#GenderProblems

[Taylor Lilith]

47 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

did joke with Mezzo about big ones.  I told him about how I've seen an 8 inch one and he's like dang, that's totally not proportional to me!  😆

Is this a #genderproblem?

 

I'm gonna spoiler my question because of possible tmi. 

Spoiler

Cuz when I had the discussion with the boyfriend about there is good pain and bad pain and being ripped in half is bad pain he said he shoots for 7". He's allosexual and has much experience in buying such things. He's 5'2" but does seem taller. I'm wondering if that has to do with posture or something. But is proportionality actually that important?

 

To those of you that don't want to read the TMI. Here's something else. Counter to what I said in the aro subforum, it's likely we'll be dating again. I had to think about it and I realized that I was going about it wrong. Yay for a confusing AF sexuality!

 

Also he's trans, if that wasn't obvious. So, yay for trans men being men!  You're usually so much better about treating trans partners with respect than the alternative! 

 

I only say usually because I have met a trans man who used trans misogyny and invalidation of trans women and non binary peeps to feel more manly. So like 99.99% of the time. 

[nerdperson777]

57 minutes ago, Taylor Lilith said:

Is this a #genderproblem?

 

I'm gonna spoiler my question because of possible tmi. 

  Hide contents

Cuz when I had the discussion with the boyfriend about there is good pain and bad pain and being ripped in half is bad pain he said he shoots for 7". He's allosexual and has much experience in buying such things. He's 5'2" but does seem taller. I'm wondering if that has to do with posture or something. But is proportionality actually that important?

 

To those of you that don't want to read the TMI. Here's something else. Counter to what I said in the aro subforum, it's likely we'll be dating again. I had to think about it and I realized that I was going about it wrong. Yay for a confusing AF sexuality!

 

Also he's trans, if that wasn't obvious. So, yay for trans men being men!  You're usually so much better about treating trans partners with respect than the alternative! 

 

I only say usually because I have met a trans man who used trans misogyny and invalidation of trans women and non binary peeps to feel more manly. So like 99.99% of the time. 

Well, I guess not really.  The goal hasn't been "get the big one", for either one of us.  It's possible that confidence can make someone seem taller.  Confidence can be shown in one's posture.  Who knows if proportionality matters.  I read that there's no real correlation between person size and junk size.

 

The manly trans men can be a problem.  They validate themselves but not others.  I've seen some and it's basically acting like a "normal" cis male, which comes with some toxic behaviors.

[Fluffy Femme Guy]

On 4/28/2018 at 2:02 AM, Pixley said:

This community needs shopping buddies, I swear. My heart aches when I read about this kind of stuff. UGH. 

 

Cis guys for the AFABS, and cis girls for the AMABS. 

 

They would be like our knowledgeable, friendly tour guides to the world of their gender, and our backup/support for awkward situations like this. 

 

*sigh* #friendgoals

I'm a cis-guy who got to teach a trans-girl how to shop.
As a child I got dragged around in clothing stores during mall trips with my mother, so I'm actually pretty comfortable hanging out in the ladies sections, and I know how the whole process works.
 

On 5/13/2018 at 2:18 AM, Pixley said:

Ugh. Why are most men’s clothes so dull?

 

✨MY BOY SIDE WANTS TO SPARKLE DAMMIT.✨

Indeed!

[PixleyDust✨]

On 9/4/2018 at 2:59 AM, Ms. Carolynne said:

@Pixley @Taylor Lilith

 

I'm at a loss for words, you two are crazy 🤣

 

I'm relatively innocent, I don't think I've had any risque moments like that.

 

Well, except that one time I was watching, uh, pr0n and my brother walked in on me. I just closed that shit ASAP, and acted like I was doing something else, hoping he didn't see anything 😳

 

Damn it, I just invalidated my innocence 😬

 

I haven't achieved accidentally sharing embarrassing pictures or browser history though.

 

So yeah, I'm basically still an angel 😇

Show off. 😆

 

I’m not into BDSM myself, but I have a friend on Facebook who is (also Genderfluid what what) and they love to post that stuff ALL THE TIME. It’s hilarious and pretty informative I guess since there was nothing Taylor said that I had to look up. 

 

I even took a quiz they posted once. Apparently, in BDSM culture, I’m both vanilla and bratty. Go figure. 😆

 

With my kid heart, I’m still pretty innocent for the most part, what with my all-consuming love for sugar, cartoons, and stuffed animals (I literally have a giant plushy piggy bank for all my candy), but I do cop to my adult brain having a less than...wholesome imagination. 

 

I blame my high school hentai and yaoi phases. 🤣

 

 

And I understand being caught with Pr0n there, but worse because it was a shared laptop my siblings and I shared back in high school. I had used it the night before until the battery died, (so nothing was actually closed out) so when my Mom went to use it the next day...

 

Didn’t help that I tried pinning it on my brothers...and failed. Miserably. 

 

*sigh* 

 

 

 

I honestly don’t know how I survived that.

 

Seriously, how the fuck am I alive? 🤣

[PixleyDust✨]

On 9/4/2018 at 10:36 PM, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

I'm a cis-guy who got to teach a trans-girl how to shop.
As a child I got dragged around in clothing stores during mall trips with my mother, so I'm actually pretty comfortable hanging out in the ladies sections, and I know how the whole process works.
 

Indeed!

My fellow Gender Rebels, behold...

 

THE CHOSEN ONE. 😱✨

 

[InfiniteNull]

On 9/7/2018 at 12:52 AM, Pixley said:

Show off. 😆

 

I’m not into BDSM myself, [...] With my kid heart, I’m still pretty innocent for the most part, what with my all-consuming love for sugar, cartoons, and stuffed animals (I literally have a giant plushy piggy bank for all my candy), [...]

There's a kink for that 

 

🤣

 

So my #genderproblem yesterday... this one might be a little TMI... so

A little over a month on HRT... bought some fake boobies for while I wait for things to grow... but nipples are super sensitive so having all that extra contact is a bit much... especially for a whole day of it.

[Taylor Lilith]

On 9/6/2018 at 10:52 PM, Pixley said:

even took a quiz they posted once. Apparently, in BDSM culture, I’m both vanilla and bratty. Go figure. 😆

I'm a true submissive.  I'm a pet.  My stature in a BDSM relationship is called property. 

 

AND

 

I pour straight up gasoline on doms libidos. Evidently my form of submission combined with my being monogamous, ace, and sex and romance repulsed to everyone else makes all the other doms insanely jealous 🤷‍♀️

 

 

can be bratty tho. I'm like a 99 % submissive 1% brat. 

 

 

 

On 9/6/2018 at 10:52 PM, Pixley said:

With my kid heart, I’m still pretty innocent for the most part, what with my all-consuming love for sugar, cartoons, and stuffed animals

There IS a kink for that. If you get off on being cutesy and childish....it's called ageplay and that would make you a "little". 

[PixleyDust✨]

7 hours ago, Taylor Lilith said:

I pour straight up gasoline on doms libidos.

That line KILLED ME IT BEING SO AWESOME. 🤣

 

7 hours ago, Taylor Lilith said:

There IS a kink for that. If you get off on being cutesy and childish....it's called ageplay and that would make you a "little". 

And nah. I mean, I’ve heard of that, but I don’t fit it because I don’t actually get off on it or anything. I just genuinely enjoy those things because I really am a “kid-at-heart” kind of person. 

 

Also because I believe there’s no reason you can’t be a practical adult AND have fun, be a goofball, etc. That wisdom can come from anywhere, age doesn’t guarantee wisdom, childlike curiosity/wonder/innocence can be a wonderful thing, blah blah blah, you get it. 😆

 

It’s all just part of my personality. 😊✨

[PixleyDust✨]

16 hours ago, InfiniteNull said:

There's a kink for that 

 

🤣

 

So my #genderproblem yesterday... this one might be a little TMI... so

 

  Hide contents

A little over a month on HRT... bought some fake boobies for while I wait for things to grow... but nipples are super sensitive so having all that extra contact is a bit much... especially for a whole day of it.

 

So, I’ve heard. 🤣

 

And yeah, I feel that. That’s why I need to wear something between me and my shirt when I go out, be it sports bra or binder. 

 

Spoiler

I’m not sure if it’s true for everyone, but I know feminine nipples really are extremely sensitive creatures. Getting turned on in the middle of grocery shopping because your clothes are rubbing against you because you were too lazy put on your sports bra. Yep. Not embarrassing.

 

NOT EVEN A LITTLE. 😳

 

Like, COULD YOU NOT? I’M TRYING TO PICK OUT A CEREAL HERE. 🤣

 

[Taylor Lilith]

1 hour ago, Pixley said:

That line KILLED ME IT BEING SO AWESOME. 🤣

It'll probably kill you more if you know what the match for that fire is,

 

"Yes sir. Good girls always follow orders."

 

Evidently I'm hot er something?   

[PixleyDust✨]

1 minute ago, Taylor Lilith said:

It'll probably kill you more if you know what the match for that fire is,

 

"Yes sir. Good girls always follow orders."

 

Evidently I'm hot er something?   

R.I.P ME. 😇

[Fluffy Femme Guy]

58 minutes ago, Pixley said:

I need to wear something between me and my shirt when I go out, be it sports bra or binder. 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

I’m not sure if it’s true for everyone, but I know feminine nipples really are extremely sensitive creatures. Getting turned on in the middle of grocery shopping because your clothes are rubbing against you because you were too lazy put on your sports bra. Yep. Not embarrassing.

 

NOT EVEN A LITTLE. 😳

 

Like, COULD YOU NOT? I’M TRYING TO PICK OUT A CEREAL HERE. 🤣

 

It's actually pretty common for those to be sensitive, I'm not sure about the physical reaction bit though.

[PixleyDust✨]

22 minutes ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

It's actually pretty common for those to be sensitive, I'm not sure about the physical reaction bit though.

Yeah, the physical reaction bit is...awkward to say the least. 

 

In terms of physiology, I’d say it’s comparable to sneezing because something tickled/irritated your nose. Just a typical reaction to stimulation, totally mundane. You’re good.

 

Sociologically, well...I’d rather have an itchy nose. 🤣

 

Edit: Probably doesn’t help that I’m also already incredibly sensitive in general to begin with being touch-phobic, socially anxious, and EXTREMELY ticklish (I have actually kicked someone in the ribs before when they were tickling me because it was EXTRAORDINARILY unpleasant. I felt bad, but also...I DID tell you stop, yo.) 🤣

[Taylor Lilith]

I was going to quote someone but this is actually a genderproblem. 

 

Why on earth are girl clothes so thin?!  Like even the thinnest of guy shirts ZERO nipple blades average thickness of girl shirts?  Instant nipple blades even when it's warm. I carry medical tape in my purse. People assume I'm a medical professional sometimes when I pull it out at work because someone is bleeding.  No it's for nipple blades... and also tucking...but we're talking about girl shirts not skirts. 

 

Sometimes I look down at the end of a long day and go why tf is there tape over my nipples?!  Then go...oh. 

 

Thin shirts are a genderproblem. 

 

 

[PixleyDust✨]

17 minutes ago, Taylor Lilith said:

I was going to quote someone but this is actually a genderproblem. 

 

Why on earth are girl clothes so thin?!  Like even the thinnest of guy shirts ZERO nipple blades average thickness of girl shirts?  Instant nipple blades even when it's warm. I carry medical tape in my purse. People assume I'm a medical professional sometimes when I pull it out at work because someone is bleeding.  No it's for nipple blades... and also tucking...but we're talking about girl shirts not skirts. 

 

Sometimes I look down at the end of a long day and go why tf is there tape over my nipples?!  Then go...oh. 

 

Thin shirts are a genderproblem. 

 

 

THANK YOU. This has actually been studied and the conclusion was that girl’s/women’s clothing is actually 10% thinner than boy’s/men’s clothes. 

 

I mean just check out the difference between a woman’s flannel shirt and a men’s flannel shirt. I’ll give you one guess as to which one would ACTUALLY keep you warm. 

 

Women’s fashion seems to favor form over function and it’s complete BS. People wearing this clothing get cold too, damn it. And not all of us are cool with potential highbeams or having to layer shit. I mean, there’s no reason you can’t make something both pretty AND practical. 🙄

 

Seriously, can’t I just buy a shirt from that section of the store that ISN’T see-through or won’t help me freeze to death? SHEESH. 

 

*throws hands up in the air and walks over to the men’s section* 🤣

[Taylor Lilith]

20 minutes ago, Pixley said:

THANK YOU. This has actually been studied and the conclusion was that girl’s/women’s clothing is actually 10% thinner than boy’s/men’s clothes. 

 

I mean just check out the difference between a woman’s flannel shirt and a men’s flannel shirt. I’ll give you one guess as to which one would ACTUALLY keep you warm. 

 

Women’s fashion seems to favor form over function and it’s complete BS. People wearing this clothing get cold too, damn it. And not all of us are cool with potential highbeams or having to layer shit. I mean, there’s no reason you can’t make something both pretty AND practical. 🙄

 

Seriously, can’t I just buy a shirt from that section of the store that ISN’T see-through or won’t help me freeze to death? SHEESH. 

 

*throws hands up in the air and walks over to the men’s section* 🤣

IKR?!  Like it's not just the fancy shirts either vnecks that are like the same thing in appearance and shape are like, "These are my nipples.  This is my life now."

 

I do like the feel of women's clothing and shape and style though and a lot of people love things with pockets but I could care less. I love my purse.  I don't like pockets.  Having absolutely nothing in my pockets lightens my pants makes my arse look as perky and femme as possible  and I love it .  You can take my purse from my dead, trans femme hands. 

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I'm agender male-aligned but I've had the same Dalmatian puppy purse for over 10 years; I can't bear to throw it away even though it's got holes in (and fails spectacularly at change-holding)

[Guest]

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to decide whether or not I want to take T when I’m older, because my ideal body switches between male and genderless whenever my gender changes.

[Taylor Lilith]

8 minutes ago, nelpogrando said:

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to decide whether or not I want to take T when I’m older, because my ideal body switches between male and genderless whenever my gender changes.

How bad is your dysphoria?

[nerdperson777]

On 9/9/2018 at 4:16 AM, InfiniteNull said:

There's a kink for that 

 

🤣

 

So my #genderproblem yesterday... this one might be a little TMI... so

 

  Reveal hidden contents

A little over a month on HRT... bought some fake boobies for while I wait for things to grow... but nipples are super sensitive so having all that extra contact is a bit much... especially for a whole day of it.

 

My second month on T was annoying just because my genitals were too hypersensitive for sitting.

 

[Suigin]

Me walking around in the city and some kid yelling "look at that girl, mommy! Her hair is blue!" and my first reaction being 'ooo I wanna see who has blue hair like me'. And then realising that the kid is talking about me 😕

 

#GenderProblems

[Guest]

On 9/10/2018 at 3:24 PM, Taylor Lilith said:

How bad is your dysphoria?

It varies a lot; I have three intensity ranges that I switch between. There’s a low background level that I pretty much always have where if I look at my sex characteristics for more than a few seconds I feel like they aren’t really mine, coupled with a sort of morbid fascination where I don’t want to look but can’t help myself, a medium level that’s basicallly the same as the background level but a little more intense, sometimes with mild dissociation, and then there’s the high level where I can’t take my clothes off for any longer than it takes to change into something else and where I want to curl up into a ball under a blanket and hide from my body while doing whatever I can to distract myself. Fortunately, the high level is rare, although it’s unpredictable. I’m usually at either the background or medium level. Lately I’ve been at the low end of the medium level.

[PixleyDust✨]

On 9/9/2018 at 11:07 PM, Taylor Lilith said:

IKR?!  Like it's not just the fancy shirts either vnecks that are like the same thing in appearance and shape are like, "These are my nipples.  This is my life now."

 

I do like the feel of women's clothing and shape and style though and a lot of people love things with pockets but I could care less. I love my purse.  I don't like pockets.  Having absolutely nothing in my pockets lightens my pants makes my arse look as perky and femme as possible  and I love it .  You can take my purse from my dead, trans femme hands. 

Opposite here. I. LOVE. POCKETS.

 

Not comfortable with purses, or more, the expectation that I’m supposed to use them. But also just not comfortable either, too feminine. I can be very practical-minded when it comes to accessorizing, and have a deep appreciation for accessories that are useful as well as versatile (knapsacks, string athletic bags, backpacks, etc.) over something that’s just aesthetically pleasing. 

 

But that’s not to say I won’t squee if I see something really cute, and that I’ve never purchased something like...a little, fluffy, baby chicken that I promptly tied a little yellow bow on, put onto a keychain, clipped onto my backpack or whatever I was using that day, and named it Mr. Cheepers all because it was small, fluffy and cheeped when I pushed on its tummy, but otherwise had no practical usage whatsoever. Actually ironic, considering it was like $9 which, for a little, plushy Easter toy, isn’t very...cheap. 😏

 

*ba dum tiss* Thank you, thank you.

 

But honestly, I just wish they made pockets on women’s clothes the same as they make on men’s clothes so that the people who wear women’s clothes can choose between using pockets OR purses, instead of practically making purses a necessity. 

 

That way, people not super into purses or are going to be doing something where a purse may not be so convenient, etc. can use their pockets while still being able to rock the clothes they want to rock, that better fits them, they better identify with, etc.

 

Although, I’m not the right person to advocate for this, since I don’t wear men’s pants just because they’re more practical. I genuinely feel better in them than women’s pants. But I know there are people who do and wish the clothes they more closely identify with were more versatile in this sense. Like in a “they resent being forced to sacrifice style for practicality” kind of way.

 

But seriously, the other day, I was out and about wearing my favorite pair of Men’s chinos, with my card clip and house keys/lanyard in one pocket, phone in the other, and got super giddy putting the stick of Jolly Rancher lip balm I just purchased as a little gift for my Mom in one of my back pockets along with a three pack of pop rocks in the other back pocket because, despite all this stuff taking up space in every single pocket, I could still move totally freely and still look good.

 

Plus it left my hands free to carry my Icee and the Mountain Dew Code Red I bought to drink later.

 

Yeah. 

 

I might have been on a slight...sugar bender that

day. 😅

 

But I felt so accomplished in that moment. 

 

I love being able to overcome little challenges like that. Didn’t have to worry about how I was going to carry everything and how it was going to make my walk home a gigantic pain in the ass because my pockets just swept in and were like,

 

 “It’s okay, we got you fam”. *tongue click* 👉👉

 

That was a good day. 🤣

[Noko42]

Couldn’t resists adding to the pocket problems lol 

 

*sneaks back to CAPSLOCKIA, my job here is done*

[nerdperson777]

I guess I'm still not accustomed to male socialization. The intern at my work had his last day and was leaving to go back to school. I internally freaked out when he did the bro handshake where they slap into it. I still don't get how this works and I get nervous that I don't do these correctly. I've done the wrong handshake several times before because I didn't know which one it was. 

[Taylor Lilith]

3 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I guess I'm still not accustomed to male socialization. The intern at my work had his last day and was leaving to go back to school. I internally freaked out when he did the bro handshake where they slap into it. I still don't get how this works and I get nervous that I don't do these correctly. I've done the wrong handshake several times before because I didn't know which one it was. 

I usually get "you're a girl so you get a normal hug" these days, however, the other day I got the handshake + quasihug + back patting maneuver the other day.  I seriously messed it up.  It's really confusing, why can't bros just hug like evvvveryone else?

[Taylor Lilith]

7 hours ago, Pixley said:

But honestly, I just wish they made pockets on women’s clothes the same as they make on men’s clothes so that the people who wear women’s clothes can choose between using pockets OR purses, instead of practically making purses a necessity. 

^^^ THIS ^^^

7 hours ago, Pixley said:

But seriously, the other day, I was out and about wearing my favorite pair of Men’s chinos, with my card clip and house keys/lanyard in one pocket, phone in the other, and got super giddy putting the stick of Jolly Rancher lip balm I just purchased as a little gift for my Mom in one of my back pockets along with a three pack of pop rocks in the other back pocket because, despite all this stuff taking up space in every single pocket, I could still move totally freely and still look good.

I love doing random pirouettes and twirls and stuff and do so frequently, it catches people at a loss sometimes, "Why did that dude move exactly like a woman and not give a single f**K?!", and I can still carry two changes of clothes, a drawing pad, a Kindle, everything I used to hold in my pockets + everything I always wanted to keep in my pockets but couldn't because men's pockets are still not up to snuff imo.  They're big but there shape means you have to put everything in them in the reverse order of which you expect to take them out.  This is like 13 inches by 13 inches.  It's an old picture tho.  Those pronouns are she/her now.

 

[Taylor Lilith]

If they want to make girl clothes with pockets, cool, I'm all for them, I still won't use them.  I am pro-put pockets on girl clothes even tho I am relatively unaffected. *whispers* does that make me a pocket ally? *ends whispering*

[Anthracite_Impreza]

5 hours ago, Taylor Lilith said:

If they want to make girl clothes with pockets, cool, I'm all for them, I still won't use them.  I am pro-put pockets on girl clothes even tho I am relatively unaffected. *whispers* does that make me a pocket ally? *ends whispering*

All the pockets. I need pockets.

 

Oh and I'd rather no one hug, or shake hands. No physical contact is required just stop expecting it from me.

[nerdperson777]

One time when we were leaving my uncle's house, one of my cousins gave my parents each hugs. When he got to me, he paused and gave me a fist bump. Later dad complained to me that the hug made him feel old and he would rather have the fist bump.