manicmanner

Physical stimulation or sexual attraction? (BDSM involved)

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manicmanner

This is a bit much, maybe, so I apologize in advance.

 

I identify as a bottom-leaning switch with submissive tendencies. My best friend jokes that I'm BDSM-sexual as outside of a D/s dynamic I have no interest in sexual activities, and even then I'm not necessarily attracted to the person I'm with as much as I'm attracted to the power exchange element. I like being forced to do things, and sex for me can be negotiated as one of those activities (except for any sort of penetration as my body has a difficult time getting aroused enough for that sort of thing.)

 

I've done a variety of different play (with friends, mostly) for about three years and I've enjoyed the mental and physical elements of most of the scenes I've done. But recently I played with a friend and found that through some impact play I got turned on. I don't want to sleep with the friend I played with, but I don't know.

 

I generally have a low libido (unless I'm experiencing a manic episode) and haven't experienced sexual attraction to people, I think. I'm not sure what that feels like, but I've never been like, man, I really find that person attractive and want to do sexual things with them. I tend to be romantically attracted to dominant personalities, though, and I guess I'm panicky about the possibility of being sexually attracted to my friend because of the dominance thing? Was it because of the physical stimulation from the form of play? Does that undermine my identity as asexual or does that under the category of gray-ace?

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Orianaro

That's totally under grey-ace! Grey ace can be an umbrella "somewhere on the spectrum" but it can also mean rare, or infrequent sexual attraction. So if you actually do sexually like this guy, that's still grey ace, but its up to you what grey ace means to you. It's probably the most flexible ace spectrum term there is.

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Salmiakki
6 hours ago, manicmanner said:

I tend to be romantically attracted to dominant personalities

Damn me too, definitely

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manicmanner
On 5/13/2018 at 10:17 PM, Orianaro said:

That's totally under grey-ace! Grey ace can be an umbrella "somewhere on the spectrum" but it can also mean rare, or infrequent sexual attraction. So if you actually do sexually like this guy, that's still grey ace, but its up to you what grey ace means to you. It's probably the most flexible ace spectrum term there is.

Thank you!

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manicmanner
On 5/14/2018 at 1:41 AM, Salmiakki said:

Damn me too, definitely

Right?

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Salmiakki
2 hours ago, manicmanner said:

Right?

Yeah for some reason I just find submissive men way less attractive  (I'm mostly romantically attracted to men)

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