ace-potato

Am I too young to know whether I'm asexual or not?

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ace-potato

Hello Humans.

 

I'm 16 years old and at the moment I feel 100% asexual. My parents says that soon I feel sexual attraction towards people too, but I don't think so.

Everyone around me began feeling sexual attraction then they were around 12, and did sexual stuff and all that, but I don't want to do anything sexual. it may be too soon to say that I'm asexual, but I don't think I'll ever will be like the others. Maybe then I get older I'll find out I'm demisexual or something, but at the moment I'm asexual, and I'm not demi now (I had a boyfriend not long ago and felt no sexual attraction towards him, so I think I'm not demisexual and I did not do anything sexual with him at all).

 

For me it doesn't feel early to say that I'm asexual, since everyone around is like really into sex, but maybe it is, I don't know. tell me what you think, it may not change that I call myself asexual, but I want to know what you think.

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TheAP

Not necessarily. If you think you are asexual, feel free to identify as such. If your feelings change in the future, that's fine too.

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fruoup

just do it say it say you’re asexulo i dont even care

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ElisaWalker

I'm only 19 and I discovered the term asexual not too long after my eighteenth birthday, but if I'd have heard of it at 16 I definitely would have identified as it then. Identity is constantly changing, but if you identify as asexual you're asexual. 

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The Sad Ghost

I have just found out that I'm probably asexual and I'm 18. I had a crush on a boy when I was 16 and still going strong :))))) I have never had sexual or romantic desires against him. I just wanted to be close friends. So I don't think you are too young.

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hejsandra

hi! i'm also sixteen, and sometimes i too feel like maybe it's too early to identify as ace, but at the same time everyone around me my age experience sexual attraction. i feel like no one actually talks about all this "late bloomer" and "you'll be attracted to someone eventually" until you say you're ace. i know a lot of people thinks it's weird when i show clear disinterest in boys - when i was 14 or something a friend already said i might be asexual, but he said it kinda like an insult so i just didn't consider it a thing i could actually be - and other friends have asked if i'm gay, ace or what's my deal. i also overheard another boy in my year get told by two girls that he had to answer questions about what he preferred in girls or he was gay, and then they also said he might be asexual (the guy just seemed uncomfortable). idk, for me it doesn't feel that weird to not experience sexual attraction, but other people seem to take notice very quickly if you don't.

 

i think it's fair to identify as asexual when people around you are having sexual thoughts, and especially when they expect that you'll also have them. there's really no shame in changing later and realising you weren't asexual, because the label still served it's purpose when you weren't experiencing sexual attraction. still, i think the idea that i might one day change is the thing that keeps me from telling people i'm ace and also fully accepting that identity, which is a bit sad since perhaps i should do both those things.

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Madao

I have same feelings like you too. My mom tells me that maybe I am like that because I haven't found the 'right one' and that makes me doubt myself. My advice is, that if you feel you are an asexual, you are. If you feel comfortable with that label, accept it. Don't let others teach you what you are, because you know the best about yourself right? No one is going to judge if your identity changes afterwards. 

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MichaelTannock

I realised that I'm Asexual at 14, I'm now 33 and still haven't experienced sexual attraction.

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oldsoulvocalist

I first identified myself as someone on the asexual spectrum as young as 14 or 15, and after getting criticism and backlash, I thought that I might not be. I went through the next few years of my life going in and out of relationships, having sex, and eventually realizing I didn't enjoy it very much outside of the sensual and romantic aspects. I'm 20 now, and while I don't regret having those experiences, I feel like it would've saved me quite a bit of time if I just stuck with my convictions or just allowed myself to feel valid as I identified. Not to say that my preferences haven't changed and I haven't changed, and not saying that yours won't. I'm mainly saying that what you're feeling now is what you know and it's valid. You don't need to be true to your future or your past or anyone or anything other than yourself and what you feel comfortable identifying with now. And there's a good chance that you'll feel similarly going into the future.

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Cee Fox

I've only identified as asexual for a few months now and sometimes I get that feeling, but I find just using the label helps a lot. Continuously telling myself I'm asexual made it a lot easier to accept the label and it made it feel all the more right, so if it feels right to you right now, use it. I am keeping an open mind though; I'm well aware of the 'late bloomer argument and it's possible that maybe I am? Maybe you are too? But I feel comfortable embracing the label for the moment and if it changes, it changes... If that makes any sense.

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dragon_nerd

I sorta identified as asexual when I was 16 (I actually figured it out at 15 but actively tried to be straight for 2 years, surprise, surprise it didn't work). In general I tend to believe that once you are old enough to think to ask yourself the question: am I straight? that is when you can start identifying as asexual. Obviously this is a different age for everyone. So, yeh. I hope this ramble helps.

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hejsandra
14 minutes ago, dragon_nerd said:

I sorta identified as asexual when I was 16 (I actually figured it out at 15 but actively tried to be straight for 2 years, surprise, surprise it didn't work).

yeah, i find myself doing this too. it's kinda good to hear people in this thread talk about how they've known from a young age and also how suppressing it doesn't work. sometimes my brain just goes on mean/scared tangents about how i'm not really asexual and even if i am i have to repress that. i don't actually want to try to be straight, and hearing people say that didn't work for them anyways makes me feel like i don't have to (which i don't!)

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Aroace_bookworm

I have a friend who figured out she was asexual when she was 13, and is now 18, and hasn't 'changed' her sexuality since. She was the one who helped me figure out my sexuality too.

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uhtred

No one is too young to identify as asexual but no one is too old to change that identification if their feelings change. 

 

At age 16 it is not unlikely that your feelings are still changing, but also they might not. 

 

 

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The Angel of Eternity
On 5/17/2018 at 12:38 PM, Madao said:

My mom tells me that maybe I am like that because I haven't found the 'right one' and that makes me doubt myself.

The exact same thing happened to me with my mom and grandparents back in March. It was really annoying. I believe I even made my own thread off of that!

 

 

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Karoushi

People are going to keep telling you that 'you'll find some soon' and 'you'll never know for sure' no matter how old you get. 16 is an okay age to guess at what sexuality you feel like you identify as because people are starting to have those experiences at that age. I kept second guessing myself for years because I was always under the impression that I was 'too young' to know what my sexuality would be as I was feeling conflicted as to why I'm not feeling these sexual urges like my peers. Meanwhile some of my friends are coming to terms with being gay. Your feelings are valid and if you feel that the asexual label best describes you, then roll with it.

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anisotropic

If you feel it, ya feel it - if you don't, you don't.

 

I didn't feel anything until 18. Others never feel it. Do *not* push yourself to do things just to test it! You are what you are now. It's a description, not a commitment, and you should you never feel any pressure to change it. :)

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CBC

Theoretically not, but it's statistically far more likely that your sexuality is just developing at a pace or in a way that's different from that of the people you're comparing yourself to. Could you be asexual? Sure. Is it a little early to say for certain? Honestly, in my opinion, based off my own experiences and those of others that I've heard, yes.

 

Also, you might want to look up the definition of 'perverted'. I very much doubt that your peers are all perverted.

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amat96

I wish I knew about asexuality at 16, it took me until now when I'm 21 to find out that it's a thing. While you could change (just like anyone could) I personally think that you would probably know by 16, if you feel like you're ace there's nothing wrong in identifying as it.

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