Friends and socialization

[gHuddo]

I know some of the answers have a large range, but I wanted to try and include all possibilities 

[StormySky]

Being a member of a close knit community like choir, it's hard to tell who's "a close friend" and who's "just a friend." I define it as "people who you can trust with your personal problems" and there are some people I don't hang out a lot with, who I'd 100% go to for anything.

[gHuddo]

21 minutes ago, CBC said:

Do we count partners as friends? And is this an asexuals-only poll?

Only friends not partners (they could complicate things) and its for anyone and everyone @CBC

[iff]

1) 5

2) 11 - 15

3) yes

4) every other month. We're trying to organise meet ups if I happen to be in dublin

5) I never text my friends

6) I never call my friends

7) couple times a year

meet less than once a month

9) I don't really have work friends

10) regularly

[HonoraryJedi]

Most of my friends are online friends at the moment, and even my most local friend I don't hang out with in meatspace as much as I used to. It is more of a bimonthly thing now, so the examples of 'what do you do with your friends' don't apply to me. During the time my local friend and I would hang out in meatspace more, we would go to eachothers houses, and often take walks and chat, or play video games. My interactions with my online friends include a lot of co-op video games.

[RK800]

I have lot's of friends online but zero off. Many of them I would  totally hangout with IRL but they're too far away.

[Grumpy Alien]

I have 3 close friends and about 6-8 friends in total. I do have internet friends. I’m constantly messaging or texting friends. I only speak to any of them on the phone maybe twice a year in total. It’s usually only in emergencies or for long serious conversations that can’t wait. I don’t see my friends often IRL. (A few times a year on average.) I contibute a lot to conversation but struggle to drive it.

[TheAP]

(haven't voted)

1. I really only have one close friend that I talk to regularly.

2. I don't know what constitutes a "friend".

3. Yes

4. If posting on AVEN and other sites counts as interacting with friends, all the time.

5. An hour or so a week or less, maybe? I want to get back into chatting more often, though.

6. I hate talking on the phone, so never.

7. Unfortunately, I don't see any friends in real life anymore.

8. None, not anymore.

9. At school, I usually tended to get left out of conversations, and listen but not contribute.

10. My best friend and I don't talk as often anymore, and I wish we did, but it hasn't affected our closeness.

[Mae 🌼]

1. 2

2. I don't really know? I have many acquaintances but not many friends at all

3. Yeah I guess

4. Maybe once a month IRL 

5. An hour or so a month I reckon I only really talk to my friends in person 

6. Never

7. Once/twice a month

8. Go for food or each others houses but usually less than once a month

9. Sometimes I comment on parts of the conversation, sometimes I won't say anything but will listen 

10. Never/rarely sometimes I go off the grid without word for months at a time and I worry they'll get sick of it and I won't have any friends left when I reappear lol

 

[Pramana]

I thought I'd take the opportunity to express my bafflement regarding the habit some people have developed whereby they need to maintain constant texting contact with their friend group.

[SilentRose]

1.Three close friends (two of which I'm much closer to than the third) and my boyfriend who I guess counts right?  - I won't count my sister though! 

 

2. I've had so many work and school friends throughout my life it's hard to keep track (I've had a lot of jobs ) But when I count the people I still keep up with and talk to occasionally....9? ....I've had a lot of friends who I only talk to in school or at a job and when that ended, the friendship ended. 

 

3. Yes, I have only had one, who I'm still great friends with. 

 

4-6. Depends on the person! Mostly I keep up with my non-best friends through social media. Most of those friends I just send Snapchats every once in a while now. My boyfriend who I count as one of my best friends I talk to about two hours daily, either texting, on the phone or in person. One of my best friends calls me every other day and we talk for about an hour on the phone. My other two best friends I text several times a week but we rarely phone call. Then I have one non-best friend who calls me once every couple months and we catch up for an hour or two. 

 

7- depends on the person again and where I'm living! I've bounced around a lot. When I was in college I saw my friends a lot more, but things have definitely changed. Now I see my non-best friends usually one or two times a year in person. And for my best friends...I see my boyfriend every week, I see one of my best friends once or twice a week, one of them about once a month, and one of them once every few months because of distance. 

 

8-With one of my best friends we take a lot of walks together, we live 10 minutes from each other and whenever she's taking a walk she invited me. In general we go out to dinner a lot, hang out at one of our houses and watch TV, or go to the movies. 

 

9-most of my friends are actually even more introverted than me! And when I'm with people I'm comfortable with I'm actually very talkative. I usually either drive the conversation or contribute heavily to it. 

 

10- Never actually...I'm actually very comfortable telling my friends how much they mean to me and I tell my best friends everything. I feel most of my close friendships are strong and I feel very lucky to have them

 

[Mezzo Forte]

This all depends on how we define friends, because I work in a very social field, and I get along well with quite a number of people, but I only have a very small handful of people who I declare my closest friends, who I am genuinely emotionally intimate with and would feel comfortable going to for support as needed. By strictest definitions, I have two best friends, a twin who is a best friend by default IRL, and one very dear friend I met online who has been my pen pal for the past few years.

 

Every friendship, even the casual ones, are a bit different from one another, so it's hard to paint my social life with a single broad stroke. I bond with different people for different reasons, and it's hard to say what reasons make one person closer than another outside my closest circles.

[purpleandgreylife]

I have three close friends. I keep up with them and them with me. However, I do not have the chance to get together with them as often as I would like. Two of my close friends have kids, and the other lives in state but far away from me. Getting together is difficult logistically. We usually are only able to really get together one on one at least once a year.

 

However, one of your questions asked how often respondents see their friends "How often do you interact with your friends? (As a collective, not individuals)" I don't really think this question is fair because it assumes that everyone has a friend-group. All of my friends know of each other and two of them even know each other because we went to school together, but my friends aren't friends with each other, so we don't hang out as a group. Also, even though I would like to see my friends at least once a month - work, family and other responsibilities make that really prohibitive.

 

I think it would be interesting to know if the respondents were in school or not. I think I would have answered these questions differently if I were in college, than now that I'm not. In college, I frequently hung out with a large group of associates, at least once a week and spoke and texted throughout the week. Also, we definitely got together at least twice a month (being in similar campus activities, and hanging out after meetings or after church) with much more ease.

 

 

[purpleandgreylife]

On 5/8/2018 at 4:45 PM, Mezzo Forte said:

This all depends on how we define friends, because I work in a very social field, and I get along well with quite a number of people, but I only have a very small handful of people who I declare my closest friends, who I am genuinely emotionally intimate with and would feel comfortable going to for support as needed. By strictest definitions, I have two best friends, a twin who is a best friend by default IRL, and one very dear friend I met online who has been my pen pal for the past few years.

 

Every friendship, even the casual ones, are a bit different from one another, so it's hard to paint my social life with a single broad stroke. I bond with different people for different reasons, and it's hard to say what reasons make one person closer than another outside my closest circles.

@Mezzo Forte I have a twin too! I didn't mention it because I count her as a best friend, and the survey was asking in terms of friendship. Anyway, that's really cool!

[XYZ96]

I have about five close friends and somewhere around ten friends total. Unfortunately, my closest friends all live quite a far ways a way, when I lived in the same building as three of them we ate breakfast, lunch and dinner together everyday (except weekends), went shopping/into town together at least a few times a month, walked around town together at least a few times a month, and did other stuff (cooked, played board games, did random stuff, etc). Now that I don't live near my closest friends and live alone, I do less with friends I have here, I spend lunch together with them, and if there's a movie one of us really wants to see, we might go together (depending on when it's running and stuff). I don't actually see my closest friends as much anymore, because it costs around a 100 euros to even go down to where they live, so I only see them one or two times a year, my best friend, who lived on the other side of the ocean, I haven't seen in a few years and the two friends who go to uni with me I see at least once a week... 

 

I regularly text my friends, probably on average every other day, though I never call, not a fan of calls... 

 

I take a fairly big part in the conversation usually, I only really hang out with two other people so... Though if they are talking about something that I can't really participate in, like game of thrones or books, then I generally fade out and pay just close enough attention to tell if they change the topic

 

 

[Mezzo Forte]

3 hours ago, purpleandgreylife said:

@Mezzo Forte I have a twin too! I didn't mention it because I count her as a best friend, and the survey was asking in terms of friendship. Anyway, that's really cool!

Always fun finding fellow twins on here!  My twin and I are pretty fraternal in regards to both appearance and personality, but we’re different in ways that make us super compatible as friends!

[purpleandgreylife]

16 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said:

Always fun finding fellow twins on here!  My twin and I are pretty fraternal in regards to both appearance and personality, but we’re different in ways that make us super compatible as friends!

@Mezzo Forte Same. We are kind of like yin and yang in our personalities, but it's never clear who's who (yin v. yang). We are really good friends. I think the best part of our friendship is that we can talk about anything, without judgement and we understand each other on a deeper level than any friend.

 

I have noticed that for my sister and I, as twins, and for other twins that I've met: fraternal twins look more and more alike as they get older and identical twins look more and more different. That's personal observation though. Just thought I'd throw that out there, because it was really interesting for me to realize.

[Podsnap]

10. Do you worry about the closeness of your friendships?

 

To clarify, I picked the never option because I have no friends.

 

 

[Mezzo Forte]

10 hours ago, purpleandgreylife said:

@Mezzo Forte Same. We are kind of like yin and yang in our personalities, but it's never clear who's who (yin v. yang). We are really good friends. I think the best part of our friendship is that we can talk about anything, without judgement and we understand each other on a deeper level than any friend.

 

I have noticed that for my sister and I, as twins, and for other twins that I've met: fraternal twins look more and more alike as they get older and identical twins look more and more different. That's personal observation though. Just thought I'd throw that out there, because it was really interesting for me to realize.

That’s a fascinating observation! I definitely know identical twins who look different because one of them became a lifeguard who fit that bill. As for my sis and I, my transition might have thrown things off, as I’m actually resembling my older brother more and more with each passing day instead.  My sis and I have always looked quite different from each other though, and people usually either realized we were siblings because of our mannerisms or because of some abstract aspect of our appearance seeming similar to them. (We have different eye color, hair color, complexion, and frame. Same height though. ) One took more heavily from mom’s side, and the other took more from dad’s side.

[Strange But Not a Stranger]

I haven't voted, because I am not sure. I have 1 best friend, but it's a sibling. So I don't know if that counts. Other than that, I don't have any friends.

[Yatogami]

All my friends are online, but we find things to do together. (Like movies)

[Tetra]

I have five friends that I would consider really close, including my husband. (He's definitely one of my best friends, so it would feel wrong not to count him.) I guess I count them as close if I feel comfortable talking to them about personal stuff that others might be judgmental about. I think I've got around 15 friends total. A lot of them are friends from high school who I just get together with once a year at an anime convention we all go to, but I still care about them a lot. I try to get together with my close friends who are in my area at least once a week to watch movies and play video games.

 

I've never actually had internet friends, even though I spend a lot of time on the internet. When I was much younger, there were some people I met on forums who I later realized I knew irl and then we became friends, but I never considered them friends when I only knew them online. My experiences with internet communities and social media haven't been that great, so posting on AVEN is kind of a big step for me, haha.

 

I do worry about the closeness of my friendships a lot more often than I should. I've had a few friendships in the past (including some I definitely considered close) that blew up in my face, so even if I've been friends with someone for years, I kinda worry that they secretly find me annoying or are going to suddenly realize they hate me. I think the only friends I 100% don't worry about are probably my husband and one best friend who I've known since we were 10-11 years old. I figure if she didn't hate me when I was legit annoying in middle school or high school, she's not going to suddenly start hating me now, hahaha.

[AcesAndChill]

With Discord being my main way of keeping in touch with friends these days, most of the time we like to play games together and join voice calls. Sometimes we watch movies together online or look at youtube videos together. We usually talk at the very least once a day, whether that be by text or voice. Sometimes though we can spend half or almost the whole day in voice calls.
I do worry about the closeness I have or don't have with s lot of my friends surprisingly often. Since most of my IRL friends graduated high school I havent been able to really hang out with any of them except for like 2. Im very bad at keeping in touch so I worry that maybe they dont want to be friends anymore. On the flip side I have about the same problem with internet friends. Some I havent talked to in months, others a few days. I kind of have the opposite problem with a few of them, I want to be close friends with them, but I'm not sure if they want to be close friends with me, or consider me as good of a friend as I consider them. I think that's one of the worst feelings- thinking of someone as a really close, trustworthy friend you can tell anything to, and that person just thinks of you as a friend who they have fun with sometimes. I've also had a very close friend ghost me and basically everyone they knew and moved away. That was pretty hurtful, and I felt like it was at least partially my fault. Maybe I have abandonment issues. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In any case, I care more than I should about my friends, especially my internet friends. (I say that because some people think internet friends arent even real friends) Usually I don't really care about other people, so its surprising when I care about people I talk to online and never met IRL.

[iff]

@FireAddWater

 

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iff, Census Forum Moderator