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What is mild dysphoria like??


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I read a lot of posts talking about moderate to severe dysphoria but I don't come across too many about mild dysphoria. How does it typically manifest for most people? What are the symptoms?

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Celyn: The Lutening

A background hum of not-quite-rightness that you just kind of ignore or can push through with simple strategies. For a specific example, I don't like thinking about my body in the shower, but I still like showering. I just wash on autopilot while daydreaming to distract myself.

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One example I've had of mild dysphoria and why I think I'm greygender is when my sister and I were trying on dresses for her prom, which I don't normally do as a general rule. It was great fun for me because some of the dresses legitimately matched my personality, and so in my head with how I was seeing it, it was great. Until my mom decided to make all sorts of comments of how "you're growing into such ladies" and stuff like that, and I immediately felt uncomfortable being reminded that the rest of the world was seeing me in my most "feminine" state and that felt wrong, like I was willingly holding up a sign asking people to misinterpret me. Tiny little uncomfortable reminders. For this particular incidence, it's like when people berate you for breaking something the dog broke, but you don't defend yourself because you know it's useless.

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3 hours ago, Celyn said:

A background hum of not-quite-rightness that you just kind of ignore or can push through with simple strategies. For a specific example, I don't like thinking about my body in the shower, but I still like showering. I just wash on autopilot while daydreaming to distract myself.

This is very similar to my mild dysphoric episodes/my reactions to them, when they occur.

Regards,

Rosendust

 

 

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InfiniteNull

hmmmm... mild dysphoria... for me is kinda like a "meh, thanks for reminding me that my gender doesn't match what the world thinks of me as... gosh"

 

tenor.gif

 

but not like pit of despair anxiety/depression feelings... just like "bleh... what a bummer"

 

I do get the more significant feelings though...

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999papercranes

For me it’s not hating your body severely or being in a constant state of depression or anxiety but still having a noticeable incongruence between your brain sex and your biological sex. It’s when you look at the gendered parts of yourself in the mirror and don’t recognize them as your own. It’s maybe thinking objectively that your body looks nice... but it doesn’t belong to you. It’s forgetting you’re not biologically your true gender and then being surprised when you’re reminded. For example, I forget I’m not biologically male a lot of the time. It’s only when I have to confront myself and my body that I experience active discomfort. I don’t recognize my body as mine. I’m supposed to be biologically male.  

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Janus the Fox

A feeling of tension and unease, knowing it feels rather incorrect in the body I have, yet, never or rarely ever to become discontent with the body and that of the genitals.  Relieve-able  through a gender clothing swap and other small gender readjustments.  The curiosity of HRT and Gender Reassignment, but never to follow through.

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Celyn: The Lutening
9 hours ago, 999papercranes said:

It’s forgetting you’re not biologically your true gender and then being surprised when you’re reminded.

Yes! I dream as male or androgynous most of the time, and sometimes if a dream was particularly vivid I wake up really disorientated to be in a female body; my brain just goes "The f*** is this?????" for a couple of minutes.

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Being reminded I fit into the "All males are dangerous" category sucks but at the same time I understand. Another instance for me is when I use the Bitmoji App for Snapchat my Avatars are all girls and when I look back at a guy version avatar of me I'm like "Yuck!" All of my friends are girls and I'm a guy. Sometimes my feminine side just happens like when shopping I walk by and see women's clothing and say "Those are cute" and keep walking and thinking how there's nothing good in guys clothing. I usually struggle to wear gender specific guy clothing but I'm starting to get better at it. I look back at old photos and can say "That's when I dressed as a dude" Even though I dress as a guy now my old clothes were more like the average expected guy look. I'm kind of genderfluid with my expression. I haven't settled for a term yet. I can be very masculine and fine with it and I can be naturally feminine to where it's authentic. I can be both at once (like two people) or neither (gender does not apply) being reminded that I'm a guy in a negative way is not pleasant. Any positive views on masculinity make me feel good being a guy. I see a lot of male behavior and socializing that don't fit me. I will wear makeup for a while and stop altogether and no one really questions me but I will get compliments on having some cool nail polish. I haven't been bothered by much with my gender or asexuality for a long time but recently I am needing to get back on here and post. I love the update where we can "like" each others posts now! That was a much needed update! To answer the original posters question, for me mild gender dysphoria has been being reminded of my gender and being associated with a regular cis male (which I usually appear as) I really dislike most men in general I'm a hard critic of them. If I had a guy friend he would respect women and not embarass me with stupid macho stuff like yelling shallow comments at girls who don't like them. I already have almost everything in common with women but I need some guy friends to balance out since I'm only attracted to women (even though I'm Ace)

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Celyn: The Lutening
19 minutes ago, dio said:

thinking how there's nothing good in guys clothing.

Wow I'm glad you said this because I feel the same way, just the opposite way around. I always see male clothing and think "that's really cool looking" and that I'd like to wear it, but hardly ever feel the same way about women's clothing.

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Everything different about my gender is on the inside. I still wish to identify and appear as my birth gender but makeup is a chance to have some of that appear on the outside (Mainly eyeliner and polish) With my gender expression is random and can happen in any combination several times a day. When I exhibit some feminine expressions they are natural and authentic. I'm just being me. The most apparent evidence of my multi-gender expression is in my photos. Sometimes I go from complete masculine to complete feminine one photo apart in a set. When I'm both genders it's most like a teamwork between parents. Then I have a gender not applicable side. My feminine side is nurturing and my masculine side is patient. Temper-wise my masculine side is a safe bet while you don't want to mess with my feminine side. 

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19 hours ago, 999papercranes said:

It’s maybe thinking objectively that your body looks nice... but it doesn’t belong to you.

This^^ is what I’ve been trying to articaulate to myself! I kept thinking “I look nice...so...I’m not trans since I like it? But I don’t like it???” 

 

10 hours ago, Celyn said:

Yes! I dream as male or androgynous most of the time, and sometimes if a dream was particularly vivid I wake up really disorientated to be in a female body; my brain just goes "The f*** is this?????" for a couple of minutes.

Oh my gosh! This happens to me too! 

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I don't feel gender dysphoria much because I mostly identify more towards female (AFAB), part of that might be because I've been identifying as female for fourteen years until I started to question my gender.  Sometimes I feel like my body is...off in some way—too curvy or my chest is too large, usually the latter—and sometimes I really want to cut my hair and make it more androgynous or boyish.

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Celyn: The Lutening
12 hours ago, ReyGraves said:

I kept thinking “I look nice...so...I’m not trans since I like it? But I don’t like it???”

Me too, it's been only recently that I accepted that it's a case of "I like this body, just not on me."

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Aw man, you guys, a lot of what's being said here sort of resonates with me like the shopping issue where the opposite sex clothing looks more tantalizing and the 'hey my body is objectively nice but do I really like it as my own??' (hence I am currently questioning). I'm glad this discussion is happening because I feel like people with mild gender dysphoria  often get pushed to the fringes of gender dysphoria talk, whether it's intentional or unintentional, so keep responding guys! It's interesting and helpful to hear your stories!

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I often have a near-constant feeling of unease that doesn't seem to have a source. Then I'll look down or look in a window or a mirror and go "oh."

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Ms. Carolynne
On 4/22/2018 at 11:00 AM, Phoenix the II said:

If only I could give you a thousand likes!

 

Thanks for sharing.

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A lot of you guys have already mentioned some of the stuff that I go through...

Mostly, for me, I just feel a bit off - I usually give it barely any thought or notice when suddenly I'm confronted by my physical silhouette in the mirror (or happen to really glance down), and then I'm overly aware. It kind of feels like when you have an overly vivid dream that seems real, until the moment you wake up and realize that now you're awake and you weren't before - it's that extra awareness that takes ages to finally fade away...

It's definitely manageable for me, but that over-awareness is so eerily surreal at times that it creeps me out. 

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8 hours ago, Shadow007 said:

A lot of you guys have already mentioned some of the stuff that I go through...

Mostly, for me, I just feel a bit off - I usually give it barely any thought or notice when suddenly I'm confronted by my physical silhouette in the mirror (or happen to really glance down), and then I'm overly aware. It kind of feels like when you have an overly vivid dream that seems real, until the moment you wake up and realize that now you're awake and you weren't before - it's that extra awareness that takes ages to finally fade away...

It's definitely manageable for me, but that over-awareness is so eerily surreal at times that it creeps me out. 

Kinda reminds me of when (and this is a weirdly specific example) I'm walking toward the back entrance of my college's science building and I see myself in the reflection on the glass doors next to, say, my brother and his friend and I think 'wow, why do I look so feminine like my hips should be narrower like theirs and I should be taller' but for several reasons and doubts I don't want to call it gender dysphoria just yet...

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When I look at myself without my binder on, especially when I'm not wearing a shirt, I feel like my chest doesn't belong to me, and sometimes I'll feel like everything around me is too real and I'm not real enough. My social dysphoria is generally my brain going, "Wait, she? What?" so quickly that I sometimes don't fully notice it, although it becomes more similar to fear than to confusion when I have to use girls' bathrooms. In generally, my dysphoria is a sense of being disconnected from my body and from people's perceptions of me, but not usually to the point where it impacts my ability to function.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Artsy Anvil

An example of mild dysphoria for me is when I’m going into a store and purchasing something, and when I go pay for what I’m buying, the cashier says, “Thank you, sir.” Another example of mild dysphoria for me is when I turn in my assignments to my professor and he grades it and says, “Good job, boy.” Why not just “thank you” and “good job”? But, I do appreciate the kindness and politeness. So, I can’t complain.

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16 hours ago, Artisan_Anlimor said:

An example of mild dysphoria for me is when I’m going into a store and purchasing something, and when I go pay for what I’m buying, the cashier says, “Thank you, sir.” Another example of mild dysphoria for me is when I turn in my assignments to my professor and he grades it and says, “Good job, boy.” Why not just “thank you” and “good job”? But, I do appreciate the kindness and politeness. So, I can’t complain.

Huh, I wonder why he would say that though because I feel like that's kinda weird wording but what do I know, it probably sounds more natural in person... Anyway, yeah, sometimes it almost feels like people go out of their way to point out your gender even though that's not really their intention...like they don't really think about it when they call you "boy" or "girl" or "gentlemen"/"ladies" <-- (hate hearing this one) but then you're stuck thinking about it... <happens so often that I wish I could just stop questioning because it's getting real old feeling this way !>

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Being reminded of my gender in my social circles. I know that my friends see for me and not my gender but it still hurts. 

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