Advice for a youngin'?

[Elle Vera]

Hello everyone,

 

I am very new to this all, but here's my story and question.

 

I am f/27/sexual and my boyfriend of three years (also 27) and I recently 'found out' together that he is(/might be?) asexual.

Of course in the past the behaviour related to this has hurt my feelings a lot (I assumed he found me unattractive) but I have never doubted his love for me and my love for him.

 

After the 'revelation' I was so torn up. I thought I had found a partner for life, and sex is important to me. I thought about leaving him, even.

It didn't take me long to come to the conclusion that I truly, deeply love this boy and I would not leave him because of this. He is my very best friend and I feel so safe with him.

 

Now I would love to hear from sexuals in a relationship with an asexual and how to make this work, we have already initiated contact with a therapist, but I'd love some advice from people who experience this themselves.

 

Note that having sex with another guy (even with permission from my boyfriend) would not be an option for me.

 

Thank you for reading

 

-L

 

 

[NickyTannock]

Welcome to AVEN!

 

I've never been in any relationships, and I'm Asexual, so I can't give you any direct advice.

 

However, this page on the AVEN Wiki might be of help to you. https://www.asexuality.org/?q=relationship.html#gq2

 

[Telecaster68]

If you haven't already, have a read of some of the many threads from sexual partners of asexuals in this section - it sounds like a lot of it might apply to you too.

[iff]

Welcome Elle Vera

hopefully the forum can help you

 

[uhtred]

For many people a good sex life is absolutely essential for happiness.  I strongly advise sexual and asexual people staying in romantic relationships.  This from 30 years of trying very hard and failing to make this work.