Gldlynch

What are the differences between bi, pan and poly?

Recommended Posts

Gldlynch

Hey AVEN

 

I need clarity and advice. What are your definitions of bisexual/romantic, pansexual/romantic and polysexual/romantic? Please be as specific as you can!

 

Do you think bi means two genders? Your own and the opposite? Does it mean "both" genders? Or is it two or more? If "more," then when does it become pan?

 

Sometimes I feel bi, but that feels too restricting. Sometimes I feel pan but the word is almost too broad (do you think there is transphobic connotation attached to this label?) However if I say I'm poly I feel like I sound too picky.

 

Your thoughts?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hild

I'll only speak for pansexual, as it's the one I identify with.

To me, there is nothing about a persons gender that could disqualify them from my love, or from me being attracted to them. 

Gender is important, but it's part of a whole, and it's the whole that matters to me.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TheAP

Bi - attraction to two or more genders, or to your gender and other genders

Pan- attraction to all genders, or regardless of gender

Poly - attraction to multiple genders but not all

 

Yes, the definitions may overlap, but you can call yourself whichever one you feel comfortable with. And no, there's no transphobic connotation attached to being pan (or bi).

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Homer

Correction: "bi" means two, not "two or more" - the same way a bicycle has two wheels and not "two or more".

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lichley

Bisexual means attraction to both your own and the opposite gender.

Pansexual means attraction to someone’s regardless of their gender - their gender has nothing to do with why you’re attracted to them, simply put an attraction to personality first and body second.

Polysexual is attraction to most but not all genders, like Non-Binary and Female but not Male.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TheAP
39 minutes ago, Homer said:

Correction: "bi" means two, not "two or more" - the same way a bicycle has two wheels and not "two or more".

That's what the prefix "bi" means, but "bisexual" doesn't have to mean that. Language evolves.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Homer
3 minutes ago, TheAP said:

That's what the prefix "bi" means, but "bisexual" doesn't have to mean that. Language evolves.

That doesn't make sense though. "Bi" is commonly understood as "two". Why would sex be an exception? That's what words and their meanings are for - to carry a message which is agreed upon.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TheAP
11 minutes ago, Homer said:

That doesn't make sense though. "Bi" is commonly understood as "two". Why would sex be an exception? That's what words and their meanings are for - to carry a message which is agreed upon.

Saying that bisexual people are attracted to only two genders can make people think that bisexual people don't acknowledge non-binary genders, which can perpetuate prejudice against bi people.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Puck

Poly is not a sexual orientation, it's what one wants their relationship to be like. Most people are monogamous, so they want one partner that they'll be with their whole life. But some are polyamorous aka poly which means they want to have multiple partners at once. So if a woman had two husbands, she's be polyamorous. She'll also have a sexual orientation, such as heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, pansexual, asexual....

 

Bi = Attracted to both men and women

 

Pan = Attracted to all genders

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
roland.o
2 minutes ago, Puck said:

Poly is not a sexual orientation

"polyamorous" is not. But I've been recently made aware of the fact that there is also "polysexual".

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Puck
2 minutes ago, roland.o said:

"polyamorous" is not. But I've been recently made aware of the fact that there is also "polysexual".

Ah, well the internet comes up with new ones all the time :P I've never heard of "polysexual" but it'd be interesting if someone was claiming that and trying to use the shorthand "poly" when poly is so widely used/accepted to mean polyamorous.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Homer
1 hour ago, TheAP said:

Saying that bisexual people are attracted to only two genders can make people think that bisexual people don't acknowledge non-binary genders, which can perpetuate prejudice against bi people.

Honestly IDGAF what people "could think" when accurate terms are being used. One could even argue that it's not even specified which genders we are talking about, just that this person is attracted to precisely two of them. Could be any two.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TheAP
Just now, Homer said:

Honestly IDGAF what people "could think" when accurate terms are being used. One could even argue that it's not even specified which genders we are talking about, just that this person is attracted to precisely two of them. Could be any two.

I don't really see the point in policing how people refer to themselves just because of the original meaning of the prefix.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Homer
1 hour ago, TheAP said:

I don't really see the point in policing how people refer to themselves just because of the original meaning of the prefix.

I don't see the point of education if everything just means what you want it to mean... besides that, you're missing the point. People can refer to themselves however they want. Others are free to point out that their choice of words is inaccurate.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68
3 hours ago, Homer said:

That's what words and their meanings are for - to carry a message which is agreed upon.

Homer ,Homer, Homer... you do know which website you're on don't you?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lichley
3 hours ago, roland.o said:

"polyamorous" is not. But I've been recently made aware of the fact that there is also "polysexual".

I’ve heard Omnisexual used instead so people don’t get confused between polyamourus and polysexual, which is probably a good idea.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TheAP

I guess we shouldn't call animals "omnivores" then, if they won't eat absolutely everything. Omni means all.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Alejandrogynous

Bi - attracted to two genders

Pan - attracted to all genders, or attracted to people regardless of gender

Poly - attracted to multiple genders but not all

 

I have known several people who fit the definition of pansexual but use 'bisexual' instead simply because it's more well known, doesn't require as much explanation, and because a lot of people already formed an identity with it before pansexual was even a word. Conversely, I've also seen people ID as pansexual simply because they don't like the baggage 'bisexual' carries. So it seems like it's often less about the technical 'how many genders am I attracted to' question and more about which identity group they want to associate with. *shrugs*

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Celyn

@Homer and TheAP (sorry, it's not tagging you) Bi does indeed mean two. Bisexual is when you are attracted to two kinds of people, your own gender, and NOT your own gender. So it's not necessarily transphobic, or erasing non-binary people.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TheAP
12 hours ago, Celyn said:

@Homer and TheAP (sorry, it's not tagging you) Bi does indeed mean two. Bisexual is when you are attracted to two kinds of people, your own gender, and NOT your own gender. So it's not necessarily transphobic, or erasing non-binary people.

Yeah, I've heard that definition too. I've heard different ones, though.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dia Nicole

For me

Bi means being attracted to two or more genders

Pan means being attracted to someone  based on personality regardless of gender or without recognizing gender

I identify as bi because while I am open to relationships with pretty much anyone I still recognize and somewhat regard gender. I know that I do in a sense look for different things based on how I know the person identifies. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now