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Karoushi

Large Amount of Sensual Attraction? What do?

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Karoushi

Okay so for the last few months I've been having these ups and downs when it came to feeling a good deal of sensual attraction, mostly towards other girls. I really just want a cuddle buddy with occasional kisses here and there but it doesn't help that I've only been at uni for a year and I still haven't made any friends, most acquaintances who I don't talk to/know well enough to just initial any type of physical contact. And most would take that as wanting to be in a romanic relationship or something but that's kinda hard to explain to someone who isn't familiar with what a queer platonic relationship is. I could just be super touch starved because it's just been plaguing my thoughts so often these days and I don't know what to do about it. It also doesn't help that I come of as a bit stoic/not the touchy type so??? 

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Miss A
On 5/16/2018 at 8:39 PM, Karoushi said:

Okay so for the last few months I've been having these ups and downs when it came to feeling a good deal of sensual attraction, mostly towards other girls. I really just want a cuddle buddy with occasional kisses here and there but it doesn't help that I've only been at uni for a year and I still haven't made any friends, most acquaintances who I don't talk to/know well enough to just initial any type of physical contact. And most would take that as wanting to be in a romanic relationship or something but that's kinda hard to explain to someone who isn't familiar with what a queer platonic relationship is. I could just be super touch starved because it's just been plaguing my thoughts so often these days and I don't know what to do about it. It also doesn't help that I come of as a bit stoic/not the touchy type so??? 

I'm sorry you are feeling touch deprived. I have a massage therapist acquaintance (in his 70s) who says it's a horrible problem in modern society. So it's not just us.

I also am with you, on the strong female vibe acting like invisible armor.  I'm slightly twitchy when touched unexpectedly, and because I am not super girly, I feel like I get put in some sort of weird untouchable/hologram /statue category of interaction. I also have the slow-to-make-friends issue.

So ok, maybe some solutions... If you are at University, you probably have some sort of low cost massage school/program nearby. It is completely reasonable to request gender/age/touch firmness that feels safe/good to you. I'd say try some (probably standard style, initially) massage, until your brain goes from touch starved to touch hungry. In the mean time, maybe keep looking for compatible people.

Sometimes the gay/kink communities are pretty good about sensation without sex. I once told everyone at my regular dance night that I was making a policy of hello and goodbye hugs from everyone willing.  Only 2 people out of about 40 said "no thanks" and now they do it automatically.  Also, groups that include older generations (probably 65+) were raised with more social touch (pats, hand touches, shoulder grasps, etc) and would probably enjoy more social interactions that included touch.

If that's not your cup of tea, maybe try sensation without people. Like pet shelter, fabric store, swimming, being outdoors, etc.

I hope that's some help. The kissing part is pretty hard to arrange without a ton of concrete conversation. I think not being desperate for touch can help us radiate a more appealing aura or level of muscular tension. Which can lead to better touch interactions. I wish you good luck (please wish me well, too).

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