Need help Posted April 21, 2018 Share Posted April 21, 2018 Hey guys, well obviously from the title you can tell I’m confused. And I know no one but me will be able to determine what my sexuality is but I have 0 clue. So basically I have been in love with someone for the past five years but that’s it. As in I have never liked anyone else and I have never been in a relationship. I dont know if that’s whatever people would describe as your basic, normal heterosexual love life. Whenever my friends talk about guys they like I always feel so left out because I can never relate to what they’re talking about. I don’t find them to even be attractive I just feel so empty towards them. But I don’t want to be asexual. I want to be in a relationship and have a boyfriend, I like the idea of romance. I wouldn’t say I’m asexual either because I like the idea of sex I just can’t imagine myself having sex because it all just seems so strange. Its all just just so confusing please could someone tell me if they’ve had a similar experience or if they have any kind of ideas it would mean so much to me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
quietcrayon Posted April 21, 2018 Share Posted April 21, 2018 You're right, I can't tell you sexuality, however hopefully this information could be helpful??: -You can be asexual and like the idea of sex, and/or enjoy it -You can also be sex-repulsed or find sex confusing and be asexual - however if this is true to you that doesn't mean you ARE ace either -You can like and desire romance and be asexual - theres also romantic asexuals who are still attracted to people in a romantic way but not sexual -Asexuality is a spectrum, a large part of the community are people who don't often experience sexual or romantic attraction - Such as demisexuals who only experience attraction after a strong emotional bond - Gray-asexuals who very infrequently experience attraction (this seems close to what you described as you said you have only been in love with one person) As someone who has never experienced romantic or sexual attraction before I can't share directly from experience, but someone else here can I'm sure, good luck with your self discovery though and remember theres no rush to find a perfect label! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Claire1983 Posted April 21, 2018 Share Posted April 21, 2018 It can be very confusing, but just know that being asexual (or any variation there of) doesn't mean you can't have a relationship and romance. There are different types of attraction, sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, and it can be a bit difficult to tell what you're feeling sometimes and it's not always black and white. Romantic and sexual orientations are separate. You can be asexual and still want a relationship. If you've only even been in love with one person, then perhaps look into demi-romantic or something related. As for the sexual part, it can be very hard to figure out but the root of it is, do you experience sexual attraction? You can still like the idea of sex, enjoy sex scenes in movies and books and things like that but not really feel drawn to people in a sexual way. There's also gray asexual where you may experience sexual attraction, but rarely or only under certain circumstances. Take your time, read up on things talk to people and see what clicks. Good luck! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Need help Posted April 22, 2018 Author Share Posted April 22, 2018 Hey thanks guys that’s given me some better insight into my sexuality. It also doesn’t seem so daunting and terrifying anymore. I’d like to say that I’m a gray asexual. I looked up into it more and I’d definitely say I’d relate to it but I think I’m gonna wait a while before saying that I’m 100% certain that’s what I am Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MrDane Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 On 21/4/2018 at 2:44 AM, Need help said: Hey guys, well obviously from the title you can tell I’m confused. And I know no one but me will be able to determine what my sexuality is but I have 0 clue. So basically I have been in love with someone for the past five years but that’s it. As in I have never liked anyone else and I have never been in a relationship. I dont know if that’s whatever people would describe as your basic, normal heterosexual love life. Whenever my friends talk about guys they like I always feel so left out because I can never relate to what they’re talking about. I don’t find them to even be attractive I just feel so empty towards them. But I don’t want to be asexual. I want to be in a relationship and have a boyfriend, I like the idea of romance. I wouldn’t say I’m asexual either because I like the idea of sex I just can’t imagine myself having sex because it all just seems so strange. Its all just just so confusing please could someone tell me if they’ve had a similar experience or if they have any kind of ideas it would mean so much to me Im married to an ace. We have three kids and plan/expect to stay together forever. Sex and romance has always been an issue. I dont think she has ever considered me hot or sexy. It is not natural for her to kiss and hug the love of her life. (Me) it is natural for her to hug and kiss the kids. Perhaps you find someone who you really want to stay with and build a future. If that person is sexual, then you migth want to find out if you can participate in sexual activities and hopefully even find it nice. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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