ChanMaru

The difference between sexual and sensual attraction

Recommended Posts

ChanMaru

Hello there! I'm just still wondering wether I'm asexual or not. The thing is that I don't usually feel attracted to people, sometimes I think people's cute or whatever but that's it (you know, usually). 

 

Sometimes, maybe once every two months I feel this weird thing. For example, I saw a gif today of a shirtless singer doing a bodyroll, and he has a really nice body, the way he was moving was really sensual. My first thought was that he looked really really good, then I felt a bit... attracted? To his body, 'cause he moves well and looks so fine but I didn't feel like having sex with him, but I felt I wanted him to dance to me like that, like I kinda want a sexy dance with him but that's all, I don't even want to kiss him. Isn't that too sexual to be sensual? Is it normal for an asexual to be this attracted to people? Let me know what you think, have a nice day!!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Gnat (Natalie)

I guess for me it's more of a theory vs. practice thing. As in I can see a celebrity I think is hot and be like 'damn, I would,' but in reality, no, I absolutely would not. I guess as a general rule I'm down for hugging and such if I'm close to someone, I'm definitely not down for sex, and the idea of kissing someone really depends on the day. Maybe that's helpful? I don't know. I'm not that "touchy" of a person, so I tend to view pretty mundane things as more sensual than they probably are...

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gldlynch

Hey ChanMaru

 

First of all, welcome to AVEN! Make yourself at home (:

 

Second, I don't think what you are feeling is weird at all, it sounds like you are somewhere along the ace spectrum. When you think a person is "cute" or looks attractive, you are experiencing aesthetic attraction. The desire for kissing could be linked with romantic, sensual or sexual attraction. That's kind of a tricky one, it really depends on the how intense the emotion is. To my understanding, sexual is when private body parts become intimately involved, sensual is everything which leads up to the sexual. You could possibly be experiencing some grey-ace emotions (when the attractions only occurs occasionally).

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TheAP

I don't think that is sexual, if you don't desire any sexual activities with him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kersenne

I feel the same way, I never want sex but I do feel attracted to men, only in a sensual way. I like physical contact, like cuddling and spooning and feelig someone's arms around me but that's the extent of it, I never want more.

Thus, I identify as an asexual with sensual attraction.

 

Perhaps its similar for you 😊

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC

I mean, it sounds kinda sexual to me, but then again, if you don't actually desire partnered sexual activity with anyone and would not care if you went through life without having sex, that's what would make you asexual.

 

On the flip side of this, I literally never have any response to people's bodies (other than their faces) in the sense that I think they're "hot". I'm not turned on by bodies, nor do I feel a desire to be close to someone random who appears attractive or whatever. And I'm sexual. Seeing someone sexy-dancing or being sensual is gonna draw a blank from me. I do, however, have interest in sex with people I'm into, and (although I've never done it myself), I understand why people have casual sex just for the sake of sex. But sexy-looking bodies? No thanks, I'd rather admire some stunning photography or go on a hike in the woods and take in my surroundings. There are, of course, sexual people who are very different from myself and experience something like you do (probably with more overtly sexual feelings as well).

 

My point is, although being drawn to someone's body may be rooted in human sexuality, it probably doesn't determine whether you're sexual or asexual.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Claire1983

If your attraction was centered on his dancing prowess I don’t think that’s necessarily sexual. I definitely feel some excitement when I see attractive people who can move well, but I also feel a similar sensation when I see a work of art that resonates with me. So for me, I think the reaction I have toward attractive people stems mostly from aesthetic attraction. Sounds like in your example there’s some sensual attraction but if you don’t want to have sex with them that would be consistent with asexuality. You can still feel drawn to people in other ways.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Someone Else

"making out" could be a kind of sensuality, at least for some people, but it doesn't "go all the way," which would generally be sex. 

I _think_ I'm as physically and emotionally attracted to some women's forms as much as any sexual straight guy would be.  But the difference is that I'm not interested in any kind of genital activity, mine or others.  

I don't see it get used that much (other than in my own head) but I like the term "non-sexual eroticism."  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
InariYana
4 hours ago, Someone Else said:


I don't see it get used that much (other than in my own head) but I like the term "non-sexual eroticism."  

I like this term! 

 

I watched a video today, of a male ballet dancer doing a pole dance and his body was so beautiful, like chiselled, and I thought "if only I could touch these muscles, touch these amazing legs..." It was hypnotizing. But would I think about having sex with him? Nope.    

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Someone Else
19 minutes ago, InariYana said:

I like this term! 

 

I watched a video today, of a male ballet dancer doing a pole dance and his body was so beautiful, like chiselled, and I thought "if only I could touch these muscles, touch these amazing legs..." It was hypnotizing. But would I think about having sex with him? Nope.    

Yeah, that's it exactly.  I prefer non-sexual erotic to "sensual" because it's a little less... innocent.  Certainly a little more lust, and not necessarily romantic, but not going as far as actually sex. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Beaver Boy
On 4/21/2018 at 1:23 AM, ChanMaru said:

Hello there! I'm just still wondering wether I'm asexual or not. The thing is that I don't usually feel attracted to people, sometimes I think people's cute or whatever but that's it (you know, usually). 

 

Sometimes, maybe once every two months I feel this weird thing. For example, I saw a gif today of a shirtless singer doing a bodyroll, and he has a really nice body, the way he was moving was really sensual. My first thought was that he looked really really good, then I felt a bit... attracted? To his body, 'cause he moves well and looks so fine but I didn't feel like having sex with him, but I felt I wanted him to dance to me like that, like I kinda want a sexy dance with him but that's all, I don't even want to kiss him. Isn't that too sexual to be sensual? Is it normal for an asexual to be this attracted to people? Let me know what you think, have a nice day!!

I consider myself to be ace, even though I think some people are hot / sexy. I just don't see sex as something I'd do to show my love for someone. So maybe I'm grey-a or something?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ousel

Thanks for this example ChanMaru. I tried exploring something similar by watching Magic Mike XXL to see if I'd have pants feelings. The short answer is nope. I really liked the dancing because that's an art I enjoy, but when it got rather sexual I was waiting for the next scene. Same goes for my female friends who take various sexy performance classes and post videos. Defying gravity is pretty neat, but I'd rather watch modern dance. I've seen some folks around here talk about feeling attracted to celebrities, but not in a would really have sex with them way. Sounds like that's where you might be at. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now