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Lord Jade Cross

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Bronztrooper

I'm not sure, but then, when I get angry (like, truly angry and not just frustrated), I still have very good control over myself in terms of what I say and decent control of myself in terms of what I do.  I'm the kind of person that never wants to try to hurt others emotionally, regardless of what I'm feeling in the moment.  But when I'm angry, I also have a very strong urge to hit something.  Which I find kind of weird, tbh.

 

Though, one thing about society that I don't understand is the conflict between "Always tell the truth" and "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it", because that basically means that you should always tell the truth except if it isn't a 'nice' truth.  If I say something in anger, odds are that I meant what I said mainly because I'm not wired in a way that I'll accidentally say something that can offend the person I'm arguing with.

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Rosendust

I'd say so! I've definitely been in situations like that, so I can relate!

Regards,

Rosendust(AKA Ryan)

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emotions are very powerful in the sense that it can bring out the truth, but an extended part of it that just makes it lies and plain rude. 

 

if we have some sort of control over our negative emotions, and find ways to cope within those balances of positive emotions, we will be more frequent around controlling it much better. we cannot fully gain control over our negative and positive emotions, but we can see them in another light and view to regain control in some sort of form. when you're angry, you're most likely angry because someone has done YOU harm in any way. in this case, you'll give your perspective, but again you're angry, it could add meaner and more harsher forms of the truth, just trying to make the other person feel bad for you, or provide some sort of support, sympathy and/or help. if you're good at managing your anger, you'll most likely draw more gentle and decent forms of the truth. if you're angry for someone else or something else in that case, you'll give their perspective, but again you're angry, you can make a complementing argument that the perspective you know is the plain truth, but could be again used in more harsher and meaner forms. it is true that the truth can hurt, but it can also be eye opening and beautiful. there are different forms of the truth, depending on the perspective inside that said truth, and the perspective outside of the said truth. everyone has a different mindset, perspective and opinion, that could potentially change their answer further from the actual truth. people are scared human beings. people do not want to be seen as bad, but if they were bad, would they really worry about not wanting to be seen as bad? they're anxious and scared that what they said could have been the truth, but again couldn't have been. it's up for them to admit to themselves that this is a possibility, and maybe they should work on themselves to valid these feelings, thoughts and emotions while balancing it with the actual truth. getting second opinions or an outsider opinion is always opening, because it can show you another way of seeing the truth, and although it may be negative, there's nothing wrong with taking that for the better and continuing to use that for development and learning for the better. we're human beings, we will mess up, but if we do not admit the truth to even ourselves, we will carry that burden of feeling guilty and feeling awful.

 

it truly depends on who you are, where you are in life, and how you think, observe and analyze. it also depends on your control and manage of emotions and facts. powerful can both be bad and good, if you have too much power that is where it could go wrong and make it into negative power, just like emotions. if you have too much it could make you feel negative and extend something that is neutral, such as the truth. there are bad and good sides to everything after all. but, if you maintain that balance, it could show you something positive, which is the actual truth. even if it doesn't seem positive, it's better to see the truth other than hide it behind layers and layers of yourself. facing it is difficult, but you can definitely go at your own pace in doing so. you also can very much develop and learn throughout it. we all mess up, and we all can change naturally or by ourselves.

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To a limited degree. Anger can incite a confession of something, albeit taken up a notch with the flood of chemicals that comes with. Other emotions themselves can also bring out confessions however, although they too are skewed in a sense that they align with the emotion itself. An exceptionally happy person will confess happy thoughts, an exceptionally sad person will confess sad thoughts, and so on. If we were to remove the emotions from the equation, normally, those thoughts would still be there, but they wouldn't be amplified, and sometimes, spoken.

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In a game of poker, showing anger, is literally exposing your entire deck of cards.

 

I don't know about a truth serum, but showing anger is a person showing you their character at its rawest state. Their insecurities, their fears, their maturity level, and many things about a person can be picked apart once they veer into anger. Anger is sort of like being drunk. You've lost the bulk of the control over yourself, and are acting out of impulsive emotion.

 

Main reason why that statement: "you never know who you married, until you divorce them", comes to mind.

 

You only truly will know what a person is capable of, and what they think of you unfiltered, once you've pissed them off.

 

I call bullshit on those who state: "I didn't mean it" when angry, as a result. You meant every word, or wouldn't have said them. You're more upset, because what you said hurt me.

 

If I'm pissed off, I don't apologize for what I said as a result. If I love the person, I'll literally make them understand that I tried to walk away (I give verbal warning shots, prior to going to verbal diarrhea). I'll as a result, apologize for hurting them and ask for forgiveness. 

 

I have a pretty good control over my anger, so one must really have to be trying to get me over the edge. Once there, I'm sorry, but I mean every word.

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I'd say you tell the truth that you see at the time, not necessarily THE truth or even the truth you usually believe. Strong emotions change your perspective on things, exaggerating the situation and confirming your fears. What may be the clear as day truth to you when you're angry may turn out to be something you were just worried was true because of your own fears and insecurities, but when you calm down you realise you jumped to conclusions or blew it out of proportion. A similar thing happens when I'm feeling anxious or depressed.

 

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pwhen your body is threatened it needs to react quickly to get itself out of danger. it is assumed that you don't have time to weigh your options and consider things that are possibly not related to the problem that is presented to you.

 

so when we are angry we often take a much simpler view of the world, and a simple world is not necessarily a true one.

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No I don't think so, angry people can be intentionally mean or exaggerating negative aspects of what they talk about.

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I see what you mean! :) Think it's a good idea to ponder what people said when they were angry. Could it be the truth? Should you talk it through with that person?

 

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Only somewhat. When I'm angry or having a meltdown, I do tend to let out the thoughts that I wouldn't otherwise express. But I also say things that are flat out illogical, as well as things I do believe but would express in a calmer and more rational way if I weren't upset.

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12 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

But truth, or the concept of what we call truth is always a matter of perspective. 

 

 

err, yes and no. it would be more fair to say that truth is an attempted removal of perspective. yes, we can't perceive our world without the limitations of our perceptions, but in approaching truth we (hopefully) try to remove those imperfections of how we see the world. often we do that by relying socially on points of view outside of the self, but narrowing your point of view is also sometimes useful to remove extraneous information.

 

but imagine you have a camera, and you want to focus on a shot. if you only were able to widen the lens, it would be very frustrating, but the same is true if you were only able to narrow the lens

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2 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

This sounds like it would be a very useful tactic to determine if a person is appropiate marriage wise.

Could backfire, if done deliberately. Kind of like pushing someone away, while deep down fearing they walk away. Odds are quite high, they eventually will.

 

However, someone's fighting style is them exposing their entire soul to you.

 

I think its wiser to simply live with them for a year or more, prior to even remotely considering tying the knot. Being in each other's spaces fighting or not, you will figure them out, as you can no longer hide your character. I mean, a few months in, people may still putting facades up, but once they get comfortable, their full character comes out.

 

So yeah, if they show you who they are for months, and you know it and still marry them--that's on you. The warning signs are always there. That, "I didn't know", is BS especially if with them for years prior to tying the knot.

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apatrickwsu

It is fully possible to lie when angry. I don't have a stat about it, but anecdotally I would say that most people lie about why they are angry most of the time.

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3 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

But the subject of the shot would still be the same wouldnt it? Widening or narrowing the shot would be the equivalent of perspective.

 

 

no. the subject of the shot is still something perceived. before you ever pull out the camera you are washing what you see through the interconected network of memories and dreams. is Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night true?

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1 hour ago, Jade Cross said:

Some people are exceptionally good liars even face to face

Which is why you gauge a person by their actions, and not their words.

 

When their actions don't add up, you sort of have your answer. I don't care how deceptive a person is.

 

I dated a couple women that would desperately try to push you to your breaking point, to see if you would remain. Always pushing you away, ultimately forcing you to chase them.

 

Some see it as a good test.

 

However, I'd strongly disagree, considering I didn't sink to their level and dumped both.

 

Many men would have chased but I won't even chase hard liquor.

 

I refuse to give a person the satisfaction of getting mad at them. I'd rather show them the door so they could walk their way out.

 

It's a horrible way of finding out, in my opinion. You are failing to recognize that being dishonest is their choice.

 

You should make yours, and let them go. Forcing people through countless hoops is more indicative to me of a person with serious trust issues.

 

You will ultimately let good ones slip past your fingers with that approach.

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10 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

Many people tend to be highly untrustworthy.

Which is why you truly appreciate those in your life, that aren't. It gives you perspective on how many people you had to go through, to encounter them.

 

10 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

A trait that relationship wise, I dont have to worry about

A relationship or friendship, will have the same trust dynamics within them. So unless you love full on alienating yourself from humanity, you likely will need to worry about it.

 

So deliberately pushing someone to see if they break, in order to view their level of trustworthiness is not a healthy way of assessing people. Its as toxic, as someone who is a pathological liar. They just hurt you, differently.

 

One, through constantly making those who love you feel like they'll never be good enough, and the latter through breaking their trust over time. 

 

The first one, is actually a pattern used by abusive people. Only difference, is they employ a push and pull pattern, of crushing you, and building you back up just enough to where you're still disoriented and in their control, but not enough to where they can regain their confidence.

 

Main reason I've been quick to run, if I saw a woman I was dating showcasing those very patterns of behavior.

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I don't know. Waiting until they get angry (worse even, if you push, to deliberately get them there) to remotely start trusting a person, to me is the most flawed way to get to know them.

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8 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

So called "friends" were among the first to give me a taste of what it feels like to be used by someone and then discarded as trash so I have no strong desire for friendships either.

We've all been through it. However, I refused to accept everyone was like this, and have made some great friendships along the way as a result.

 

I just don't feel deliberately trying to piss people off, is a wise way of trying to figure them out. That reveals more about you, than it does them.

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11 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

For me, I dont believe in people

I'm confused. Why care if anger is the truth serum, then? Shouldn't it be irrelevant if someone is honest with you or not?

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