Angelsexual Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 Hey guys, so after taking a couple of asexual quizzes, I realize I might be asexual? I have spent the past month thinking about my youth, wondering where this all started. I am currently 29 years old and will be 30 in little over 2 weeks. I'm still a virgin and very much proud of it. I really don't want to get married. During my teen years I had very little crushes, in fact I really didn't start liking girls truly until I was about 20. if I did like someone it was really more of a enhance friendship, I just wanted to spend more time with them. Porn in the early years was a way for me to see humans interact, I was more interested in how they held hands, that was arousing, not the sexual act. I was exposed to porn at 6, back in 1994. I won't go into detail but it was very graphic and brutal. I was exposed by the neighborhood boys when I was growing up, even back then I was indifferent to the whole matter. As I became a teenager, I sort of liked one of my teachers, she was a thick girl and she wore pantyhose alot and I like pantyhose. It's one of the few things I like on girls, it's fact it's the only thing I like on girls. It can make me notice them and get aroused by them. Other than that I pretty much like no one and even when it came to my crush on my teacher back then it was incomplete. What I mean by this was I never truly really wanted to sleep with her, I just wanted to hold her and maybe touch her body. But that was really it, I wanted to feel on her legs and pantyhose and whatever but nothing really too deep. I can even think back in 2001 with his 18 year old girl name Susan. I never really thought about her and such an intimate manner. As a teenager I always feel kind of broken, like something was missing from my development even though I looked at porn for years. I wasn't really into it, I found myself addicted to it because of the dopamine rush I would get after masturbation. But now I am getting older, I'm starting to see that dopamine is just basically a runner's high and I need to do more things in order to better myself on the emotional, spiritual, and mentally. For years I truly did do everything to myself in order to define myself, when it came to my sexuality, my manhood and other things. But I just wasn't truly accepting of what I was doing it was more of societal expectations of me doing the that which led to porn induced interests. I do have trans attraction, and I'm just now accepting it, but abstaining from adult material has caused me to see trans women as real women and not just objects. Once again my fantasies are very little, I basically just want to be friends with them and that's about as far as I want to get. There are some times where I would become attracted to someone but it's very seldom. I don't really know where I fit in a sexual Spectrum, I might be gray sexual but that would make sense but I'm definitely not a sexual I feel some sexual attraction but it's just not that much most of the time sex disgust me. I recall this one time where I went to a strip club trying to find myself and I end up having a nervous breakdown. I had an anxiety attack, I couldn't stay in the club, the girls freaked me out. I hid in the bathroom for 2 hours while people from my job were they're enjoying your time I was humiliated. Growing up I didn't really have any friends and I failed school. So I was homeschooled, I tried talking to girls at the mall on the weekend and a lot of them called me gay and fat and just pitied me. Even at my college that I am at, I`m currently about to graduate from with a bachelor's in psychology, I talked to very few people. It just seems like I just don't fit in. So I'm just wondering if I fit the asexual criteria and if I do which criteria do I fit under so that's it hopefully you guys will see more of me I've been thinking about this for a very long time and I hope you guys are nice to me okay bye guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Amber79 Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 Hi Angelsexual. Firstly there's nothing wrong with you, you're not broken or missing anything. Welcome to AVEN, by the sounds of it as you have experiencd some small amount of sexual attraction, you sound like grey ace. Try not to rush into labeling yourself, to be honest it takes most of us a bit of time to work out exactly what labels fit. It's better to give yourself plenty of room and time to work out who you are. There's plenty of information here and plenty of people who can share their experience and knowledge, and even a few jokes. Cake is like a handshake on this site so . I hope you find answers and friends here. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosendust Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 Welcome! I hope you enjoy your time here & I hope you find it as insightful as I have! @Angelsexual Regards, Rosendust Link to post Share on other sites
mak Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 Hello and welcome to the community! There is no set definition since everyone is a bit different and had different experiences so you will fit right in. No rush in figuring everything out. I have been on here a couple of months and I am still figuring things out. Glad you found us, have some cake in celebration! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 Welcome! Grey asexual might fit because asexuality isn’t the lack of sexual attraction, not desire or libido. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 Hi and welcome You've come to the right place! I always suggest not to worry about "labels" and just keep living your life instead. It sounds like you've been through a lot in earlier years, so relaxing sounds like a good idea You still might want to have a look into this thread with a lot of useful pointers: Whatever you'll end up finding out, we hope that you can make yourself a home on AVEN! I'm sure you'll enjoy being a part of AVEN Have some cake: Link to post Share on other sites
Angelsexual Posted April 23, 2018 Author Share Posted April 23, 2018 wow thanks for the cake and puzzles lol I`m practicing abstaining from porn, I`m addicted to it, im also practicing semen retention Its called nofap Link to post Share on other sites
Sana Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 On 22/04/2018 at 10:30 AM, Angelsexual said: Hey guys, so after taking a couple of asexual quizzes, I realize I might be asexual? I have spent the past month thinking about my youth, wondering where this all started. I am currently 29 years old and will be 30 in little over 2 weeks. I'm still a virgin and very much proud of it. I really don't want to get married. During my teen years I had very little crushes, in fact I really didn't start liking girls truly until I was about 20. if I did like someone it was really more of a enhance friendship, I just wanted to spend more time with them. Porn in the early years was a way for me to see humans interact, I was more interested in how they held hands, that was arousing, not the sexual act. I was exposed to porn at 6, back in 1994. I won't go into detail but it was very graphic and brutal. I was exposed by the neighborhood boys when I was growing up, even back then I was indifferent to the whole matter. As I became a teenager, I sort of liked one of my teachers, she was a thick girl and she wore pantyhose alot and I like pantyhose. It's one of the few things I like on girls, it's fact it's the only thing I like on girls. It can make me notice them and get aroused by them. Other than that I pretty much like no one and even when it came to my crush on my teacher back then it was incomplete. What I mean by this was I never truly really wanted to sleep with her, I just wanted to hold her and maybe touch her body. But that was really it, I wanted to feel on her legs and pantyhose and whatever but nothing really too deep. I can even think back in 2001 with his 18 year old girl name Susan. I never really thought about her and such an intimate manner. As a teenager I always feel kind of broken, like something was missing from my development even though I looked at porn for years. I wasn't really into it, I found myself addicted to it because of the dopamine rush I would get after masturbation. But now I am getting older, I'm starting to see that dopamine is just basically a runner's high and I need to do more things in order to better myself on the emotional, spiritual, and mentally. For years I truly did do everything to myself in order to define myself, when it came to my sexuality, my manhood and other things. But I just wasn't truly accepting of what I was doing it was more of societal expectations of me doing the that which led to porn induced interests. I do have trans attraction, and I'm just now accepting it, but abstaining from adult material has caused me to see trans women as real women and not just objects. Once again my fantasies are very little, I basically just want to be friends with them and that's about as far as I want to get. There are some times where I would become attracted to someone but it's very seldom. I don't really know where I fit in a sexual Spectrum, I might be gray sexual but that would make sense but I'm definitely not a sexual I feel some sexual attraction but it's just not that much most of the time sex disgust me. I recall this one time where I went to a strip club trying to find myself and I end up having a nervous breakdown. I had an anxiety attack, I couldn't stay in the club, the girls freaked me out. I hid in the bathroom for 2 hours while people from my job were they're enjoying your time I was humiliated. Growing up I didn't really have any friends and I failed school. So I was homeschooled, I tried talking to girls at the mall on the weekend and a lot of them called me gay and fat and just pitied me. Even at my college that I am at, I`m currently about to graduate from with a bachelor's in psychology, I talked to very few people. It just seems like I just don't fit in. So I'm just wondering if I fit the asexual criteria and if I do which criteria do I fit under so that's it hopefully you guys will see more of me I've been thinking about this for a very long time and I hope you guys are nice to me okay bye guys. When you say that your teacher was a “thick girl”, do you mean that you considered her your intellectual inferior or that she was heavily set? Either way it just seems like an odd way to talk about your teacher! Link to post Share on other sites
Angelsexual Posted May 20, 2018 Author Share Posted May 20, 2018 well my teacher was kind of heavy but she was endowed. :P I noticed her pantyhose and wanted to sit next to her and cuddle with her while she was in pantyhose. Thats pretty much it :) Link to post Share on other sites
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