, for the longest time I thought I was ace. Never wanted a sexual relationship, never felt a sexual attraction, all that asexual jazz. Then I met the love of my life, and I'm now veering toward demisexual. 

When we first stated dating I told him I was ace, and he was totally on board. His words: "Yea, sex is nice and all, but I'd never have sex again if it meant I could be with you." And I know he meant it. However, as we got closer and I fell more and more in love, and as I got know him better and form that emotional bond, things kinda switched. There's a difference between 'having sex' and 'making love'. I can make love with my boyfriend, and I truly believe that hes the only person I can do that with, but I don't think I could have sex with anyone. Even if we were to break up, the connection I have with him is one I will only ever have with him, and I don't think I could do what I do with him, with anyone else.

 

Anyway, I feel almost 'fake' with my ace flag hanging on my wall. I still feel like a part of the asexual community, but I don't know.... thoughts?

Thank you all ❤️

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Blissful_Sins

Well, I'm not an expert on this, prob'ly an intermediate if you please, but you once thought you were an ace, phases count, you're part of the Asex community mate ❤️ 

I like the... story? I think you could put it that way, it's so sweet, my favorite is the "There's a difference between 'having sex' and 'making love'."

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Blissful_Sins

Oh one more thing. In my opinion, no one's "fake" really, you're that way because that's who you believe you are or want to be or have been. Even if you pretend you're someone in front of lets say me and then someone else in front of someone you're close to 😛

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@Clarafy You're not a fake if you honestly thought you were asexual and then turned out to be demisexual. You're not attracted to anyone other than your boyfriend, so that makes you more asexual than sexual, I would think.

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I always thought the ace flag encompassed the whole ace spectrum community, including demisexuals. I know demisexuals also have their own flag, but I do not think you are "faking" anything. You are still part of the asexual community and I think that the flag still represents you, if you want it to do so. So you are not "faking" anything, in my view.

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Duke Memphis

Demi's part of the ace spectrum, so fly the flag if you want to.

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There's a demisexual flag that uses the same colours, if you want something to switch to for accuracy's sake, but I don't think that's necessary. There is grey on the flag, after all. :) And really, as long as you believe in spreading awareness and support of asexuality and the ace umbrella/community, then the flag still carries meaning to you, right?

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EggplantWitch

The grey stripe on the flag represents the 'in between' asexual-end-of-spectrum sexualities like grey and demisexual, and the purple stripe the wider community, so you should absolutely feel free to use it! It was designed with you in mind too!

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