Theory of not labeling your sexuality

[galarist]

Hi all, 

I am 22 years old and I still struggling to figure out my feelings, sexuality and attractiveness towards to a gender. I also thinking that I just can't accept my sexuality which I assume that is Asexual and who I am, but I am also curious and open for sex.

 

So, I am thinking to not labeling myself and go with non-sexuality label, which means no need to label myself, like non-binary (not the questioning label), to avoid any confusion and create any issues in my family life or around myself in the world. I know the label word is still there.

 

The theory is, if you don't care about your sexuality label then you will not or have less problems in the world and in your life, because of the society. Your prarents will think that you are still straight or whatever and your friends also, but you still know what do you like and what are you enjoy in.

 

P.S.: sorry if I have any mistakes in my senteces. 

[Claire1983]

I think it comes down to what your goals are.  In your case it seems to make sense.  For me I really like the idea of having and using a specific label because it would be the easiest way to clear up confusion and answer related questions without having to jump into a detail explanation every time.  I also don't deal well with ambiguity and uncertainty, so having a defined label is comforting.  So I guess just use what works best in your circumstances.

[Masterman]

What Claire said. The "label", as you call it, can be very useful for some of us. For those who are still confused, I understand it might be difficult.

[uhtred]

I think labels only make sense if there is an existing well understood label that is a good match.  So, if you are a man who enjoys sex with other men, labeling yourself as "gay" is a nice shorthand. 

 

If you are a woman who is romantically and sexually attracted to men, but sexually attracted to women for BDSM only, but who's overall libido is low except for bursts of high libido - then there is probably no particular label that describes you. 

[Guest]

I agree with @uhtred, if you're very, very clear about your sexuality and have a label that fits you 100% (or at least comes close enough!) then great! but if your sexual identity is so complicated or random that no label really fits it, you eventually give up looking and just stop caring (that's what happened for me anyway, haha). I don't ID as asexual anymore, but there's no way to really define my sexuality. That's why I just say I'm happily celibate (which covers things perfectly for now ) and if someone asked 'but what's your sexual orientation?' I'd say ''it's not really important enough to me to have a label for it. If I'm in love with someone, I sometimes desire some forms of sexual intimacy with them but sex isn't important to me at all'' ..I don't have a label to sum that up and meh, even if it had a label, I'd still have to explain it anyway once I've told the person the label, lol.

 

The label pomosexual technically is meant to describe someone who doesn't fit any sexual orientation label, here's a write up from wikitionary 

Adjective[edit]

pomosexual (comparative more pomosexual, superlative most pomosexual)

1. (of a person) Rejecting, avoiding or not fitting in any sexual orientation label, such as heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, pansexual or bisexual.

 

But at the same time I've seen people using it because they reject labels, and that definition itself even mentions that. Rejecting labels is 1) very different from not really fitting into labels, and 2) if you reject labels, why the f*ck are you using a random obscure a label like pomosexual, haha. I certainly wouldn't use it because I'm sure people would think I'm just trying to be a badass* label rebel  lol!

 

Anyway, it's 4am .. I think I might sleep now

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

[Penny Dreadful]

This sounds interesting!

[ReyGraves]

I think Bredon Urie thinks this way too.

 

I think he said once “Why does it matter?”

[Salmiakki]

I feel like at the same time I want to find a clear label to describe my sexuality but also I would just like to go "fuck it" and not care or think about it at all. Like I know for some people it is really important to know what you are and for some it doesn't matter, and somehow I'm both. I used to be really obsessed with labels when I was around 14-16 and found myself a label to identify as, but later I realized how much sexuality varies and that I might have been too quick to label my sexuality. I'm not really that much older now. I'll turn 18 this summer but I feel and think differently about many things now. I used to describe my sexuality with the term heteroromantic homosexual and since then found many new terms that could describe my romantic and sexual orientations until I just became really confused. All I know for sure is that I am attracted to males and females but no matter what romantic/sexual/whatever attraction I might feel towards someone I don't necessarily have the tiniest bit of interest in acting on them. 

[Telperion]

My Aunt and her friend both think this way. They don't label themselves and don't see why people want to label themselves since people should just be who they are. *shrugs* I, personally, like to have a label because it feels like I'm more complete or more self-aware of myself if I have words to describe what I feel (or don't as the case may be). 

[Randomchaos]

If I put a label on I would be labeled asexual, but at the same time since it isn't all encompassing I just decide to say "fun-loving" or random crap like that since I don't technically experience sexual attraction but I'm pretty much up for trying  anything once. 

 

Plus I'm more of the thought that sexuality is fluid. So... Yeah I sometimes think labels are overrated/not useful in the long run  

[Ms. Carolynne]

I can understand the sentiment behind not using labels, but then again, if the shoe fits I'll wear it.

 

Labels don't define either way.  They're just an abstract descriptor. They consolidate a group of related aspects of one's life into one generalized concept.

 

It can oversimplify things, but then again, I don't often need to go into great detail about my asexuality.

 

For example, someone says they are gay, you get the general idea. It doesn't encompass everything, and there can be a lot of variance, but such information is unlikely to be pertinent anyway. If it is it will be mentioned.

 

Likewise we don't need labels for every idiosyncracy, which I've seen happen in gender discussion a fair bit. There comes a point where a label is pedantic enough you have to explain in detail anyway, and thus it is useless.