What are some key points in the discussion of gray-asexuality?

[Strega_Asessuale]

I am a fledgling YouTuber with an educational video series on asexuality. (Intro video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmd1i15xkwM) I'm not gray-A, but I would like to make a video on gray-asexuality and the ace spectrum. What are some key points that I should cover in my video?

 

[InariYana]

This is going to be a tricky one... I can only imagine grays are a massively varied group.

 

So some experience sexual attraction very rarely (including me)... but what does that mean? How rare is "rare"? In my case I can count instances of sexual attraction on one hand, really, in decades of adult life. Decades of mixing and mingling with all sorts of people, some really good-looking from aesthetic perspective. That's gotta be classed as rare. 

You'll get other grays that experience sexual attraction only under specific circumstances. What kind of circumstances? I'd love to know more about this sub-group of gray-A! Some will experience sexual attraction on occasion but will not want to engage in sex. Why? 

For another group sexual attraction will lack intensity and be rather transient and weak.

 

All that plus the usual - some will be romantic, some aromantic. Some sex-positive, some sex-indifferent, some repulsed (and more options here).

Please post the link when it's all finished!   

 

      

[roland.o]

Incompatibility with possible partners. Not unlike asexuals in that respect.

 

Maybe this older discussion gives you some ideas?

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/162198-please-let-us-establish-a-strong-definition-for-greysexuality/

 

[TickTalk]

If you cover it I'd say map out how greys strongly differ from one another and there are a ton of subdefinitions inside Grey A that people may choose to identify with to give a more accurate scope of where they fall into that spectrum. For key points I'll do bullet dashes to not end up slamming you with an essay.

-Map out the spectrum covering aromantics to romantics then from sexual to fully asexual. (For this to keep it brief unless you want to dive in. I'd say "Some only feel sexual attraction in specific instances and let all the subcategories be outside of that huge rabbit hole because people have grouped with each otherbased on their specific conditions. (Demi/Fray etc) )

-A lot of Grey A's are capable of having sex and possibly enjoying it (But not all) and understanding it as a tertiary need to the person they engage with or want to give them that experience.

-Just because a Grey A has sex doesn't mean they're sexually attracted. I'd say painting a clear difference from Sexuality and Libido are really important. Just because a Grey A decides to have sex with someone there are many reasons for that outside of sexual attraction (Curiousity, A tertiary need, Social expectation, Pressure from relationships.) A grey A who engages sexually very infrequently with a high libido probably masturbates a lot and most likely prefers it to engaging in sex with a person.

-Just because there was sex with attraction doesn't mean this person will now be more sexual. A lot of people are going to look at Grey A's like "They did it and they were super into it so why can't they again?" When they truly don't understand the reason they're identifying this way is to help bridge that their sexual attraction to others is conditional, extremely infrequent or solely for the other party.

-If you're in a relationship with a Grey A, talking to them and understanding what they're like is crucial. Communication is going to be more useful for navigating a relationship with them than any amount of reading will. Don't approach them as being broken in need of being fixed. Don't convince yourself that you're going to sexually awaken them. Just listen and understand where things do work and don't work with them. (This last point just seems like a general thing that you'll find in any asexual based information video but I didn't want to leave it out.)