How old was you when you figuerd out your sexuality??

[will123]

11 hours ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

Ah I see.  I just knew there was straight, gay, and bi back then.  I didn't know about asexuality until about 2012, when I found the definition on Wikipedia.  In my case guys were just buddies, so I never thought of them any kind of other way.  I was however gravitating towards girls, but I didn't feel sexual towards them, I knew I liked being around certain ones more than others though, but I didn't know what that meant.  I just told everybody I was straight and never actually engaged in any sort of sexual activities.  I legitimately thought I was "waiting for marriage" because I was raised religious, and just hadn't found any guy I liked yet.  It sounds so ridiculous now that I know the truth lol

I had known about bisexuality since the early 80s when I was in my early 20s. I was puzzled why anyone would want to be like that...

 

I was well aware of homosexuality since I was a kid. I'm not sure how it was explained to me but it was more or less 'when a man (or woman) wants to be with another man (or woman)'. I don't think the 'pairs' actually having sex was mentioned.

[General]

1 hour ago, will123 said:

I had known about bisexuality since the early 80s when I was in my early 20s. I was puzzled why anyone would want to be like that...

 

I was well aware of homosexuality since I was a kid. I'm not sure how it was explained to me but it was more or less 'when a man (or woman) wants to be with another man (or woman)'. I don't think the 'pairs' actually having sex was mentioned.

Interesting.  I had no idea what the definitions of gay and bi actually were.  I took a human sexuality college course in 2010 when I was 25, and it was traumatic.  Still didn't learn about the definitions, and asexuality was unheard of.  My pervy teacher thought she knew everything, but didn't know jack squat about different genders or aces.  The class mainly focused on how to be sexual with others (heterosexuals) and what the mechanics are of the process.  I couldn't believe what I had gotten myself into.  Never again.

[Smol Fox]

I knew I was different probably since age 9 since that's when everyone was getting into sex. Adopted the asexuality label at age 10. It was a word I heard in science and a definition I crappily pieced together in English (a- = without; sexual = sexual reproduction). I passively identified as it and even told a few kids I was asexual, neither I or them aware that I was "coming out" or anything. 5 years later I learned of the lgbt community and soon after officially adopted the asexual label (with its lgbt definition). I did doubt for a couple months thinking I may be demisexual before feeling assured of my asexuality.

[General]

1 hour ago, smolfox1132 said:

I knew I was different probably since age 9 since that's when everyone was getting into sex. Adopted the asexuality label at age 10. It was a word I heard in science and a definition I crappily pieced together in English (a- = without; sexual = sexual reproduction). I passively identified as it and even told a few kids I was asexual, neither I or them aware that I was "coming out" or anything. 5 years later I learned of the lgbt community and soon after officially adopted the asexual label (with its lgbt definition). I did doubt for a couple months thinking I may be demisexual before feeling assured of my asexuality.

OMG.....kids are getting interested in sex at 9?!  When I was 9 (in 1994) we were busy playing Pogs and drawing with Crayola markers.  lol!  

[Tomatonpine]

Sixteen-ish and surrounded by sexual people who believed I was a lesbian. Could probably have discovered it earlier as I never had any interest in my sexuality or anything related to it, but I wasn't on Tumblr yet.

[Breathing....]

On 5/1/2018 at 9:07 PM, MaeveTheRaven said:

It was halfway between 19 and 20. Took almost a year to believe it to about 95%. (5% fault tolerance) I'm still working on acceptance.

This, only I was several years older. 24, I found the word. Talked with a friend who told me they already knew I was ace and thought I did too. This really hit my confidence as no one had told me about it yet they decided my sexuality without me. Took another 18months-2yrs before I told anyone else.

 

And while I know I am ace I find it hard to accept at times and particularly hard when people have reacted badly to my confiding in them or when they blame it on my mental health struggles.

[Smol Fox]

11 hours ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

OMG.....kids are getting interested in sex at 9?!  When I was 9 (in 1994) we were busy playing Pogs and drawing with Crayola markers.  lol!  

LMAO 😂 yeah sex was all the craze at that age (2007). It really depended on the school. The social divider became more distinct between the boys and girls and each side would discuss romance and sex. That would be irl, movies, music, art, you name it. Lewd jokes were also a must 🙄 Being aroace and nonbinary I neither understood why anyone was interested in sex nor the endless guyxgirl romantic shipping 🤢

[cp1213]

I know that I’m asexual when I was 14 years old because I heard of the term and wanted to search it up.

[Guest]

Wasn't even aware of asexuality as an orientation until last summer, at 34, lol. I wish I had known sooner. 

[Koalanite]

I was 14, which is 4 years ago now! I think it took me until this year (at 17/18 years old) to fully accept and be happy with my identity though.

[will123]

17 hours ago, Greywulf said:

Wasn't even aware of asexuality as an orientation until last summer, at 34, lol. I wish I had known sooner. 

I know how you feel. When I became aware of it when I was 44 I thought the same thing. Nothing horrible had happened to me because of not knowing, but I probably wouldn't attempted things knowing I wasn't straight. 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, will123 said:

I know how you feel. When I became aware of it when I was 44 I thought the same thing. Nothing horrible had happened to me because of not knowing, but I probably wouldn't attempted things knowing I wasn't straight. 

Yeah. I always had this lingering feeling that I was different, but thankfully it wasn't something that ever made me feel 'broken'. I think that mentality of 'I haven't met the right person' was somewhat of a blessing in disguise, as it allowed me to put that aspect of my life aside and focus on other things. Still, it would have been nice to know sooner, lol. 

[Guest]

I was 15 or 16. I forgot how I first learned about it, but swankivy's YouTube channel and AVEN were excellent resources for me back then.

[Guest]

.

[General]

4 hours ago, CoffeeCake said:

I don't identify as asexual yet, so my experience might be a bit biased, but I highly identify with asexuality, so. I came across this term first when I was 15, and I remember doing quizzes of "Am I Asexual" everytime before I put the topic behind. At 16 I have come back to the term after a relationship and it's been a discovering process ever since. Although I identify with 90% of asexuality, since I am inexperienced in relationships and quite young I don't call myself asexual yet. But AVEN has been a comforting place for me through this process, so I think, in my opinion, that there's no need to rush. You can identify yourself in a community even tough you're not comfortable in putting this label to yourself. That's what I do at least.

Keep in mind an asexual, or anyone of another orientation for that matter, doesn't have to be experienced in relationships, sex, or be older to know what they are.  Many gay people for example, know that they're gay in childhood before anything has happened.  Personally, I haven't been with anyone or had any sexual encounters.  I'm 33 and know for certain I am ace.  Only, the terminology wasn't there when I was younger so I couldn't identify as such.  Sexual attraction doesn't have anything to do with age, behavior, or sexual experience.

[Guest]

.

[General]

12 minutes ago, CoffeeCake said:

Oh, I see! Thanks for the heads up

I'm just being careful in putting this label on me, but that's a personal decision. Who knows, maybe things will never change, but we can't be sure.

Absolutely!  No pressure here.  Everyone needs to find out who they are.  I hope you find all of your answers.  Best of luck to you.

[knittinghistorian]

On 11/11/2018 at 11:09 PM, AceOfHearts_85 said:

OMG.....kids are getting interested in sex at 9?!  When I was 9 (in 1994) we were busy playing Pogs and drawing with Crayola markers.  lol!  

Pogs!  Oh, the nostalgia. . .I haven't thought about pogs in years.  Lol!

[will123]

20 minutes ago, CoffeeCake said:

Oh, I see! Thanks for the heads up

I'm just being careful in putting this label on me, but that's a personal decision. Who knows, maybe things will never change, but we can't be sure.

 

6 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

Absolutely!  No pressure here.  Everyone needs to find out who they are.  I hope you find all of your answers.  Best of luck to you.

@CoffeeCake All of us are different in how we come to our identity. I wasn't questioning my lack of interest in sex over the years (like some folks) but when I read about asexuality (at 44) I KNEW that applied to me instantly! For me there's no going back. 

 

That is possibly why I was so emotional when I came out to a good friend. Even though I had long felt asexual before telling him, it was like I was going from my so-called straight identity to my asexual one. I knew once I came out to him I couldn't 'put the genie back in the bottle' so to speak.

[Smol Fox]

On 11/12/2018 at 12:09 AM, AceOfHearts_85 said:

OMG.....kids are getting interested in sex at 9?!  When I was 9 (in 1994) we were busy playing Pogs and drawing with Crayola markers.  lol!  

18 minutes ago, knittinghistorian said:

Pogs!  Oh, the nostalgia. . .I haven't thought about pogs in years.  Lol!

 

*proceeds to google pogs*

I see a bunch of yogurt lids

[Redwylde]

18! It's never too late! I'm happy that you've managed to figure it out~

[will123]

22 minutes ago, Redwylde said:

18! It's never too late! I'm happy that you've managed to figure it out~

Knowing what I went thru for over 30 years before finding out about asexuality, I'm always happy when I see a younger person here being aware of asexuality at a MUCH younger age than I did.

[General]

47 minutes ago, smolfox1132 said:

*proceeds to google pogs*

I see a bunch of yogurt lids

LOL!  It's a game.  I wish I could play with someone again, but I think I may be the only one of my friends to actually save all mine.

[General]

1 hour ago, knittinghistorian said:

Pogs!  Oh, the nostalgia. . .I haven't thought about pogs in years.  Lol!

Yessss!  They were great!  I still have mine. ☺

[dentedcanoe]

late 20's/early 30's...took awhile to sink in.

 

I think I started telling people I was gay when I was 28 or 29, but still had a few short-lived relationships with dudes after that because I thought they were different.  Nope!  Nice fellas but no one I could emotionally connect with in any meaningful way because they were dudes.  I think it took me a couple more years to realize I was asexual- I realized if I never again had sex with another person for the rest of my life, I would not be disappointed.  

[sababajwa]

Like 4. I figured it out something’s not normal. And it hasn’t been I always been quite self aware and unique but my sexuality takes it over the top... I knew when I looked at ppl I didn’t blush but when I thought about them I would but had no desire for males when I grew up I mean I do but I don’t know how to... like I don’t know how to connect it it’s really weird maybe it’s a chemical thing or how we think not sure

[Revan-Embry]

I'm 27 and just this past summer I did a lot of research plus using this site because I was confused about my orientations. But this August I came out as Asexual, and last month Aromantic.

 

[Jenna Nicole]

On 11/16/2018 at 10:50 AM, AceOfHearts_85 said:

Keep in mind an asexual, or anyone of another orientation for that matter, doesn't have to be experienced in relationships, sex, or be older to know what they are.  Many gay people for example, know that they're gay in childhood before anything has happened.  Personally, I haven't been with anyone or had any sexual encounters.  I'm 33 and know for certain I am ace.  Only, the terminology wasn't there when I was younger so I couldn't identify as such.  Sexual attraction doesn't have anything to do with age, behavior, or sexual experience.

This, so much! I just came to terms with my Asexuality in the past few years, discovered Asexuality (lacking any desire in sex, and not due to being celibate or a virgin) when I was 28, five years ago. But looking back to my youth, I realize I have never had any actual interest in sex. My pre-adolescenct and adolescent years were much different from that of my classmates. They were discovering their sexuality, going on dates, even having sex or talking openly about sexual encounters. Even as a youngster, I thought that was highly inappropriate and had no interest in it.

I only knew gay and lesbian back in those days. People didn't really grasp the concept of bisexuality back then, let alone any other terms within the LGBT+ spectrum. You were either straight (both male and female), gay (male), or lesbian (female). There weren't any liking men and women, or any other individual who identified as a different gender. Or, like Asexuality, have no interest in sex. Back then, you were considered a prude, weird, strange for not wanting or having any interest in sex.

[TuxedoRam]

I was 13 when I found out I was asexual. And 14 when I realized I was aromatic. My whole life up until then I kind of knew though, I just didn't know what to call it/didn't want to accept it.

[General]

49 minutes ago, Jenna Nicole said:

This, so much! I just came to terms with my Asexuality in the past few years, discovered Asexuality (lacking any desire in sex, and not due to being celibate or a virgin) when I was 28, five years ago. But looking back to my youth, I realize I have never had any actual interest in sex. My pre-adolescenct and adolescent years were much different from that of my classmates. They were discovering their sexuality, going on dates, even having sex or talking openly about sexual encounters. Even as a youngster, I thought that was highly inappropriate and had no interest in it.

I only knew gay and lesbian back in those days. People didn't really grasp the concept of bisexuality back then, let alone any other terms within the LGBT+ spectrum. You were either straight (both male and female), gay (male), or lesbian (female). There weren't any liking men and women, or any other individual who identified as a different gender. Or, like Asexuality, have no interest in sex. Back then, you were considered a prude, weird, strange for not wanting or having any interest in sex.

Yes, I completely understand.  Looking back on my life I was just never interested.  Never desired sex and never found it necessary to seek out a partner for that purpose.  I felt it was all very inappropriate no matter what age I was.  

 

What exactly is appealing about putting your body parts into other people's body parts and vice versa?  To me, sex is like someone repeatedly jamming their toe into your ear and getting excited about it.  LOL