P-Dandy Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 I’ve always felt a bit… well, different from those around me, especially in regards to sexuality and physical attraction. The “hot” television stars and manga/book characters that my peers were constantly doting over did absolutely nothing for me. I never had a celebrity crush, nor did I fantasize about others in the same ways that my friends did. I naturally attributed these differences to the strict religious teachings that my parents had been hammering deep into my psyche since the dawn of my existence. You know, stuff like: “Pleasurable sex is fornication, and fornication is a SIN! Sex’s only TRUE purpose is for procreation, and it should ONLY be done by husbands and wives! Porn is the Devil’s work! Masturbation is the Devil’s work!! To love sex is to love Satan!!!” … Yeah. To make matters worse, I had been sexually abused as a child and was sexually assaulted as a teenager, causing me to not only dislike sex as an activity, but to also resent any form of sexual attention that I received. I received counseling/therapy for the traumatic experiences I had undergone as well as the brainwashing my parents had bestowed upon me, during which I was reassured by a slew of professionals that sex was “fun” and my natural desire for it would return as time passed and my wounds healed. Well… Time has passed, my wounds have healed, and my desire for sex is still non-existent. Maybe I just need to be more open and vulnerable with my partners, that should fix the problem… Maybe I just haven’t met the right person… Maybe my parents were right… Maybe things will change… Maybe not. After 4 failed relationships and 1 current marriage, my life changed. I stumbled upon a show where someone briefly discussed being asexual, and suddenly it clicked! “OMG! That’s me!!!” I can’t even begin to describe how relieved I am, how amazing it feels to know that I’m not alone, that I’m not broken, and that there is an entire community filled with people who feel just as I do! I’m so glad to have found this site, and I look forward to learning more about asexuality! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 Welcome! I’m glad to hear that you’re getting thing back on track. It sounds like a tough time, but you’ve got us now, and we’ll support you no matter what Link to post Share on other sites
CasperJ Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 Welcome to AVEN, it sounds like you’ve had a pretty rough time with your sexuality before discovering what being ace is. I hope everything will smooth out a bit now that you have found this part of yourself. If you ever need to talk or ask questions, the community on AVEN will always be happy to help Here is some welcome cake Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 Hi and welcome Eeep, it sounds like you've been through a lot! It's good to figure things out once one has got a clear view. The "maybes" you mention seem to get thrown around quite a lot... sometimes things do change, but sometimes they don't and it's okay either way, as long as you're comfortable with it so yeah, you're definitely not alone. A lot of people on here will be able to relate to your thoughts and feelings! Feel free to explore the forums and if you have any questions, ask away! We're always happy to help each other out Meanwhile, enjoy some cake: Link to post Share on other sites
A.R.B. Posted April 22, 2018 Share Posted April 22, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
P-Dandy Posted May 2, 2018 Author Share Posted May 2, 2018 Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
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