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carl_44

am I asexual or SPD?

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carl_44

Hi everybody:

 

I have a doubt, am I  asexual if I like women,  but only young and pretty arouse me (19-24 years old)?

 

I force myself  to have sex (3 or 4 times per year) with pros.; and  it feels fine but just that. Because I get pretty anxious and I have to take the blue pill.

 

I am now 44 years old but ....

 

I have never had a girlfriend

I am not interested to have a girlfriend or a relationship.

I dont like to be touched or touch other people.

Porn confuses myself; due  I act like homosexual  if I watch porn. For some twisted reason I imaging I am the woman.

 

But put aside Porn, do you think I am assexual.

I was reading and I think I am SPD (Schizoid personality disorder).

 

Wikipedia:

 

Schizoid personality disorder (often abbreviated as SPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, detachment, and apathy

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Claire1983

I don't know, but if you think you have a personality disorder you should consult a qualified mental health professional.

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element83

There is nowhere near enough information to determine whether you have SPD.  As @Claire1983 pointed out, only a qualified professional can tell you whether you do or not.  People with SPD tend to lack interest in all kinds of social relationships (friendships, meaningful social interactions with cashiers, etc), not just sex and dating.

 

As for the asexuality, you say you like women, so I'm confused as to why you think you may be asexual.  You indicate you don't a relationship.  If you're interested in sex with women, but not dating women, maybe you're heterosexual and aromantic?

 

A lot of older men are only attracted to young women.  And a lot of people get nervous when having sex, especially if they're seeing a professional.

 

If you would actually like to be a woman, you may be transgender. If you just enjoy imagining you're a woman, I wonder if perhaps you may enjoy cross-dressing or sissy play.

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CirothUngol
13 hours ago, carl_44 said:

I have a doubt, am I  asexual if I like women,  but only young and pretty arouse me (19-24 years old)?

Please let us keep a perspective on exactly what asexuality is. If you find that you are sexually attracted to other people, any other people, then you are not strictly asexual. As for the other stuff, perhaps. Asking a small group of random strangers about personality disorders on the Internet is never the best way to get sufficient answers. If you are uncomfortable or disturbed by your own thoughts or actions, then seeking professional counseling or therapy is probably your best course of action.

 

Please don't trust us, we might not know what we're talking about! ^_^

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carl_44
19 hours ago, Claire1983 said:

I don't know, but if you think you have a personality disorder you should consult a qualified mental health professional.

ok. thanks all; In the past I have gone  to  therapy;  I went because I felt unmotivated; tired and kind of sad.

 

1st  therapist it was when I was 23 years old;  it seems therapist just want money, I did not learn a  lot ( approx.. 6 sessions)

2nd therapist, she helped me writing some notes for things that I have done to people; but she gave me pills and did not help (approx.. 7 sessions)

3rd therapist, just talk did not help (4 or 5 sessions).

 

I was 29 years old; and my aunt send to a  kind of spiritual retirement (3 days),  but it was like A&E TV show shock therapy but it help me a lot I started  to feel motivated again.

watching a TV show on Discovery, I found that something could be wrong whit my blood sugar levels; so I went with several doctors, many told me I was fine, so I decided to go with an endocrinologist and he help me a lot, he gave some pills to keep the blood sugar stable.

 

4th therapist (5 sesions),  helped to me to want to work; now thinking her method is like Buddhism ; if you wan to to do something do it, if you don't want to do something do not do it; but think about  consequences and take the responsibility of this consequences.

 

6 therapist; I went because sometimes I didn’t have erection with the pros (prostitutes) due to nervous, anxious; fear and things like that. I went 2 sessions didn't help, it was like hypnotherapy.

 

So when I was 40 I decided take the short way and took the blue pill. It works but like I said  I force myself to go with pros (3 or 4 times per year) I don't like at all.

 

How you can see, it’s hard to find a good therapist, my 4th therapist is pretty far that I can not go with her.

 

Other point; when you go to therapy they ask you what you expect and I don’t have idea what expect or what I want, is pretty confuse all this sex stuff.

 

Maybe in the future I’ll look for more therapy.

 

The good thing is that I am still working ...

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carl_44

ok. I am trying to understand this about asexual people, it seems I am not asexual  it is just a symptom of my probably schizoid disorder (see symptoms Wikipedia).

 

So I think there  are people that thinks is asexual but it is just a symptom. So now for me is hard understand asexuality like a whole, must be something behind.

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element83

 

There are a lot of things that it could be, not just schizoid personality disorder, or asexuality.  I'm inclined to agree that you're likely not asexual, since you are attracted to young, pretty women.  Also, you indicate that your lack of sexual performance with professionals is due to fear and anxiety, rather than lack of interest (and your lack of enjoyment seems to also be due to that nervousness and anxiety as well).  But that also doesn't mean you have a personality disorder.  They're complex and affect a lot more areas of life than just sex and relationships.

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carl_44

ok. answering myself and using the words of EVEN in Wikipedia:

 

"If at any point someone finds the word asexual useful to describe themselves, we encourage them to use it for as long as it makes sense to do so"

 

I will be considering myself like asexual.

 

Because it explains some behaviours that I have; why should be competitive if I don't want to impress a possible sexual partner; why should I be sociable if I don't look for sex;  and many other behaviours that a normal person have because sex.

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carl_44
1 hour ago, element83 said:

 

There are a lot of things that it could be, not just schizoid personality disorder, or asexuality.  I'm inclined to agree that you're likely not asexual, since you are attracted to young, pretty women.  Also, you indicate that your lack of sexual performance with professionals is due to fear and anxiety, rather than lack of interest (and your lack of enjoyment seems to also be due to that nervousness and anxiety as well).  But that also doesn't mean you have a personality disorder.  They're complex and affect a lot more areas of life than just sex and relationships.

thanks element83:

 

Agree with not just schizoid could be the root.

About young and pretty woman, I like them the way that I like  a BMW or Mercedez car, I like their beauty just that (asexual people don't see beauty?)

with pros I force myself to go with them, I think I try to be normal like  "normal" people are, besides my co-workers talk about sex and I don't want to look like a moron.

yeah is complex.

 

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