The Sad Ghost

Is this sexual attraction? (little TMI)

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The Sad Ghost

I don’t understand this and I didn’t found about it on the internet. It’s like my body is... sexual and I’m not, eh.

Okay, so every time I have had a crush I have not gotten any sexual or romantic desires, even though they have been in my personal space area. But nowadays when I’m near my friends and others that I don’t have a crush on, like they are in the personal space area, I get this funny feeling. I would define it as a... weak sexual feeling or something, but nothing I would ever want to act out! It’s more like a feeling of being very aware on how close the person is to me and the thought that I could just randomly kiss this person. It’s not an attraction toward this specific person, it’s just the thought of it. Both girls and boys. I can’t really explain it but it’s disturbs me. So I’m not sure what’s happening and if it affects the possibility of me being in the asexual spectrum.

Also, TMI warning, masturbating. I hate it, it’s not fireworks for me and if I got to choose I would never do it, but it’s like me body wants it, especially before my period. And if I would for some reason want to masturbate, my body doesn’t want to. I don’t understand this, is it common with asexuals?

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Telecaster68

The random kissing impulse? Not common, but I know what you mean. It's almost like that weird impulse to jump off the edge of something tall - you know you could, but you won't. I don't think it's particularly to do with sexual orientation, just a kind of passing transient awareness of something that could be done.

 

ETA: Although - I suspect it just wouldn't occur to a lot of asexuals, as they have no sexual feelings towards anyone.

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Seebaru

I think the best would be to think over it and find out what do these sensations mean to you for yourself-- it might take a very long time, but in my opinion it's still better than having someone else tell you what are you feeling. I can still give you my two cents, but I suggest you considering them more like possibilities than The Truth™.

 

1. As far as I know, your own thoughts are not supposed to be disturbing to yourself, so they are most probably intrusive thoughts. Just as Telecaster68 said, it's the same kind of thoughts as when you're on the edge of a cliff and you suddenly think of jumping off, or when you are holding a baby and you think of dropping it. These are not things you actually want to do, and I'm pretty sure almost all humans experience them. Just let them go without focusing on them more than necessary.

2. This is a useful link that might solve some doubts: many asexuals can still have a libido despite not feeling sexually attracted to anyone. So yeah, asexuals can masturbate, have orgasms, have sex, even enjoy sex, while still not feeling sexual attraction.

Hope this helps!

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clovergirl

Disturbing intrusive thoughts is called pure OCD, or Pure O. It really is awful when your brain gets stuck on a disturbing thought and it just keeps replaying in your head. It's confusing, anxiety inducing, scary because you feel like your thoughts are in control of you and define you. My brain use to get stuck on thoughts that included self harm and harming others, I've never hurt myself or others, I'm not a violent person, I'm actually quite empathetic of people. 

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AmeliaMichelle

maybe just that type of impulsive thought has attributed to a lot of sexual interactions with people who aren't actually that interested in it. it's more the daring or the sense of resolve or the want to get to or at something, maybe. push to the end for not wanting to at all, sort of thing.

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Ardoise

Your body's reactions to things don't have to control you. A craving to eat the entire cake doesn't mean that you can or should try to do so.

 

Most people have fleeting desires that they would never actually act on. For example, I live in a region with a lot of cliffs. Do I think about jumping off them? Yes. Would I ever do so in real life? Absolutely not.

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