Shadowmoon Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Hello I came across this site today in hopes of meeting ppl in a similar situation as me. I'm a 24 y/o guy and I have sex a lot but there is ABSOLUTELY no feelings involved I'm just empty inside and I leave. Also I'm only sexually attracted to people I don't know and it's strange. If I become friends with someone I was initially attracted to all attraction leaves and I no longer want to have sex with them. I've never been in a relationship or had an emotional connection with a sexual partner in my life. I came across the term demisexual today and it sounds like I'm the opposite. The closer I get to someone the less attracted I am to them. Is there a term for this? Will I only be able to have empty sex with strangers for the rest of my life? Is anyone else in the same boat? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 While I dislike the microterms, the term for this is 'freysexual' and it's the opposite of demisexual. It's still a type of sexuality as you still want sex with people, you just don't want it anymore once you have a connection to them. It's more a sexual preference/behavior than an orientation (orientation is which gender you desire sex with, and everything else like needing an emotional connection or not, or the types of sex you desire etc, that's all variable). Some people do for whatever just have a preference for sex with people they don't know, and any kind of connection turns them off. I'm not 'demisexual' but I'm the opposite of freysexual in that I am turned off by the mere idea of having sex with someone I don't know D: I have an actual physical reaction to the idea in my guts like thinking about falling off the edge of a boat or something lol - I HAVE to have a connection with the person to even be able to consider having sex with them! Takes all sorts to make a world Link to post Share on other sites
Shadowmoon Posted April 12, 2018 Author Share Posted April 12, 2018 That's crazy I'm the same way because I have a physical reaction right after sex. I have this look of disgust on my face and I have to hide my facial Expressions and leave right away trying not to be rude. Link to post Share on other sites
fiѕh Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 I used to be similar and it changed a lot. so no, I don't think you HAVE to have empty sex with strangers for the rest of your life. ficto is right though, takes all sorts, so I'ma still say what I always say to this kind of thing... it's not wrong. just gotta decide for yourself if accepting it or doing something about it is the right way. Link to post Share on other sites
alligator Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 gosh, i wish i could help you, but this is the first time i've even heard of anything like it. do you still crave a romantic relationship with someone? Link to post Share on other sites
Shadowmoon Posted April 12, 2018 Author Share Posted April 12, 2018 2 hours ago, alligator said: gosh, i wish i could help you, but this is the first time i've even heard of anything like it. do you still crave a romantic relationship with someone? That's why I posted here because I was ok with the way I was living for a long time until recently. All of a sudden I have this urge to be in a relationship but when I try to talk to people and actually get to know them attraction fades. Link to post Share on other sites
Shadowmoon Posted April 12, 2018 Author Share Posted April 12, 2018 4 hours ago, fiѕh said: I used to be similar and it changed a lot. so no, I don't think you HAVE to have empty sex with strangers for the rest of your life. ficto is right though, takes all sorts, so I'ma still say what I always say to this kind of thing... it's not wrong. just gotta decide for yourself if accepting it or doing something about it is the right way. How did you change? Was it a sudden change? Did you meet someone you liked even after you had sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 2 hours ago, alligator said: gosh, i wish i could help you, but this is the first time i've even heard of anything like it. You obviously haven't been on AVEN very long You'll hear about freysexuality a lot more if you spend time around here over the next months.. years.. decades... (we literally have members here who have been active for over a decade haha!) Cake for @alligator and @Shadowmoon, I hope you enjoy your time here on AVEN Link to post Share on other sites
Shadowmoon Posted April 12, 2018 Author Share Posted April 12, 2018 Thanks for the cake OK I want to go a little more in depth with the situation I'm in. My sexual partners are all guys so for the longest time I thought I was gay because I only had gay sex and it was easy to say that but I could never get past sex with dudes. It was all physical attraction nothing behind it, until I met this one girl. The initial sexual attraction wasn't there even though she is very attractive woman, but we were pretty close and pretty intimate with each other we never had sex though because I still didn't feel that sexual attraction but I did feel something that I never felt with any of the guys I had sex with I wanted her to be around and I wanted to be with her. Then she left to go back to her country and that feeling got like 2x stronger and now I'm flying to a different country this fall to be with her sooooo that's what brought me to the term demisexual and freysexual but then again this was only one small instance in my life idk how it could be this impactful. IM SOOO CONFUSED lol it's like I know what I like, but I don't know what I want, but I kinda know what I want. Lol that last part is confusing I know Link to post Share on other sites
fiѕh Posted April 14, 2018 Share Posted April 14, 2018 On 4/12/2018 at 5:43 PM, Shadowmoon said: How did you change? Was it a sudden change? Did you meet someone you liked even after you had sex? since your situation will be totally different anyway, I doubt it's gonna help you much if I go into all the personal details... so I'll spare myself that. but no, it wasn't sudden. it was a lot of working on all sorts of issues that contributed to it. which is where I hope we're different, because I don't think it has to be "issues" that "cause" this. so that's one half of it, the other half is that I just changed over time, and this changed a bit too. I did meet someone I kind of wanted to want a relationship with, but that was nothing like what you're describing with that girl and ended in a mess. Link to post Share on other sites
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