Artists & Aesthetic Attraction

[smittyw]

Hello all! To start out, I welcome responses from anybody who can relate to this whether or not you consider yourself an artist. But to be fair, I'm sure you are an artist in your own way! ^^ Bob Ross would certainly agree...

 

Anyway. To get to my point here: one of my major problems in figuring out my romantic leanings is that I mostly experience aesthetic attraction to people regardless of gender. I very often look at others and think "I just really want to draw them! I like their features, their body type, their fashion choices, their hairstyle, etc." I enjoy looking at people who are attractive either by conventional measures or just because they have an interesting/unique appearance, and I am wondering if this is common among artistically-minded people. Again this sounds pretentious and I could be wrong, maybe there is little connection between artists and frequent or strong aesthetic attraction. But there's only one way to find out, and that is to ask people about their own experiences! So here I am. Feel free to comment and share any stories you have :))

[The Gnat (Natalie)]

Ok, I guess I'm going to prove your point inversely here. I am not an artist. As a matter of fact, I'm an accountant, which some would say is the opposite of an artist. Anyway, I'm a creative person, I'm just not an artist by any conventional definition. I also don't care much at all for people's appearances. I mean, I certainly have a type, and I find plenty of people aesthetically pleasing, but it's not that frequent or something I care that much about. Maybe my one real exception is that I tend to find lesbian women pretty universally easy on the eyes, but who knows why that's the exception...?

[Celyn: The Lutening]

I definitely relate to the OP pretty strongly, I experience aesthetic attraction pretty often and strongly, but have no "type". I just like looking at pretty people (which is a fairly normal human trait though). But I do sometimes find myself filing mental snapshots of them in a "pretty people" folder (I have an idetic memory), and sometimes try drawing them (I'm just a baby artist though, don't ask for samples)

[Ivory__]

I experience this more often than not and it can make it hard to tell if I'm romantically attracted to someone. It can get frustrating but overall I like how I'm able to see the beauty in people and admire it for what it is. It doesn't always have to be what society deems attractive - I love seeing unique faces, body structures, styles and how people express themselves since that always stands out to me the most. When I feel aesthetic attraction it's more just me thinking 'I'd like to draw them or take a photo of them for reference' but I feel that would be weird for obvious reasons. It sounds normal to think that way to me and you may be right with aesthetic attraction being linked to artistic hobbies since people interested in art are usually trained to pick out details that stand out or interest them so they can later incorporate that into their art. 

 

If someone has a soft-looking face I'll think "aw" to myself and I'll have the feeling of wanting to give them a little hug as if they're a puppy. I don't mean to sound odd or detached if it comes off that way but it's like these people are artworks in themselves and I just like the prospect of looking at them. Obviously they are people too, but I think the difference between romantic and aesthetic attraction may be that aesthetic attraction is a lot more impersonal and with romantic you might want the attraction reciprocated and appreciate them on a deeper level, perhaps even disregarding any aesthetic attraction. I'm not too sure myself because I think I've only experienced romantic attraction once and even then I've been questioning if it was romantic since they reciprocated and I immediately began feeling uncomfortable.

[EngineeRaven]

Yes! I know the feeling. I just look at people, and damn, stop for a second, I wanna draw  that bone structure! However, it rarely if ever intersects with my romantic interests. So for me there is not much connection between the two, but it doesn't necessarily have to be the same for you.

[Yatagarasu]

Not an artist by definition, but I do draw every now and then. And my drawings often portrayed feminine men, who I find particularly pleasant in terms of aesthetics.

However, I'm not a very romantic person (leaning towards aromantic) and my partner being a feminine man is a sheer coincidence.

[Guest]

Though I consider myself a creative soul, I'm not sure I'd call myself an artist. With that said, I've experienced aesthetic attraction quite often. I guess I do have "type", aesthetically speaking, as there are certain things that always catch my eye sooner than others. Despite the lack of any sexual or romantic leanings, I can appreciate someones's physical appearance, and have found something attractive in those of all shapes and sizes and colors, despite what society may deem to be attractive. Though we may have our preferences, there isn't, nor should there be, a single standard definition of beauty.

[hayden01]

am really surprised! I would call myself an artist, am really good, but still am 18 so i guess I have a long way to go!

 

i can relate to most of you guys...but i never really thought that much about it, since I have always seen things this way, I do remember trying to tell if it's the same  is romantic attraction but i managed to quickly figure out that it's not...but anyway what i wanted to add is, besides people's faces and their clothes and expressions and bodys and poses...all of the good stuff...am also a landscape type of artists, i draw environments, objects, nature. so on and forth, so all of that is also very apparent on my radar since sadly I haven't been so successful in drawing faces...and also how light curves and behave fascinates me so much, the simplists scene  is an artwork to me

 

[kani]

When I used to draw (almost photo) realistic pictures of people, it helped me a lot that I found the person attractive, but I wouldn't say it was aesthetic attraction. Often times I'd draw a guy from a show or a movie that was a genuine and nice person and while finding them likable made me more attracted to them aesthetically, over aesthetic attraction what I felt was more platonic or sensual. Some exceptions exist though.

 

I have always liked to draw people but I'm rarely attracted to them. Even though the people are generally at least sort of attractive. I tend to think of a story around their character and what kind of a person they'd be. I guess I find it easier to create the characters and create the story in my head rather than writing or making a comic about it. There's something about other people that I find fascinating, I have hard time relating to them so I tend to observe the curious things they might do or find ordinary things interesting.

 

Nowadays I do a lot of abstract or seemingly abstract art that is simply a way for me to relax or have something for my hands to do while I listen to a podcast or something. But sometimes I try to paint what I'm feeling, like quite recently I had a strong sensual squish on a guy but knew that if he showed any actual interest in me the squish would vanish completely like it had never even existed. 

[gaogao]

I'm a hobby artist and I can relate ^^ there are some people who have really unique looks or features, and there are certain things (especially certain kinds of hair/hairstyles) I enjoy drawing more than others - and that can definitely have an impact on whether I find someone aesthetically attractive or not - but this has nothing to do with romantic leanings for me.

[CosmicTheAceOfSpace]

I'm currently studying Animation at University, so drawing is one of my specialties, and I know exactly what you mean!

 

A few years ago, before I started drawing from real life references, my characters were stuck with the dreaded 'same face syndrome', different characters with almost identical faces (no differentiation between them). Now that I actually take the time to stop, and take in the people around me, my drawings have seen significant improvements! I still can't draw a hand to save my life, but at least their faces look somewhat unique 

 

I like drawing things inspired by real life people, especially ones I find aesthetically pleasing, since there is so much variety that you can work with! 

    

[smittyw]

Wow!! I wasn't expecting so many comments, thank you all for replying! 

 

8 hours ago, Celyn said:

...I do sometimes find myself filing mental snapshots of them in a "pretty people" folder (I have an idetic memory), and sometimes try drawing them (I'm just a baby artist though, don't ask for samples)

That's so cool!! It must be very useful for saving mental reference pics, lol. And don't doubt yourself, all artists are baby artists and we're always learning how to improve. 

 

8 hours ago, _DEVIN_ said:

If someone has a soft-looking face I'll think "aw" to myself and I'll have the feeling of wanting to give them a little hug as if they're a puppy. I don't mean to sound odd or detached if it comes off that way but it's like these people are artworks in themselves and I just like the prospect of looking at them.

I think that a lot too. Some people just have a very soft and adorable appearance and I am always afraid I am staring at them too much, I swear I'm not trying to be creepy. 

 

6 hours ago, hayden01 said:

am really surprised! I would call myself an artist, am really good, but still am 18 so i guess I have a long way to go!

Me too! I wouldn't call myself really good but I'm getting there I suppose. But I call myself an artist anyway because I'm going to study art in college. :))

 

3 hours ago, arokani said:

Even though the people are generally at least sort of attractive. I tend to think of a story around their character and what kind of a person they'd be. I guess I find it easier to create the characters and create the story in my head rather than writing or making a comic about it.

Yes, same here. I am too lazy to write down story ideas, I just like to create characters in my mind and never develop them beyond the basics. It's just fun to make up characters from doodles in my notebook.  PS I also love listening to podcasts while I am painting, it's nice background noise and makes the process more fun!

 

41 minutes ago, CosmicTheAceOfSpace said:

I'm currently studying Animation at University, so drawing is one of my specialties, and I know exactly what you mean!

 

A few years ago, before I started drawing from real life references, my characters were stuck with the dreaded 'same face syndrome', different characters with almost identical faces (no differentiation between them). Now that I actually take the time to stop, and take in the people around me, my drawings have seen significant improvements! I still can't draw a hand to save my life, but at least their faces look somewhat unique 

 

I like drawing things inspired by real life people, especially ones I find aesthetically pleasing, since there is so much variety that you can work with! 

    

Omg I relate to all of this! I suffer from same face syndrome a lot especially when I don't think too much about the features I am drawing. Part of this is because I can only really draw women, so I give them similar features and tend to draw men as more feminine unless I have a reference to go off of. How is your university experience so far? I will be starting next year and I could use some advice. ^^ Animation is very interesting to me but i don't know if I have the patience for it, so for now my plan is to study Illustration.

 

 

My apologies for the long post, tl;dr is that I relate to all these experiences a lot. 

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

 I'm a traditional artist who experiences aesthetic attraction quite often (masculine / androgynous women or males (European or Asian)).

[CosmicTheAceOfSpace]

4 hours ago, smittyw said:

Omg I relate to all of this! I suffer from same face syndrome a lot especially when I don't think too much about the features I am drawing. Part of this is because I can only really draw women, so I give them similar features and tend to draw men as more feminine unless I have a reference to go off of. How is your university experience so far? I will be starting next year and I could use some advice. ^^ Animation is very interesting to me but i don't know if I have the patience for it, so for now my plan is to study Illustration.

I have to admit that I have a slight preference for drawing women too, mainly because I am one so anatomy referencing is much easier, but I've gotten a lot better when it comes to drawing men (at least that's what I keep telling myself! ).

 

So far my University experience has been a good one, only a few hiccups here and there but nothing TOO bad. I don't know how much my advice will help you, but I'll try! The most important one is during your first few weeks, you should try and make as many friends as possible (or at least be friendly with as many people as possible), especially if you are going to be moving away from home and living with new people (this one was hard for me seeing that I'm socially awkward, but it payed off and I've made some good friends!). The other important one is that you should register with a Doctor and Dentist as soon as you get there (if your University is far from home, though I'm not quite sure how that would work for places outside of the UK, I'm only really familiar with our medical practices), I was lucky that I did both fairly early on since that was around the time my wisdom teeth started to come in (NOT a pleasant experience), and there was also a Meningitis scare at our Uni which led to most people going for an immunization jab (that was a slightly more pleasant experience, but honestly not by much ). 

 

Sometimes I wonder how I have the patience for Animation, even art in general, it can be such a long and painstaking process. Illustration does sound interesting though! I think that might have been one of the other courses I was considering, alongside Video Game Design, I wish you Good Luck with that! hopefully you'll get accepted and have a brilliant Uni experience!  

[Galactic Turtle]

I'm not an artist in that I like... paint things or anything. But I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I can think someone looks good and not want anything from them. I mean, I have eyes. I can think a house looks good, a shirt, a cat, or a person. Doesn't mean I want a relationship with any of these things. I can even admire or appreciate someone's personality or attitude. Doesn't mean I want to be friends, it just means that they're a peer who doesn't get on my nerves and if they ask the room if anyone wants anything from the store I'll shout "Dr. Pepper!" 

 

I assume a lot of people are like this. If not, I apologize. That's just my aro side talking.  

[smittyw]

@CosmicTheAceOfSpace Thanks for the advice! Personally, the college I am going to is very close to my house so I don't have to live on campus, and I wouldn't have to find a new doctor or dentist. Getting your wisdom teeth out is THE WORST!! I had to do it a while back and the medication made me sick. I hope I don't have to have surgery again in the near future in case the same thing happens. x(

I definitely need to step up my friend game, I am also pretty socially awkward but I am trying to improve... I keep thinking that college will help me to find people I can relate to so it will be easier (maybe I can find other aces there?? I really hope so).

 

@Galactic Turtle Yeah I suspected it was pretty common for aro people to have identifiable aesthetic attractions, since they don't associate all types of attraction with potential partners. I wonder if the same goes for alloromantic and/or allosexual creative types as well? Or is it mostly an arospec thing? Idk. 

[Larkaloke]

I don't really get aesthetic attraction either, actually. Sometimes I'll notice an interesting feature somebody has, or try to file away how clothing actually drapes in a certain situation or such, but I can't recall a time I've noticed a person as being particularly good looking at all. I generally prefer to look at things that aren't people, even though I do mostly draw people (in retrospect, when I was younger, spending more time observing people would've been a good idea).

[Dark General]

I can relate to this. I'm an artist myself, so I've definitely experienced that feeling of wanting to draw someone who has features or an appearance that I find interesting or aesthetically pleasing. In general, I would say that whenever I see a person who I find aesthetically pleasing, I always want to draw them. The funny thing is that whenever I look at people, I really only look at their faces the majority of the time. In my mind, a person is aesthetically pleasing if they have a nice face. I don't really pay much attention to their bodies. I will say that I can appreciate the human figure, but I just don't obsess over it. My aesthetic attraction to people can also relate to how they dress. For instance, if someone is wearing something that I like or dressing in a style I like, I can find them aesthetically pleasing in that sense too. Nevertheless, even though I find people aesthetically pleasing sometimes, I never want to date them or have sex with them. My interest in them is like an interest I would have in a painting. They're nice to look at, but I don't want to touch them.

[arden_jay]

Hey, aesthetics are important after all.  I identify as greyromantic, but there's quite a few times I've looked at random people and thought "damn, if only I could draw a whole lot better so I could do you justice!" It's usually something in the face, though not always just the physical aspect, but also the spark in their eye or an adorable/dorky expression. I've found that a lot of the people I find aesthetically pleasing are not necessarily the "ideal" version of perfect, symmetrical beauty, but they often have an interesting quirk or personality that somehow makes them more attractive. I don't think that it's ever progressed to an actual crush, though. I'm pretty sure I would never get that just from a glance.

[AniGirl425]

OH.  MY.  GOD.  I didn't realise other people actually felt this way!  I mean, it makes sense, but I never really thought about how other artists/non-artistic people experienced the same thing I have.  I can see beauty and I often see someone—stranger on the street/around school or someone I'm familiar with—that makes me want to draw them or a specific feature, like hair or eyes.  One time one of my friends asked me what it's like to be ace/aro when I see an "attractive" person.  My answer was: "'Oh their eyes are a pretty colour, like the ocean in the Caribbean.  I wanna paint with that colour' *moves on*"

[smittyw]

3 hours ago, AniGirl425 said:

OH.  MY.  GOD.  I didn't realise other people actually felt this way!  I mean, it makes sense, but I never really thought about how other artists/non-artistic people experienced the same thing I have.

YES that is the reason why I am often so unsure of what kind of attraction I have felt before, because when I am honest with myself it's always either aesthetic or platonic –or both– but because everyone else ties this in with romantic and sexual attraction too, as if there is only one Attraction that people can feel, I get confused. It's so good to know that other ace and aro people feel this way too.

[Plectrophenax]

This is quite facinating.

 

I like drawing, though I was never one to use references or models (even though I enjoy drawing 'realistic' people, particularly faces). As a consequence, it was natural to me to 'like' people who share features that, while drawing, I find to be particularly expressive (like, for example, notably protruding ears or untypically shaped noses).

And I have never understood the idea of "attraction" in general in any other way than what you call "aesthetic attraction" - i.e. people who, for one reason or another, strike me as interesting, particularly as interesting relative to their features (making me inclined to want to 'capture' them in some way, be it via memorisation, photography or a drawing).

I have experienced this kind of "attraction" to people of any sex and any age (literally ranging from toddlers to people on their death beds), and it often doesn't occur when faced with people one might consider 'conventionally attractive'. I assume this might be because their features are, quite often, proportioned in such a way as to form a sort of 'default' from which the more interesting faces deviate.

In case it wasn't obvious, like @Dark General and @arden_jay, I too focus primarily on the face, be it its literal features or its overt or concealed expressions. Whenever I notice clothes or poses, it is a much more analytical sensation, i.e. one of explicitly detached interest (sort of a "huh, that's interesting" as opposed to a "whoah, that's interesting!", if you get what I mean). Bodies themseves don't show all that much variety when clothed (at least not to me). If everyone would walk around naked, though, there's a fair chance I would develop a sense for interesting body types, too.

 

However, I'm not sure I would consider this 'attraction' or 'appeal', at least not in the same sense the term seems to be generally used. It is completely non-sexual and non-sensual. And while certain cases do make me want to 'get to know' said people (in order to see more of them, as it were), it's not a romantic or relationship-inducing sense either. It's really just a sensation that allows me to 'categorise' people's appearances based on how much they interest me visually, much the same way that certain types of music evoke sensations that make me want to listen to them over others if I had the choice.

But ultimately, I'm well aware of how superficial this interest is. I am far more 'attracted' (though again in a non-sexual/non-sensual/non-romantic way) to people's actions and general displays of personality than I am their appearance, which is why it seems so oddly misplaced to use the word "aesthetic attraction".

 

I'd be curious to know if any of you can relate to what I've tried to express here.

[RavenclawLlama13]

I would not call myself an artist, but often I find myself looking at people (all genders) and appreciating their beauty. I feel no desire to touch them or anything like that (I'm aro/ace), I just look at them and think they are pretty the same way I might think a painting is pretty. To me, humans are beautiful in the same way things like landscapes and animals are. 

[Mae 🌼]

I wouldn't say I'm an 'artist' exactly but I'm very aesthetically attracted to people of all genders. I just like to appreciate beautiful people the same way I'd appreciate a beautiful sunset. There are times when I've looked at a beautiful person and thought they'd make a great piece of art!

[MagicalMafka]

Well... I start to cry when I see something that I like... and I'm actually not the crying type at all! If that is a pretty skirt, or a scenery, or anything. i literally started weeping over a very pretty wallpaper pattern last week And yes, I feel that my heart is getting filled with love when I see something that I really like. That can be a face, a nose, or any type of subject, a person, or a thing. This is not a sexual feeling at all... it is yes, I'm pretentious here too, a more divine feeling. Something like finding and connecting to a spark of creative energy.

[smittyw]

5 hours ago, MagicalMafka said:

Well... I start to cry when I see something that I like... and I'm actually not the crying type at all! If that is a pretty skirt, or a scenery, or anything. i literally started weeping over a very pretty wallpaper pattern last week And yes, I feel that my heart is getting filled with love when I see something that I really like. That can be a face, a nose, or any type of subject, a person, or a thing. This is not a sexual feeling at all... it is yes, I'm pretentious here too, a more divine feeling. Something like finding and connecting to a spark of creative energy.

Interesting! I like the way you put it. I feel this way sometimes about really nice scenery or music too, though not as often. I love when something is very suddenly inspiring.

[Plectrophenax]

Not to derail the thread (especially since I think it's a crucial part of the conversation), but to any of you who mentioned beauty or beautiful things (though perhaps it makes sense to limit it to people fro the sake of simplicity) - what does that entail? Is there any way for you to grasp it, or is it something fleeting, almost ethereal, something that you might suddenly see in places you would never or could never expect?

 

Basically, I'm curious whether what you mean by 'beauty' is a set of (physical) attributes, or whether it is something much much harder to conceptualise properly.

[smittyw]

On 6/17/2018 at 12:17 PM, Plectrophenax said:

Not to derail the thread (especially since I think it's a crucial part of the conversation), but to any of you who mentioned beauty or beautiful things (though perhaps it makes sense to limit it to people fro the sake of simplicity) - what does that entail? Is there any way for you to grasp it, or is it something fleeting, almost ethereal, something that you might suddenly see in places you would never or could never expect?

 

Basically, I'm curious whether what you mean by 'beauty' is a set of (physical) attributes, or whether it is something much much harder to conceptualise properly.

I would say it's a bit of both. I wish I were the type of person who only sees the "real" inner beauty in a person, but to be honest I often get distracted by physical or aesthetic attributes beforehand. Of course, sometimes there are those fleeting moments when I realize a good, honest, caring, etc. characteristic in a person has manifested itself through their actions, but to me that is more linked to personality than 'beauty'.

 

Although I think beauty takes many forms (and I don't think I could define beauty as a concept, hahah) what I meant in this thread was specifically the kind that has to do with aesthetics, whether they are the generally accepted conventional standards for beauty or something that you specifically find aesthetically pleasing. 

[Hayis4horses]

I draw, but I barely ever experience aesthetic atttraction.

 

However, my friend who is a very good artist, always thinks that a people are aesthetic pleasing. They always say that they want to draw people. Idk if this helps, but they identify as gay (says that they don't like labels), but sound they sound more like a demipanromantic or panromantic asexual (if it's more an ace thing?).

[Karoushi]

And a hobby artist that primarily draws people, I feel this. It took till year ago to realize it wasn't romantic attraction because I never wanted to approach them, just stare and draw them. Though, im pretty sure not all art people are like this because I have an art friend who happens to be ace as well and she doesn't experience it in a sense that she wants to draw them, but she does experience aesthetic attraction every now and then.