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Mary Lambert

Do ACE's try more than Allos to pretend every thing is OK?

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CBC
20 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

Please if you ever get a time machine, go to Stephen Hawkings party? I'm sure there is a reality out there where he is still waiting for someone turn up!!

 

https://mashable.com/2018/03/14/stephen-hawking-time-travel-party/#fXwVkGj_fiqx

I'll make sure I do. :P Man, I'd love a time machine.

 

I'm also on the lookout for teleporters, if anyone knows where to find those.

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iff

Please try to keep things civil and not attack other members. Please try to stay on the topic on hand than debating about other members.

 

 

Iff 

Moderator, sexual partners, friends & allies

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CBC

Where were the attacks? I understand the not debating other members thing for sure, and I realise that line was crossed. What passes as a personal attack these days, though?

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Shihara
20 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Some. I really wouldn't over estimate the numbers on either side, especially longer term. 

Yeah I wouldn't over estimate numbers on either side either, hence why I wrote "some" ahah

Personally, I don't see an asexual/sexual relationship working out in the long run, but thought I'd keep things neutral bc technically some may work out

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Telecaster68
1 minute ago, Shihara said:

Yeah I wouldn't over estimate numbers on either side either, hence why I wrote "some" ahah

Personally, I don't see an asexual/sexual relationship working out in the long run, but thought I'd keep things neutral bc technically some may work out

Oh fine. I've noticed what I'd call the AVEN 'some', which seems to mean either 'almost every' or 'almost none' depending on what readers would like to be true and I wanted to be clear what that particular 'some' meant. 

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ryn2
10 hours ago, CBC said:

What Tele said.

 

Yes, some people are able to compromise. But I can tell you for sure that 1) having sex that you really don't want to be having gets very tedious after a while, and can turn you off even more and contribute to increased issues with things like repulsion and self-worth; and 2) being a sexual person in a relationship with someone who's not even capable of feeling a similar type of desire, of making you feel wanted in a way that's completely exclusive to sex, is quite soul-sucking.

 

Truly successful long-term relationships with mixed orientations are pretty rare. (And I'm not including "I just tolerate it because I've given up" in the definition of a successful relationship.)

Isn’t this true of LTRs in general, though?  There can’t be many out there where both (all) partners haven’t had to compromise on something important, or give something up to get something else (that’s hopefully, but not always, overall better)?  I agree with Sally that it depends on the individuals, as each individual knows (or has to discover over time) what he/she/they can and cannot tolerate.

 

The really happy mixed relationships aren’t typically represented here, and neither are most of the ones so bad they clearly had to end.  It’s probably “just” the less-than-certain (from either direction) folks who are searching for advice/opinions/validation/someone to commiserate with.

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Telecaster68
11 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

There can’t be many out there where both (all) partners haven’t had to compromise on something inportant, or give something up to get something else (that’s hopefully, but not always, overall better)?

Most of the mixed relationships on here are where there's pretty much no sex, and frequently no compromise. Kind of the equivalent of 'oh honey I sold the house, we're moving to that country you really dislike' in terms of impact.

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CBC

Normal, healthy, successful compromise is where one partner wants sex every day and the other wants it maybe once or twice a month, so they agree to try for at least once a week. It's not the sexual partner having to completely give up a vital part of themselves and have no sex or very occasional passionless sex, and it's not the asexual partner repeatedly and silently forcing themselves to do something they find draining and rather boring and pointless, or at worst, deeply distressing.

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Claire1983
6 hours ago, Sally said:

 

Re asexuals not being distracted, when I developed a strong aesthetic attraction to and fell  in love with my partner, I was distracted as hell.  Everyone could see that (which I knew because they told me).   I didn't know about asexuality then (no one did), and thought I'd eventually "get" the sexual stuff if I kept trying.  I was neither in denial, nor was I keeping a secret.  The dime only dropped years later when I read about asexuality.  

 

I've had a similar experience.  I'm asexual but not aromantic and romantic and aesthetic attraction are SUPER distracting.  I'll spend hours obsessing over my crush and I can get insanely distracted by someone I find aesthetically attractive.  The realization that I don't actually want to sleep with them is a very recent one, but I would 100% spend all day staring at Chris Evan's abs given the chance.  I wasn't in denial or keeping a secret I just had no freaking clue that what I was feeling wasn't what I thought.  So asexual across the board are not less prone to distraction.

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CBC
10 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

When you're young you can blame chaos on inexperience and youthful exuberance, and when you're old you can blame it on senility. 

 

Or you can just not give a fuck at any point. 

I just noticed this now!

 

Yes I'm going with the "not give a fuck" tactic. ;) But damn, I'm also gonna milk senility for all it's worth.

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ryn2
6 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

Most of the mixed relationships on here are where there's pretty much no sex, and frequently no compromise. Kind of the equivalent of 'oh honey I sold the house, we're moving to that country you really dislike' in terms of impact.

Agreed.  What I was trying to say was that 1) I’m not sure that the mixed relationships here on AVEN are representative of all mixed relationships out in the world because we probably self-select for “pretty to very unhappy but not leaving yet,” and 2) many (if not most) LTRs involve significant compromise/sacrifice... if not in the sex arena, then in others (one wants kids and the other doesn’t, the example you gave about one-sided relocation decisions, etc.); that it’s a case of how the individual trade-offs balance out, and that’s going to be different from couple to couple and person to person.

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ryn2
6 hours ago, CBC said:

Normal, healthy, successful compromise is where one partner wants sex every day and the other wants it maybe once or twice a month, so they agree to try for at least once a week. It's not the sexual partner having to completely give up a vital part of themselves and have no sex or very occasional passionless sex, and it's not the asexual partner repeatedly and silently forcing themselves to do something they find draining and rather boring and pointless, or at worst, deeply distressing.

Don’t disagree.  I just meant that for some people the other benefits of the relationship may outweigh the not-ideal sex compromise (whereas for others that won’t be true).  People have different priorities.

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Mary Lambert
On ‎4‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 4:25 PM, FictoVore. said:

Out of interest, do good Christian women sell stock photos of themselves online?

First of all, what makes you think this isn't me? You don't know me? I don't know you. How shallow of you to judge what a Christian does or doesn't do? If you want to tear someone down do it. But why attack someone's religion?

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CBC

Do you model for stock photos, @Mary Lambert? Because that's the only way it could be you.

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
10 hours ago, Mary Lambert said:

First of all, what makes you think this isn't me? You don't know me? I don't know you. How shallow of you to judge what a Christian does or doesn't do? If you want to tear someone down do it. But why attack someone's religion?

I didn't actually say it wasn't you, I specifically asked if good Christian women (which you are) sell stock photos of themselves online? Raunchy stock photos, I might add. As CBC pointed out, it's only you if you're a raunchy stock photo model. And if not, then it's disingenuous to accept compliments on the image in your profile.

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Telecaster68

Mary - is that photo you? 

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CBC

Funny, I can find photos of the same woman in different poses and this one labels her as a Russian model... except Mary says she lives in Scottsdale. Scottsdale, Arizona I presume, unless Russia has a Scottsdale or Mary is an immigrant. Hrmmmm... :ph34r: 

 

A5oHrUd_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&f

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uhtred
16 hours ago, CBC said:

Do you model for stock photos, @Mary Lambert? Because that's the only way it could be you.

Lots of people don’t use their own pictures on sensitive sites like this.  I don’t post any pictures, but I sure wouldn’t post my own. 

 

I may may have missed- does Mary say it is her picture. If so, it could be- after all it’s someones picture. 

 

I hate to break it to people but I’m not. Viking warrior

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CBC

Mary accepted compliments on her appearance based upon the photo, and a Google image search shows that it's a Russian model. She claims to be American. She hasn't responded to any inquiries about whether it's her. 

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Thea2
12 minutes ago, uhtred said:

... I’m not. Viking warrior

 the Bold statement. :lol:

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iff

the thread has been locked pending admods review.

 

Iff,

Moderator, sexual partners friends & allies

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