How to write a good ace character

[Taycof]

Hi people-

 

So I just read the AVENues edition about "Aces in the Media", and it got me thinking: I'm writing a book, or at least trying to, and I want to portray my main character as an asexual girl. However, I'm not really sure how to make it clear that she's not sexually attracted to anyone, and it's not like she just "hasn't found the right one yet." The easiest way to do that would obviously be to have it explicitly stated that she's asexual, but I see a few problems with that: one, I don't think the character has fully figured that out for herself yet, so I can't define it. Two, they're a little busy saving the world - it's not like they can sit down over a cup of coffee and have a discussion about sexual identity. Three, explicitly stating it like that just seems like bad writing, plain and simple.

 

I really want to figure this out, because ace representation is important to not only me, but also I want it to help other people in this community - does anyone have any tips? Are there maybe other writers on here? I'll be doing my own research, of course, but I'm open to help wherever I can get it.

[atpsynthace]

I'm a writer trying to portray ace characters too, so I'd also be interested in seeing how other people would suggest approaching this! For me, so far, it's depended on the setting and the character. I have one who I explicitly stated to be asexual, but it's a modern slice-of-life setting and he's aware that he's ace. However, in my more fantasy-like setting with a character who I don't think is fully aware that he's ace, I've sort of had difficulty with it? With him, I've just shown him being sort of uncomfortable/dodgy with overt sexual advances and dismissive about participating in sexual relationships without being weird about the idea of other people being in those sorts of relationships? I also have him romantically involved with a person without being explicitly sexually attracted to them. Other than that, I'm not sure how else to portray that he's ace other than... again, outright saying it. Sorry I can't be of much help, haha, but good luck!! 

[Laplace]

The unfortunate problem with asexuality is that it’s not well-known enough for a large audience to simply infer a character is asexual ☹️. So there’s a bit of a dilemma; do you try to show they are asexual and hope people will pick up on it, or do you outright say it in someway even if it has to smack the reader like an anvil to the face 😅? I have no experience writing fiction voluntarily so I can’t give any foolproof advice, but perhaps adding in multiple characters who are in relationships may help contrast the ace character. If other characters are together while one character is distinctly single or never comments on anyone’s attractiveness, it may jump out at the reader that the character is different. Of course, if you’re planning on having a largely ace cast, that may be impossible. But if it’s one person, that may be enough for readers to take notice.

[danvers]

I would try to make it clear that the character isn't sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of gender. Otherwise, depending on the amount of other LGBT+ representation in the story, readers might interpret an ace character's lack of interest in sex as evidence that they are gay, not ace.

 

Maybe you could include a scene  where your ace character is confused by how important sex is to your allo characters. In a saving-the-world situation, maybe it's the night before a big battle, and your characters are talking about life, and crushes or sex happen to come up?

[SithLord]

I'd make it a big deal that no, they're not attracted to people, thanks.  Like having a pushy friend or love interest who they just keep dodging the question with.  Mine only really works when romance is a major part of the story though.  If you're writing an action comedy set in a sci-fi fantasy world it's probably not that important.

[Guest]

I would use some other character to bring the subject up. For example, there could be someone in the main character's group who likes to be flirty with people and comment on people they find attractive. This character could wonder why the protagonist doesn't like to do those things in any extent. Or perhaps there's someone who misses their partner and asks if the protagonist has someone waiting for her. The discussion could advance from there.

 

Pretty much any kind of character could fill the above role. Of course you should develop them properly beforehand, since having a character whose only job is to bring protagonist's sexuality to foreront could easily feel heavyhanded. I also would use the ensuing discussion to develop protagonist and other character's relationship further (is the other person supportive, do they find the idea of asexulaity weird which causes strain between them?)

[Taycof]

12 hours ago, atpsynthace said:

I'm a writer trying to portray ace characters too, so I'd also be interested in seeing how other people would suggest approaching this! For me, so far, it's depended on the setting and the character. I have one who I explicitly stated to be asexual, but it's a modern slice-of-life setting and he's aware that he's ace. However, in my more fantasy-like setting with a character who I don't think is fully aware that he's ace, I've sort of had difficulty with it? With him, I've just shown him being sort of uncomfortable/dodgy with overt sexual advances and dismissive about participating in sexual relationships without being weird about the idea of other people being in those sorts of relationships? I also have him romantically involved with a person without being explicitly sexually attracted to them. Other than that, I'm not sure how else to portray that he's ace other than... again, outright saying it. Sorry I can't be of much help, haha, but good luck!! 

I actually really liked our advice! I'm trying to write something that's both modern and fantasy - I think the official term is urban fantasy? So I've got to somehow balance the modern aspect of addressing sexuality and the fantasy aspect of not addressing sexuality at the same time. 

[Sherlocks]

Well Oswald Cobblepot from gotham for season two and One was a good pass for Ace. He seem more goal driven and focused on succeeded vs his love life.

[PirateGirl6423]

Well you don't want to give off the impression that all aces are incapable of romantic love (unless you want the character to be aromantic as well). Sometimes introducing a love interest or at least a crush might help readers see that love does not automatically equal sex. I actually did this in a fanfic:

The main character was having a great time hanging out with her boyfriend and while they're kissing his moves start to get a little more intense. She finds she does not want to go all the way with him, and tells him (he understands and backs off). But she wonders why she doesn't want to because she feels she DOES love him, which leads her to question herself. After a bunch of self-discovery it ends with her talking it out with her boyfriend and the two of them agreeing that they will do it when they are both ready, and that he doesn't love her any less knowing she may never want to sleep with him.
The point I'm trying to make is even if an ace DOES find someone, that does not mean they will want to have sex. This is only if you want a love interest involved, but it's a little hard to talk about asexuality when relationships aren't at least suggested, maybe by other characters.

[Bronztrooper]

I've been wondering about it too, but the way I want to do it is to have smaller moments and instances that could hint towards my character being ace (I'm doing a self-insert fan fiction for a game series called 'Dragon Age', which is a dark-ish fantasy RPG, with multiple LGBT+ type characters that're romanceable), and eventually have one moment that goes completely against what they'd been exposed to (since it's a self-insert, the character in question is a guy) as 'expected' for him, and thus, causes some serious questioning for a bit before later being dropped.

 

Eventually I plan on having one of the canon characters give a rough description of asexuality without outright naming it (specifically one who is canonically pan who places a big importance on consent) after there being a bit of a discussion of my character's relationship with another character (which will be an asexual relationship in nature, but still a romantic relationship).

 

The way I want to do it is essentially to not put a massive spotlight on my character being asexual, but rather, treat it like it's just another aspect of the him.  I don't want it to be presented as a big deal because, on the whole, it doesn't really change that kind of person he is, so life just goes on after the realization.

[Aroace_bookworm]

It's like creating a straight character. Maybe mention it once or twice, as Bronztrooper said, don't put a spotlight on it. They're not the 'asexual character', they're 'a character who happens to be asexual

[Bronztrooper]

3 minutes ago, Aroace_bookworm said:

It's like creating a straight character. Maybe mention it once or twice, as Bronztrooper said, don't put a spotlight on it. They're not the 'asexual character', they're 'a character who happens to be asexual

Exactly this.

 

It reminds me of Gabriel Iglesias talking about his experience being a stand-up comedian.  At one point, he mentions how he's been asked what it's like being a latino comedian and says that his response is usually "I don't know.  I'm a comedian who just happens to be latino."

 

Don't see why it should be any different with sexuality.

[Aroace_bookworm]

3 minutes ago, Bronztrooper said:

10 minutes ago, Aroace_bookworm said:

It's like creating a straight character. Maybe mention it once or twice, as Bronztrooper said, don't put a spotlight on it. They're not the 'asexual character', they're 'a character who happens to be asexual

Exactly this.

 

It reminds me of Gabriel Iglesias talking about his experience being a stand-up comedian.  At one point, he mentions how he's been asked what it's like being a latino comedian and says that his response is usually "I don't know.  I'm a comedian who just happens to be latino."

 

Don't see why it should be any different with sexuality.

And genders, and pretty much everything. He's not the gay teacher, eh's a teacher who happens to be gay. She's not the trans girl, she's a girl who happens to be trans. They're not the smart kid, they're a kid who happens to be smart. It's not who they are, it's a part of them, and they should not be defined by that.