The difference between sexual and sensual attraction

[ChanMaru]

Hello there! I'm just still wondering wether I'm asexual or not. The thing is that I don't usually feel attracted to people, sometimes I think people's cute or whatever but that's it (you know, usually). 

 

Sometimes, maybe once every two months I feel this weird thing. For example, I saw a gif today of a shirtless singer doing a bodyroll, and he has a really nice body, the way he was moving was really sensual. My first thought was that he looked really really good, then I felt a bit... attracted? To his body, 'cause he moves well and looks so fine but I didn't feel like having sex with him, but I felt I wanted him to dance to me like that, like I kinda want a sexy dance with him but that's all, I don't even want to kiss him. Isn't that too sexual to be sensual? Is it normal for an asexual to be this attracted to people? Let me know what you think, have a nice day!!

[The Gnat (Natalie)]

I guess for me it's more of a theory vs. practice thing. As in I can see a celebrity I think is hot and be like 'damn, I would,' but in reality, no, I absolutely would not. I guess as a general rule I'm down for hugging and such if I'm close to someone, I'm definitely not down for sex, and the idea of kissing someone really depends on the day. Maybe that's helpful? I don't know. I'm not that "touchy" of a person, so I tend to view pretty mundane things as more sensual than they probably are...

[Gldlynch]

Hey ChanMaru

 

First of all, welcome to AVEN! Make yourself at home (:

 

Second, I don't think what you are feeling is weird at all, it sounds like you are somewhere along the ace spectrum. When you think a person is "cute" or looks attractive, you are experiencing aesthetic attraction. The desire for kissing could be linked with romantic, sensual or sexual attraction. That's kind of a tricky one, it really depends on the how intense the emotion is. To my understanding, sexual is when private body parts become intimately involved, sensual is everything which leads up to the sexual. You could possibly be experiencing some grey-ace emotions (when the attractions only occurs occasionally).

[TheAP]

I don't think that is sexual, if you don't desire any sexual activities with him.

[Kersenne]

I feel the same way, I never want sex but I do feel attracted to men, only in a sensual way. I like physical contact, like cuddling and spooning and feelig someone's arms around me but that's the extent of it, I never want more.

Thus, I identify as an asexual with sensual attraction.

 

Perhaps its similar for you 😊

[Claire1983]

If your attraction was centered on his dancing prowess I don’t think that’s necessarily sexual. I definitely feel some excitement when I see attractive people who can move well, but I also feel a similar sensation when I see a work of art that resonates with me. So for me, I think the reaction I have toward attractive people stems mostly from aesthetic attraction. Sounds like in your example there’s some sensual attraction but if you don’t want to have sex with them that would be consistent with asexuality. You can still feel drawn to people in other ways.

[Someone Else]

"making out" could be a kind of sensuality, at least for some people, but it doesn't "go all the way," which would generally be sex. 

I _think_ I'm as physically and emotionally attracted to some women's forms as much as any sexual straight guy would be.  But the difference is that I'm not interested in any kind of genital activity, mine or others.  

I don't see it get used that much (other than in my own head) but I like the term "non-sexual eroticism."  

[InariYana]

4 hours ago, Someone Else said:

I don't see it get used that much (other than in my own head) but I like the term "non-sexual eroticism."  

I like this term! 

 

I watched a video today, of a male ballet dancer doing a pole dance and his body was so beautiful, like chiselled, and I thought "if only I could touch these muscles, touch these amazing legs..." It was hypnotizing. But would I think about having sex with him? Nope.    

[Someone Else]

19 minutes ago, InariYana said:

I like this term! 

 

I watched a video today, of a male ballet dancer doing a pole dance and his body was so beautiful, like chiselled, and I thought "if only I could touch these muscles, touch these amazing legs..." It was hypnotizing. But would I think about having sex with him? Nope.    

Yeah, that's it exactly.  I prefer non-sexual erotic to "sensual" because it's a little less... innocent.  Certainly a little more lust, and not necessarily romantic, but not going as far as actually sex. 

[Beaver Boy]

On 4/21/2018 at 1:23 AM, ChanMaru said:

Hello there! I'm just still wondering wether I'm asexual or not. The thing is that I don't usually feel attracted to people, sometimes I think people's cute or whatever but that's it (you know, usually). 

 

Sometimes, maybe once every two months I feel this weird thing. For example, I saw a gif today of a shirtless singer doing a bodyroll, and he has a really nice body, the way he was moving was really sensual. My first thought was that he looked really really good, then I felt a bit... attracted? To his body, 'cause he moves well and looks so fine but I didn't feel like having sex with him, but I felt I wanted him to dance to me like that, like I kinda want a sexy dance with him but that's all, I don't even want to kiss him. Isn't that too sexual to be sensual? Is it normal for an asexual to be this attracted to people? Let me know what you think, have a nice day!!

I consider myself to be ace, even though I think some people are hot / sexy. I just don't see sex as something I'd do to show my love for someone. So maybe I'm grey-a or something?

[Ousel]

Thanks for this example ChanMaru. I tried exploring something similar by watching Magic Mike XXL to see if I'd have pants feelings. The short answer is nope. I really liked the dancing because that's an art I enjoy, but when it got rather sexual I was waiting for the next scene. Same goes for my female friends who take various sexy performance classes and post videos. Defying gravity is pretty neat, but I'd rather watch modern dance. I've seen some folks around here talk about feeling attracted to celebrities, but not in a would really have sex with them way. Sounds like that's where you might be at.