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Belonging where there is no place to belong


Chocolatastic AroAce

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Chocolatastic AroAce

I'm posting here today because I think I need to get this weight off me.

 

I'm nearly 30 and for the longest time I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Growing up in the nineties the options seemed to only be 'Straight or Gay'.  I never knew the word for it until much later but I knew I was different. Sex and relationships to me seem like and ancient language that I can't decipher. It always confused me how people in movies decided to 'hook up' after barely any interaction aside from monster killing together. Real life interactions left me just as confused.

 

When I was a kid/teen people would always tell me I just hadn't found 'the one' or I would get it once I got older. Now that I am older though, I know that it's never going to happen. My siblings are all of chasing their dreams which include dating.....and every day I just feel more like I am some how broken. I never told my parents because I didn't know how...something that I can't ever go back and do.

 

I think I'm an Ace....

 

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SparkyCat13

Welcome to AVEN! I'm so sorry to hear you've had struggles over the years. You'll find you're definitely not alone here, and we're all here for each other! There seems to be several around our age (I'm 27!) as well as teenagers, and up to people in their 50's even! There's secretly a lot of us, even if it doesn't seem like it most of the time (we are ninjas like that). You're definitely not broken, just different. And that's okay! So are we!

 

Image result for heart cake

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I understand about growing up in the 90's and not knowing asexual was an option.  I was absolutely sure I wasn't a lesbian so the only other choice was straight.  I didn't learn about asexuality until I was 33.  Welcome.  I hope you find what you need.

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andreas1033

Yep before the net, we had to work out this stuff for ourselves.

 

I would think people whom are asexual do alot more soul searching then most. When you do not fit in, its only naturally you want to understand yourself.

 

Like above said, if your asexual your not broken, you are what you are, and its wrong to think being asexual is a broken human.

 

Lots of people can hook up straight away as you say, just as much as those that need time to let people grow on them.

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Chocolatastic AroAce
3 hours ago, Linz13 said:

Welcome to AVEN! I'm so sorry to hear you've had struggles over the years. You'll find you're definitely not alone here, and we're all here for each other! There seems to be several around our age (I'm 27!) as well as teenagers, and up to people in their 50's even! There's secretly a lot of us, even if it doesn't seem like it most of the time (we are ninjas like that). You're definitely not broken, just different. And that's okay! So are we!

 

Image result for heart cake

Thanks that actually makes me really happy. The cake looks good, shame it isn't a real one. :)

Seems like I have a lot to take in but at least I'm not alone.

 

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NickyTannock

@Ameline257 Welcome to AVEN!


I know what you mean when you say that sex and relationships to you seem like an ancient language that you can't decipher.
Growing up I was often hearing comments relating to sexual attraction, and they always left me bewildered.
I've known since my early teens that people were feeling something I wasn't.
I never told my family either, though I'm out online and to my friends.
And I joined AVEN out of a growing feeling of isolation and loneliness due to being Asexual.
What I'm trying to say is, I can relate.
Rainbow-cake-700.jpg
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Welcome! You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with not understanding those kinds of relationships. Most of the movie stuff is a little farfetched anyway. You don’t need a partner to be happy, you can have a relationship without sex, and there are still people out there who will date you, it’s not the end of the world, there’s still plenty of opportunities :) 

c3.jpg

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
19 hours ago, Ameline257 said:

I'm posting here today because I think I need to get this weight off me.

 

I'm nearly 30 and for the longest time I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Growing up in the nineties the options seemed to only be 'Straight or Gay'.  I never knew the word for it until much later but I knew I was different. Sex and relationships to me seem like and ancient language that I can't decipher. It always confused me how people in movies decided to 'hook up' after barely any interaction aside from monster killing together. Real life interactions left me just as confused.

 

When I was a kid/teen people would always tell me I just hadn't found 'the one' or I would get it once I got older. Now that I am older though, I know that it's never going to happen. My siblings are all of chasing their dreams which include dating.....and every day I just feel more like I am some how broken. I never told my parents because I didn't know how...something that I can't ever go back and do.

 

I think I'm an Ace....

 

Hello & welcome :)

 

choc-chip-candy-cane-ice-cream-cake-1104

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Hey there, welcome to AVEN! :cake::D

 

I'm glad you found your way here ( better late than never I'd say ) and it sounds like you had a bit of a bumpy journey to get to where you are now. I'm sorry to hear that you had to live with those feelings for so long because asexuality wasn't known back then. Luckily, more resources are available nowadays and I hope you know that you definitely aren't broken. Asexuality is valid. You are valid, and there is a whole community of supportive people of all ages here who understand your experiences and/or are ready to support you if you need it. 

 

Have some cake!

 

Image result for cake

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Hi and welcome :)

 

Well, it looks like you've found a place to belong! AVEN is full of wonderful people who are always willing to support each other and help each other out. You're right, asexuality wasn't really a thing back in the 90s (the only time I came across that term, it was basically described as people being sex repulsed). I never really got the "hookup culture" either - I always asked myself "Why would you want to do this when you could be friends?" :D You'll find that a lot of us have made similar experiences and share relatable thoughts.

 

I'm sure you'll enjoy being a part of AVEN! Have some more cake:

 

21COOKING-CHOCOLATECAKE1-videoSixteenByN

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