4328 Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 Well I'm 14 and I'm a lesbian but I'm not romantically attracted to girls and last year I came out to be a lesbian in July and it changed in February. Here is the thing, ever since this feeling came I feel very uncomfortable with this feeling because I just don't seem to have the same connection like when I came out to be gay. I mean being a lesbian feels so good and I just have this strong and special connection to it like it feels like it's who I am and a part of me. Anyways, I still fantasize about kissing girls and look at them. I just don't think being aromantic suits me because I feel comfortable being a lesbian and I see myself married to a woman. I just wanna be happy and comfortable with my sexuality again as in I just want it to change back. Thanks for listening Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzipueo Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 You feel drawn to women still, but not interested in doing more than kissing, cuddling, etc.? It sounds to me like you might be asexual but homoromantic - not aromantic. If you were aromantic, romance would take a backseat to being friends with others and not being interested in getting more involved with other than friendship. Everyone's different, of course, and there are aros who enjoy cuddling, etc. (I don't, personally). I'd say give yourself some time. You may just need to take another year or so to settle into your new feelings, or they'll shift again and there's nothing wrong about that. Your teen years are full of changes and exploration of what it means to be you, so take your time and let things happen as they happen. Link to post Share on other sites
4328 Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 9 minutes ago, fuzzipueo said: You feel drawn to women still, but not interested in doing more than kissing, cuddling, etc.? It sounds to me like you might be asexual but homoromantic - not aromantic. If you were aromantic, romance would take a backseat to being friends with others and not being interested in getting more involved with other than friendship. Everyone's different, of course, and there are aros who enjoy cuddling, etc. (I don't, personally). I'd say give yourself some time. You may just need to take another year or so to settle into your new feelings, or they'll shift again and there's nothing wrong about that. Your teen years are full of changes and exploration of what it means to be you, so take your time and let things happen as they happen. I'm interested in kissing and cuddling. Link to post Share on other sites
ace-ing on the cake Posted April 15, 2018 Share Posted April 15, 2018 I agree that you may be asexual. And don't worry about "changing back" in any way, because being asexual doesn't mean you don't like kissing or cuddling or aren't thinking of doing the two. If anything you'll probably feel more yourself than before if you find a label you think suits you, even if it isn't the one you identified with before. I feel the same way, and also want to get married someday, it's just that I don't feel sexual attraction or have any desire for sex. You may agree fully or only to a certain extent, but that doesn't mean you're not asexual, there's a whole spectrum! I hope I helped, I'm new to this and don't know too much about relationships, but if you have any questions with how I figured out I was ace I'm more than happy to help! Link to post Share on other sites
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