Aroace_bookworm

Misconceptions about ace/aro people

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Aroace_bookworm

Being closeted ace/aro, I've heard many misconceptions about asexuality, and aromanticity ( I think that's what it's called...) and everything in between. Sometimes they're funny, but sometimes, they can make me want to tear my hair out.  

I've heard a group of teenage boys talking about it:

 

Boy 1: Asexual is when you don't like anyone, right?

Boy 2: No, it's when you don't have a gender!

Boy 1: Oh yeah! I get it!

 

Or by one of my friends, explaining to another

 

 Asexual is when you're not sexually attracted to anyone. You can still like people, just not want to do it with anyone. Aromantic is when you don't like anyone sexually or romantically. 

 

And since I'm not ready to come out yet, I don't want to correct  them because questions will be asked, so.....

Anyone else got any funny/interesting misconceptions about asexuality?

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Norellia

I don't really think this is necessarily a funny misconception, cause it hurt my feelings the way it was delivered but here is one.

 

My brother: what is the use of asexual characters in tv shows or movies when they can't experience romance or sex?

Me: asexuals can still experience romantic attraction and have sex.

My brother: So what is the point of asexuality?!

 

Basically he misinterpreted asexuality with aromanticism and assumed like most people that asexual = celibacy. This conversation started when we were talking about lgbt erasure in media and I brought up the riverdale erasure of an asexual character. He didn't think it was an erasure, because he doesn't think asexuality is an orientation. 

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Aroace_bookworm
7 hours ago, Norellia said:

 

Basically he misinterpreted asexuality with aromanticism and assumed like most people that asexual = celibacy. This conversation started when we were talking about lgbt erasure in media and I brought up the riverdale erasure of an asexual character. He didn't think it was an erasure, because he doesn't think asexuality is an orientation. 

I hate when people think/believe that

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Tuple

Some time ago at work I was in a meeting. A co-working presented a diagram showing the sequence of events in a work process. The diagram had some generic clip art people in it. My co-working mentioned something about "I've put in some asexual people." I'm not out to anyone at I work so I had to restrain myself from jumping up and saying "No! No! No! The people are agender." But instead I sat there cringing silently and feeling upset that people out there still don't know what asexuality is (or agender for that matter).

 

There have been other things too over the years. I've been told to get my hormones checked, asked if I was abused as a kid, and other things that are on ace bingo cards.

 

* deep sigh *

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Suigin

Someone told me I must be an alien if I don't experience any romantic or sexual attraction -_- Also that I don't have any feelings if I don't get crushes

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All The Thoughts

These stories...my heart is out for you all. Being such a minor group, it really does stink how many misconceptions there are about us and how they don’t usually end up getting corrected, which leads to a whole mess on its own. We really need more awareness but that’s difficult to achieve and many (including myself) still don’t feel comfortable putting ourselves out there for such a thing. I really hope it does get better, for everyone.

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Karoushi

when people equate asexuality with being innocent. What does my mindset/personality have to do with my sexuality? 

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Ardoise

I suspect that most "unusual identities" have this sort of problem.

Some days, it feels like being the only representative of your species on the starship.

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Bronztrooper

The assumption that asexuals don't watch porn is one I've heard.

 

When I saw Deadpool in the movies with my sister and my dad, when it got to the strip club scene, my sister covered her eyes while I just kept watching.  Then I heard my sister ask me why I didn't cover my eyes/look away, to which I told her that it doesn't bother me.  I think my sister assumed that asexuality = sex-repulsed, but she doesn't really know a lot about asexuality to begin with so I let it go.  I've tried to encourage her to look into the subject (even made sure to explain to her that asexuality is a spectrum), but I don't think she's gotten around to it.  Still, she's never really talked about it unless I brought it up and hasn't made any jokes about me not being in a relationship so really, I can handle a few misconceptions from her so long as she's willing understand more about it to forget those misconceptions.

 

Also had a big of an discussument (discussion/argument) with a friend of mine who was having issues understanding that arousal =/= attraction and the assumption that asexuals inherently don't have sex.  She wasn't really trying to be offensive or anything, it was more than she was confused about how asexuals could have sex without attraction and also thought that asexuality was synonymous with being non-libidoist.  The rest of my friends tried to help me explain the subject, which was nice.

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