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[Guest]

1 minute ago, Jade Cross said:

Its more accurate as you know who they really are instead of falling for a facade

Its essentially pushing a person, and if you guessed wrong (they were great people all along), you've just lost that person.

 

But like you said, you don't care about that so it shouldn't matter.

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Guest]

3 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

Frienships and romance are not the only areas where knowing how honest a person is can be useful to you.

Work, or professional relationships would likely be most important considering they are who you spend most of your life around, and can be responsible of where you find yourself down the road.

 

3 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

Cant lose someone who was never a part of your life  to begin with.

 

No you can't, but the relationship you have with them or choose not to, can affect it if we are talking professionally.

[Guest]

Forcing someone to anger to me, is about as useful as me constantly accusing my employees to see whether they are lying to me always forcing their backs against the wall.

 

It's unfair, and highly toxic.

 

I give everyone a clean slate. Up to the person to keep it clean, or to sully it.

 

Approaching everyone with the mentality that they already liars or useless, means you will never meet someone that meets your standards regardless of their relationship with you.

 

To me, forcing someone to always having to own up for things I am insecure about is a problem with me. Not them.

 

But back to the thread. Someone who is drunk, will be far more honest than someone who is angry.

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Guest]

1 hour ago, Jade Cross said:

My life situations would say otherwise

A woman who has a long history of being an abuse victim, may be under the impression all men are abusive. This is her reality (you can't take this away from her).

 

However, to go out and say it as being factual, couldn't be further from the truth. It also doesn't make her any less of a victim, but seeing her as a victim only, takes away from the fact that she picked each and every single man that she wound up with.

 

There is a certain point where repeating the same mistakes, stop being an honest mistake, and become a conscious choice one refuses to break.

 

1 hour ago, Jade Cross said:

Around here, your back is pressed againts the wall from day 1.

I hate to say it, but that's life for many. I could easily have become a shady, and deceitful type of person. This is the environment I grew up and was exposed to. You either held your own, or got beaten up and bullied.

 

These are choices. I made the choice, I'd never become a product of my environment.

 

1 hour ago, Jade Cross said:

It is possible though the person will have to surpass expectations.

Having unrealistic expectations, is how a person will keep disappointing themselves.

 

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Guest]

1 hour ago, Jade Cross said:

And yet you insist

I haven't insisted that people haven't encountered crap people in their lives. Only thing I'm insisting on, is not everyone reacts to it in the same way. Not everyone will react in a toxic way. Also, that doing the latter, is just that--toxic. Justifying it because of your experience, is a man justifying beating his wife, because his dad beat him.

 

I get a handful of people stealing from my business, and I'm not packing up and moving and giving up on what is earning me a living. I'm investing in HD CCTV cameras, motion sensors, lights, and making your life miserable in attempting to do so again, while not changing a thing about how or where I conduct business. Point being made.

 

In doing so, I'm not assuming everyone is a thief. I'm prepared for it, but am treating everyone like a colleague or customer, but my guards are up, in the event that they are. I'm not going to jeopardize my business, for a few bad apples.

 

Just them existing, and happening to be another human, isn't a reason to justify that judgment (or worse even, treatment). Point being made.

 

 

1 hour ago, Jade Cross said:

 9.9 out of 10 will fail.

With that attitude, might as well add that .1, and call it a day.

 

1 hour ago, Jade Cross said:

It does because she would no longer seek men out.

I'm confused. It does make her less of a victim? Or are we finally agreeing on something here, and misunderstanding my post? I'm preparing the confetti just in case.

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Guest]

23 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

the notion that you have to treat everyone as a thief is why you purchase a security system in the first place.

You'd have a better point, arguing about airport security.

 

Store security, is everyone is a customer until they act like a suspect (I've worked as a security guard, and know tons of police officers, and body guards).

 

Your mentality, has you acting like airport security. You couldn't care less, if they wanted to buy Halloween candy for their kids. They could be packing bombs. You're going through their bags, and patting them down. No chances taken. You're going out of their way, to let them know they are thieves. Even if they haven't stolen. They just are, stemming from them walking into your store. 

 

23 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Are you agreeing with me or just confused?

You've given up on people, and are giving to me, what sounded like an optimistic .1 percentile of a chance. My point was eluding to someone who truly had given up. Might as well throw in the towel in full and add the .1.

 

23 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

The way to eliminate the problem is to take out its source.

To eliminate the men, is to eliminate half of the source of the problem. He will always be abusive. That's part of his core. She was the one constantly picking them, however. There comes a point in behavioral patterns, where the person creating the pattern has to accept their level of responsibility. Doesn't mean she deserves to be beaten. Has to change their behavior, to stop attracting the men that will hurt her. This takes counseling, to understand the underlying issues.

 

To eliminate the problem, is to break the cycle.

 

The "I'm going to treat people like dirt, because I feel they're no different than garbage", is one perpetuating it.

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Guest]

Accusing someone you don't know of being a liar, or pushing someone to their anger to "suss" them out, is toxic. Its controlling behavior. Its based on your own projections and insecurities.

 

Anger is a horrible way of assessing a person's character. Its inaccurate. You're forcing their hand, by putting their backs against the wall. Treat the kindest person horribly, and you'll likely get a horrible person in return.

 

You can continue to run in circles. I'll give you the satisfaction of no longer adding to this thread.

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Shay21]

It really depends on the person, but I can definitely see your point. Something that is "accidentally" said when someone is angry means that they had probably already thought about it before and it was somewhere in their mind to begin with. You just don't say something completely random and out of nowhere because you lost control of your emotions, it has to be premeditated to some degree.

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Guest]

1 hour ago, Shay21 said:

Something that is "accidentally" said when someone is angry means that they had probably already thought about it before and it was somewhere in their mind to begin with.

Yes, but if you deliberately push the person to get mad to get to figure them out, isn't that like paying someone to flirt with your significant other to test their loyalty?

[Guest]

Deliberately pushing someone is no different than my narcissistic and toxic employee we used to have.

 

They justified their preemptive behavior based on the notion they believed everyone was horrible.

 

They treated them accordingly.

 

For every finger pointed, there were three more pointed at him.

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Guest]

You stated you deliberately seek anger in others to assess them. O_O

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Bronztrooper]

I can see both sides of this argument, but ultimately pushing someone to the point where they snap is cruel (I've been on the receiving end of the pushing throughout school and it took me years and several moves before I finally hit my snapping point) and I don't feel that people are always their truest self when angry.

 

You don't know what people are capable of until they're at their limit, true, but capable =/= willing.  I don't like fighting, yet when I'm angry I feel a need to hit something (as I've stated before).  It isn't I want to hurt people- I don't-, it's that I physically feel that I need to release my angry physically.  And before you ask, no, I never feel the urge to hit people and I actively avoid trying to hit anyone.  I'm also rather quiet and reserved most of the time, but when I'm pissed off, I get loud.  I don't like yelling at anyone, and yet that is what I do when I'm angry.

 

You don't know how people act when they're angry until you get them to that point, true, but you also don't know what their life has been like beforehand.  And besides, there's a reason why there are so many idioms that basically say not to piss off good/kind people.  I think that one of the things you should think about is how you would react if someone tried to push you to your emotional breaking point.

 

I don't have much faith in people, but I don't let that extend to individuals until I have definite proof.  Treating everyone as 'guilty until proven innocent' is not healthy in terms of relationships of any kind.  But then, as you've said, @Jade Cross, you're perfectly fine being on your own, and I can't fault you for that.  And I don't know your situation, so perhaps your mentality fits for where you are at this point.  I don't agree with it, but then, I'm not in your shoes.

[Yatogami]

On 5/1/2018 at 6:56 PM, Jade Cross said:

Been playing with this idea in my head for a while.

 

Now usually when someone lashes out, especially at close members, it tends to follow with a "I didnt mean it, I was just angry" 

 

However, similar to alcohol induced behavior, a person cannot say or do something that isnt already there. People may not admit it to others or even themselves but it exists in some corner of their mind. The reason they dont admit is because it woulnt be "nice" or "civilized" to engage in such behavior.

 

Thoughts?

 

 

Very interesting observation. Would you also say those who are brutally honest, and or honest with themselves are less likely to lash out or get angry? Same thing while intoxicated?

 

I consider myself rather straightforward and honest. I rarely get angry, and am relatively the same while intoxicated apart from more sociable.

 

 

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Guest]

4 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

That I will get kicked out of a job for doing so?

How highly unfair that it is, to someone who may mean you no harm.

 

I see it like me. Say I get cheated on in a relationship. Your take would have it justifiable to cheat on every woman you encounter from then on.

 

All women cheat anyways, right?

 

If you can't see the issue with approaching every woman you encounter as a matter of time prior to them cheating--I can't help you.

 

Trust is earned. Say I am working with you. How am I to earn your trust, when you have revoked any opportunity for me to do so from the start?

 

I get what you're saying, don't get me wrong. I just think it is unfair to the small percentile of good people, who have to walk on eggshells with you due to idiots who screwed you over. Punish the idiots.

 

I can see a shit person a mile away. Have dated a few bad apples. I know a woman I need to avoid, a mile away. I grew up around scammers, drug dealers, prostitution and manipulative people. I can spot a bullshitter very rapidly.

 

You give me bullshit or try to hustle me, I give you the business.

 

Why would I treat a good one like shit? Makes no sense to me.

 

You know how painfully hard good people are to find?! I find good people and I keep them in my life if possible O_O

 

To be honest, I think we are partially agreeing but miscommunicating on our points.

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Lord Jade Cross]

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[Epitaph]

Gonna cough out some more commentary here.

 

It's probably unwise to intentionally piss people off to see their reactions. Some people will tend to blow up and shout a lot of words on their mind, but you run the risk of angering outliers that don't do this. You really, really don't want to piss off these people. I knew a Bosnian cab driver. He saw the atrocities in the 90's down in Bosnia. This was a guy that didn't shout or scream or say anything if you pissed him off. You just ended up in the hospital. It was a switch with no sign whatsoever. Normal one moment, kill mode the next.

 

And I've met a lot more people out in the world that are like this. Not to the extent of that Bosnian, but close. There's a lot more of them out there than you'd figure. And you can't always tell who some of these people are. I can understand thinking that anger leads to a valid confession, but here's the deal. We all have various negative thoughts about people we encounter. We're all a bunch of walking critics by nature. Can't help that. What makes a difference is whether or not we actually say what we think.

 

Sometimes I'll have horrendously obese people come into my shop, and for a moment, I'll think, "God damn how'd you let yourself get that bad?" But I'm not going to say that as I know it would hurt their feelings. And at the same time that I have that thought, I'm looking for reasons to look at that person in another light beyond just the initial criticism. But if that person pissed me off enough, something about them being fat probably would slip out. But it's not the whole and only truth.

 

At the same time, let's say they were real friendly and helpful, always stand up kind of people. I'd do my best to repay the favor to them and in some manner I'd try to let them know that I appreciate the person they are. Get me pissed, I'll say what's on my mind. Make me happy, I'll also act or say what's on my mind. Point being, there's not a single human being out there that's "pure." We're a combination of parts all functioning at the same time. To isolate one part from the whole and say "Yep, this part is the objective truth." is unreasonable, because you're ignoring all the other factors at play in the equation.