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Cis and binding/top surgery?


TKD4

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Maybe some of y'all can help me. So I identify as cis (I think? maybe female-ish is better?). I've never been really feminine; I wear clothes from the men's section more often than the women's section, don't wear make-up, recently cut my hair really short (not inherently masculine I know, but to me it helps me not feel so feminine). I also don't really like the things that come along with being female (breasts, periods, etc). But I don't necessarily feel like a guy either. I don't mind being called 'she' or 'her' or 'ma'am'.

 

I've never really liked having breasts but more and more recently my they've been causing me a lot of distress, and I just wish they were gone. And of course I got lucky and I don't exactly have a small chest either. I absolutely hate wearing regular bras and always stick to wearing sports bras. And while a sports bra does make them look smaller than a regular bra, I've always wished they were smaller or just not there at all. Well after a lot of research and soul searching I finally decided to order a binder to try out just to see if I liked it. Got it in the mail today and tried it on and I nearly cried tears of happiness at what it made me look like. I'm going to start wearing it for short periods over the next few days to see how it makes me feel and see if I continue to like the illusion of having a flat chest. During my research, I looked into top surgery A LOT and I really think it's something I'd like to have some time in the future. 

 

I guess my question is, is this normal? I don't identify as trans or non-binary but I really think binding/top surgery would be a good thing for me to deal with these feelings about my chest. But I've never really heard of other cis people feeling like this? Also, I was told by someone online recently that if I'm cis, I can't call it 'top surgery' because that is a term only trans/non-binary people can use and it would be offensive for me to use it. They said I needed to use the term 'double mastectomy' instead. Would it really be offensive if I called it 'top surgery'? The goal of top surgery is to get a more masculine looking chest, which is what I'd want, where as a double mastectomy is used to get rid of all the breast tissue without regard for how it will look afterwards. 

 

Thanks for reading and any help/tips are welcome!

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You do not have to ID as particular thing, it's not required. If you want to bind just do it safely and if you want to pursue top surgery go for it! As a transmale myself that's not at all offensive, top surgery is what it's called.

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Hey, it's not weird at all to want a small or flat chest! Nothing bad about that. I know lots of cis women who hate big boobs and want them smaller.

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Guest -NULL-

Hello @TKD4 ,

 

I am elated to have stumbled across your post. I can relate to everything that you mentioned, but I personally don't care about my gender. I am fine if people use she/her pronouns to address me, but I don't particularly identify with the female label. I just identify with myself; I don't use a label for my gender. 

 

Regarding your desire for potential "top surgery" in the future, I think that you should reflect on the decision and confirm that it is a well-informed choice. I think that top surgery is a wonderful thing, and if that is the option that you choose to pursue, then POWER TO YA! :D

 

I want to bind my chest, but I climb a considerable amount; I don't want to damage my spinal cord or rib cage by using a binder. I might invest in a binder in the future, but for now I will just continue to do my thing. (Hit me up with some binder brand recommendations, if you have any!) :)

 

I also despise my chest and wish that I did not have any protrusion in that region. Unfortunately, I was born with the feminine physique...

 

(I think that it is fine to use the term "top surgery". It is all-encompassing and much easier to describe than "double mastectomy".)

 

Best wishes,

Ace Ninja :cake:

b924b63dc117c4aff3e5cb060b4cc8c92a8ce2f0_hq.gif

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23 minutes ago, Ace Ninja said:

(Hit me up with some binder brand recommendations, if you have any!) :)

GC2B is the best of the best!

Also check out Transtape, a great alternative to binders.

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43 minutes ago, Flower Boy said:

GC2B is the best of the best!

Also check out Transtape, a great alternative to binders.

Hello @Flower Boy ,

 

Thanks for the recommendations! I will check those out!

 

Keep acing it,

Ace Ninja :cake:

b924b63dc117c4aff3e5cb060b4cc8c92a8ce2f0_hq.gif

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On 4/13/2018 at 9:29 PM, Ace Ninja said:

(Hit me up with some binder brand recommendations, if you have any!) :)

GC2B is the binder I purchased! I've worn it a little the past few days and I think I'm going to like it. Its really comfortable and fairly easy to get on 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 months later...

I was just surfing the site and came upon this topic, which I consider interesting, personally i feel everyone should be allowed and feel comfortable going topless or present as they feel, but society is at odds with that sort of thinking. I have my own unique experience on the subject, almost 18 mos ago i had male breast enlargement, ended up going larger than I had planned thanks to my surgeon anyway I now have very noticeable breasts, On one hand I am pleased with the results and all the other side it was and can be difficult at time physically and socially in certain situations and putting my head around certain issues like going to a pool or outside in hot weather, i miss the option of being able to go shirtless at times, i guess technically could but I would feel very uncomfortable doing so, yet I feel uncomfortable wearing a swimtop or cover up to a pool as well. Wearing a bra  I am ok with since my surgery, I know a lot of women say they are a pain to wear however I feel less comfy not wearing one  

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Some cis women get surgery to reduce their breast size. It's more common than most people think. And some butches bind their chests. It doesn't negate their identity as women.

Your body is yours alone, and you get to decide what you want to do with it.

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All the little Lights

I don't think it's offensive to call it top surgery, that's only the term for the surgery, and doesn't imply any specific gender with it. "Double mastectomy" sounds so medical, I understand if most people rather use top surgery.

 

Also, I don't think anyone else should tell you what to call yourself. As long as you don't speak over trans people while identifying as cis, it should be ok.

And it seems to me that you are considering these voices, since you are politely asking in here.

 

I think having dysphoria doesn't necessarily have to be linked with gender identity (e.g. teenagers who have lots of acne and therefore feel it). But I'm not a medical professional or anything, idk if it's true! (Also I don't know if you would call your experience with your body dysphoria, that's up to you again)

 

If you want top surgery, go for it!

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  • 4 months later...
NeversideFaerie

I have dysphoria for my chest as well and I do not feel male in the slightest. People have envied my bust since I was about twelve and it has hurt my feelings terribly, because I desperately want it smaller. I have considered getting surgery, but it's expensive, intrusive and could stop me from breast feeding one day. I've considered purchasing a binder but in the meantime I just wear loose-fitting clothes. 

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On 12/12/2018 at 12:55 PM, NeversideFaerie said:

I have dysphoria for my chest as well and I do not feel male in the slightest. People have envied my bust since I was about twelve and it has hurt my feelings terribly, because I desperately want it smaller. I have considered getting surgery, but it's expensive, intrusive and could stop me from breast feeding one day. I've considered purchasing a binder but in the meantime I just wear loose-fitting clothes. 

you may want to wait till you have children if that is something you want to do (breastfeed) also might be a great time to have them reduced.  I now wear loose fitting clothes now, it can be a pain I know  

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NeversideFaerie
18 hours ago, Albine said:

you may want to wait till you have children if that is something you want to do (breastfeed) also might be a great time to have them reduced.  I now wear loose fitting clothes now, it can be a pain I know  

That's exactly what I'm thinking. If I've had three kids and my bust hasn't shrunk, then I will consider surgery.

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1 hour ago, NeversideFaerie said:

That's exactly what I'm thinking. If I've had three kids and my bust hasn't shrunk, then I will consider surgery.

What size would you comfortably want to be?

 

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  • 1 year later...

I feel the exact same honestly! I didn’t know others felt like this. I used to get really anxiety attacks every time I had to go to “fancy events” and wear feminine clothing or put makeup on. I still do get really all up in my head and anxious every time I wear dresses or particularly feminine clothing.

 

Could that be gender dysphoria?

 

and just another question can you have gender dysphoria without being trans? 

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This thread has not been active for a long time and is now being locked. If anyone would like to discuss this topic further, feel free to start a new thread about it.

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