FallenAngel9799

Thinking of having sex and romance with as many women as possible to prove myself

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FallenAngel9799

I'm a gray demisexual who, after some fapping, got into trouble with the label/descriptor that I applied to myself. I'm now thinking that, when I do get to Manila for my college years, I could as well try and have sex as many times as I could and get into romantic relationships as many times as I could, just to prove or disprove to myself and others my sexuality.

 

I'm thinking this could be toxic and end up hurting me - I need some guidance.

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member1246

Okay, here's some guidance: don't do that, it's a dumb idea.

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Puck

If you think it would be toxic and end up hurting you, then why do it?

 

Just make a different choice

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rudolph the timewarp

Don't forget to inform yourself properly about STDs. You will need that.

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Telecaster68
15 minutes ago, FallenAngel9799 said:

I'm thinking this could be toxic and end up hurting me - I need some guidance.

Whether you hurt yourself is up to you, but you'll probably end up hurting lots of other people too,  just for the sake of your self-experimenting. That isn't good behaviour.

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Homer

The proper description of this kind of behaviour would violate ToS.

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Biblioromantic

The whole point of being gray and demi is that you're LESS sexually attracted to people. Why not just be honest about that and only behave sexually when you're attracted to that particular person? Is it worth it to you to be known as a manwh*** to your peers, not to mention the possibility of STIs and pregnancy? And what about all the girls' emotions and expectations? If they do have them, you're hurting them, and if they don't, you're being used. How is that healthy for you or for them?

 

Dumb idea. Just don't do it. SMH

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FallenAngel9799
4 minutes ago, Biblioromantic said:

Is it worth it to you to be known as a manwh*** to your peers, not to mention the possibility of STIs and pregnancy?

I don't like being known as a manwh***, a promiscuous man. I know the possibility of STIs and pregnancy. What I want to know is if I really am grey demisexual, or I am just fooling myself. I guess the only way to know this is the hard way: to have as much sex as possible, see how I feel before, during, and after the sexual encounter.

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Telecaster68
2 minutes ago, FallenAngel9799 said:

I don't like being known as a manwh***, a promiscuous man. I know the possibility of STIs and pregnancy. What I want to know is if I really am grey demisexual, or I am just fooling myself. I guess the only way to know this is the hard way: to have as much sex as possible, see how I feel before, during, and after the sexual encounter.

Bad luck, because if you do what you're planning, you'll be promiscuous and people will think that about you. You can be as solipsistic and self involved as you like, but at the point it starts hurting other people, you're behaving badly.

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rudolph the timewarp

If you're really demisexual, you should find the whole idea absurd yourself. Could it be that you are just a horny sexual who is looking for an excuse to do it like a rabbit? Honestly, think about it.

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member1246

There's absolutely no logical reason you have to behave that way in order to figure out your sexuality. Just have sex when you genuinely want to and not when you don't and forget about the dumb labels.

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FallenAngel9799
9 minutes ago, timewarp said:

If you're really demisexual, you should find the whole idea absurd yourself. Could it be that you are just a horny sexual who is looking for an excuse to do it like a rabbit? Honestly, think about it.

I've always been abhorred by casual sex, and deep romantic attachment is a prerequisite to sex for me, but if frequent casual sex is the only way to know if I really am a grey demisexual, then...be it I guess?

 

7 minutes ago, CBC said:

There's absolutely no logical reason you have to behave that way in order to figure out your sexuality. Just have sex when you genuinely want to and not when you don't and forget about the dumb labels.

As said, I've always abhorred casual sex - like, you know, meetup, then f*ck within the next few hours or days. Though, I somehow feel like engaging in sexual and romantic horseplay is the best way for me to confirm - or disprove - this label/descriptor I have given myself, even if it may cost me something.

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member1246

Another way is by following your own feelings on when to have sex and when not to. Do not do something you already think may cost you. You may not know the degree it'll cost you until you've put yourself through it. I don't get what's so difficult about just following your genuine sexual desires.

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rudolph the timewarp
12 minutes ago, FallenAngel9799 said:

I've always been abhorred by casual sex, and deep romantic attachment is a prerequisite to sex for me, but if frequent casual sex is the only way to know if I really am a grey demisexual, then...be it I guess?

First, to be clear: I don't think there's anything wrong with casual sex. Just be honest with yourself, and be responsible and respectful with your sexual encounters.

 

But why would you do something you don't like (or even abhor as you put it)? See, I tried to get into sexual relationships before I knew I'm asexual. It didn't work out, so I learned it the hard way. Believe me, it was not pleasant.

 

Now according to your logic I would still need to have some gay sex, just to make sure I'm not gay. But I won't, because I don't want sex, it's as simple as that.

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Telecaster68

 

Quote

 

 even if it may cost me something.

 


 

Honestly, I couldn't give a toss about you, just as you clearly have not a single thought about the other people you're going to be experimenting on.
 
Here's simple question: do you recognise that there are other people involved in your 'experiment'?
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sea-lemon
45 minutes ago, FallenAngel9799 said:

if frequent casual sex is the only way to know if I really am a grey demisexual, then...be it I guess?

If you don't like the idea of casual sex, all that's going to achieve is making you and the people you end up dragging into this mess miserable. If deep romantic attachment is necessary for you, then look for that instead.

 

1 hour ago, FallenAngel9799 said:

I need some guidance

Literally everyone in the thread has given you the guidance of "don't do that it's a terrible idea", so I'm not sure what more you want.

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Thea2
1 hour ago, Telecaster68 said:

 

... Here's simple question: do you recognise that there are other people involved in your 'experiment'?

This.

 

I find it impossible to sympathize with any person that puts a label above the feelings of real people.

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Homer

Easy solution: Drop the "label".

 

Pros:

- no need to "prove" anything to anyone

- no need to engage in activities you openly despise

- no need to explain a "label" that the vast majority of people won't have heard of anyway

- nobody else gets hurt

- saves time, money and effort

- saves your image as not being promiscuous

 

Cons:

- ?????

 

I know what I would do.

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Thea2

^^ Exactly.

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fiѕh

sounds like a really dumb idea

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Nowhere Girl
2 hours ago, FallenAngel9799 said:

I've always been abhorred by casual sex, and deep romantic attachment is a prerequisite to sex for me, but if frequent casual sex is the only way to know if I really am a grey demisexual, then...be it I guess?

No. Because it is wrong.

Well, at least I think so. My opinion has been controversial here, but I still believe that casual sex is wrong. Sorry if it's judgemental, but I can't feel otherwise, I believe that some form of deeper emotional commitment should be a prerequisite for sex. And if it isn't found - no, sorry, have people never heard of the very idea that you could want to do something and not do it anyway?

For example, I may want to have something, but have too little money to comfortably afford it. I won't steal it because it's wrong.

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Masterman

You say you abhor it, but you want to do it anyway?

 

Like everyone else, I think this is an abysmal idea.

 

I wonder if you don't simply want to do this and don't abhor it at all.

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Antihero.

latest?cb=20150707134515

 

 

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Puck
15 hours ago, FallenAngel9799 said:

As said, I've always abhorred casual sex - like, you know, meetup, then f*ck within the next few hours or days. Though, I somehow feel like engaging in sexual and romantic horseplay is the best way for me to confirm - or disprove - this label/descriptor I have given myself, even if it may cost me something.

Why in the world is that the best way?

 

If you want, give it a go once, but you don't have to do it a bunch.

 

If you want to know if you like chicken nuggets, you can eat one chicken nugget and know. You don't have to eat an entire buffet of chicken nuggets. It's also fully acceptable to consider the nugget, smell it, not taste it but know it's not for you.

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JDP

If you're honest about your intentions, you won't be hurting your partners. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you found the perfect companion, in the process.

 

The comments in this thread are really judgmental. Is there a double-standard, here?

 

 

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Telecaster68

OP hasn't really mentioned his partners. He just seems interested in experimenting with his label using other people. 

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JDP
19 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

OP hasn't really mentioned his partners. He just seems interested in experimenting with his label using other people. 

His logic, however, is sound. If sexual identity is that important (whether or not it should be), how else is an inexperienced young person to learn one way or the other?

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Homer
5 minutes ago, JDP said:

His logic, however, is sound.

"There's this activity I abhor, so I'm gonna do just that as much as I can despite being fully aware that it could hurt me. This is to justify some label or other."

 

100% sound.

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JDP
18 minutes ago, Homer said:

"There's this activity I abhor, so I'm gonna do just that as much as I can despite being fully aware that it could hurt me. This is to justify some label or other."

 

100% sound.

All sexual activity causes pain at one time or another. If a young person's goal is sexual authenticity and identity, what other way is there?

 

Than again, the original poster may not be seriously interested in his identity at all. This is just another Internet forum, after all.

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Homer
Just now, JDP said:

what other way is there?

Not doing something I obviously hate seems like a good way to me.

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