Questioning romantic orientation, crushes and squishes

[Infinite Bread]

So, I've been identifying as panromantic and asexual for about a year, but I'm starting to question things again. I like the ideas of hugging, cuddling, possibly kissing, and just being with certain people (more than most friends), but I don't know if it's romantic or platonic. For example, there's this guy I've known for about a year and a half and I love the idea of being with him, but I have no idea if it's a crush or a squish. Part of me thinks this is a crush because what I think about is generally seen as romantic, but I also think that maybe I also kinda see it like that because that's all I've ever really known. Another part of me thinks maybe it's a squish because I don't know if I want it to be seen as romantic, just that I want to be with him and have some kind of label for it (maybe being QPPs?).

 

Anyone have any ideas, advice, etc.?

[Celyn: The Lutening]

As a very romantic person, I don't fully understand the term "crush" when applied to real people. For me, it's a squish, or love - there is no in between. So yeah, if someone could help us out, that would be great.

[Salmiakki]

Well for me, I've had crushes since I was probably younger than 10. I actually get a little frustrated when having a crush is always linked to wanting to be romantically involved with that person. I've realized over the past few years that I have never, not even once wanted a relationship with my crush. So I have no interest to be with them but I know it's a crush because of all the "symptoms". 

I think I've had one squish in my life, the rest were crushes. 

[Galactic Turtle]

Do you feel any type of way about him dating someone who isn't you?

[Bloc]

5 hours ago, Infinite Bread said:

So, I've been identifying as panromantic and asexual for about a year, but I'm starting to question things again. I like the ideas of hugging, cuddling, possibly kissing, and just being with certain people (more than most friends), but I don't know if it's romantic or platonic. For example, there's this guy I've known for about a year and a half and I love the idea of being with him, but I have no idea if it's a crush or a squish. Part of me thinks this is a crush because what I think about is generally seen as romantic, but I also think that maybe I also kinda see it like that because that's all I've ever really known. Another part of me thinks maybe it's a squish because I don't know if I want it to be seen as romantic, just that I want to be with him and have some kind of label for it (maybe being QPPs?).

 

Anyone have any ideas, advice, etc.?

Sorry, that I can not give you some advice. I just want say that I can totally relate to your feelings. I cannot really tell if I am loving someone romantically or platonic and don't find this important. What I can say is that I don't mind if they are dating other people as long i have a secure place in their life. I think it is more important to show how you care for someone and to show in public that you belong to each other than to put a label like romantic, platonic, lover or best friend on the relationship. Somehow I like the ambiguity the word "Freund/Freundin" has in German. It can be both a platonic friend or a romantic partner.

[Infinite Bread]

Well, he's currently dating a guy I personally don't like (obnoxious gamer, "You like [insert whatever game here]? How? It's absolute trash." Not to me but to another friend when he mentions just about any game). I'm not really sure how I'd feel about him dating someone else though. Like, I wouldn't want this other person to be toxic or anything. Not really sure how I'd feel beyond that.

 

Let's say he was happy dating someone else who I knew to be a good person. I figure I'd feel happy for him, but I can't say for sure.

 

Ghhhhhhhh I wish I could be more clear about all this but I honestly don't know.