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rainbowteacake

To a small extent, is there a chance that boys/men are being made to feel guilty for being heterosexual?

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rainbowteacake

As in being made to feel guilty at all for having feelings sexual or romantic for women as a male.

 

disclaimer: I’m an asexual female but I just thought is what I’m asking a thing?

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Princess Merida

I don’t know about men feeling guilty about being heterosexual but men are becoming increasingly uneasy around women and frightened that they’ll be accused of sexual harassment for chatting up a woman or even just accidentally brushing against a woman. Men have been painted as dangerous around children and now the same thing is happening in regards to women. So, if a man is afraid to show any interest in women, chat them up etc. I’m really not surprised.

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Amber79

The problem is that the internet iis full of mysogynistic images, language and the porn is increasingly violent, add that to some horrfic high profile rape cases and it leads to the impression that all men are violent and only see women as objects to be used, abused and thrown away. it's not true of course, I've known plenty lovely hetero men in my time, caring, genuine and nothing like the neaderthall, unfortunatley there is a certain cultutre which perpetuates the opposite and that tends to be very vocal and has a way of making itself seen and heard more than the guys who aren't like it. A minority making it hard for the majority. Plus if you've ever been trolled online it tends to be with the type of threats only a sexist bloke could come up with, although that doesn't mean it's actually a bloke, or an even adult doing it of course.

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daveb
9 hours ago, rainbowteacake said:

As in being made to feel guilty at all for having feelings sexual or romantic for women as a male.

 

disclaimer: I’m an asexual female but I just thought is what I’m asking a thing?

I never have (heteromantic ace here).

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ben8884

I am moving this to the Philosophy,Politics and Science and board 

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Woodworker1968

I think it has more to do with the mainstream's expectation that sexually active hetero males should feel helpless to control their sexual urges. It would be difficult for the average hetero male to come out and say that he can keep his sexual urges in check, so it's probably easier to go along and be one of the herd.

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Perspektiv
On 4/15/2018 at 5:50 AM, rainbowteacake said:

As in being made to feel guilty at all for having feelings sexual or romantic for women as a male.

I think the veneer on the macho male is being chiseled away.

 

However, the unintended consequences, is it also is making regular men question themselves.

 

A lot of men in power positions will question themselves.

 

The latter is good,  but it's at the expense of masculinity or it's image as we all know it.

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RoseGoesToYale

There are social systems in place that confer guilt on both males and females for experiencing/acting on sexual attraction. For females, this could take the form of slut shaming or policing clothing. For males, it could take the form of "monsterization", or making all males out to be sexually predatory. Any of these scenarios could lead to dangerous self-fulfilling prophecies in which women could come to believe they really are dirty for having sexual feelings, and men could come to see themselves as monsters. I don't think there's a single sexual orientation or gender identity that hasn't, at some point in modern western history, been subjected to structures designed to make those identifying feel guilty for having an orientation.

 

Michel Foucault wrote about our western "confession" society, where members are expected to conceal sexual acts and reveal them later as an act of purging oneself or admitting guilt, as opposed to the "ars erotica" in a society that sees sex and sexuality as an art form, something to be explored and that "just happens to be". I think it's that confession mentality that contributes to sex and it's guilt being conflated into this massive big deal. (think politicians and affair scandals... everyone in the media wants it to be "true")

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uhtred

I think that there is some amount of applying collective guilt to heterosexual males. I've never thought collective guilt was a good idea - people should be responsible for their own actions, not held responsible for what other similar-looking people have done. 

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AshenPhoenix

I'm going to go ahead and say likely not. For multiple reason, the first and foremost obviously having to do with how much worse homosexual men are treated than their heterosexual counterparts, globally and locally. But, that's not really your question, your question has to do with if men are, on some level, made to feel ashamed of their heterosexuality as well. I wouldn't really say such either. Anything that may relate to shame and heterosexuality (I.E. the idea that once a man enters a relationship with a woman, he might be neutered masculinity wise [in some circles[) aren't really broad reaching consequences to do with all heterosexuality, but more to do with other misogynistic, overly-sexual, and toxic masculine parts of societies. Really, the main point of evidence I would bring up against it is that, try and go a few days just listening to general conversations, over the course of a few days if you're in crowded areas partial amounts of the time. Chances are you'll hear "gay" referring to something being stupid, lesser, or degrading. I don't really think in a society where some heterosexual men themselves clearly have a lesser to compare themselves to, that those men are also being made to feel ashamed of their own sexuality.

 

'Course, this is not to say it never happens. Everything happens. But, in general, heterosexuality is the norm, and I don't think men are made to feel lesser if they are.

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Jade Cross

In society (in a very general sense) males are still expected to show interests althoigh I agree that it has changed over the years. Guilt for sexual desires has tended to be more of a religious based issue.

 

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