What did you call yourself before discovering Asexuality?

[nolanpaints]

I called myself a "late bloomer" oof 

[Strange But Not a Stranger]

Straight, but not that bothered to act on it. I just thought I was heterosexual but not so sexual.

[here_on_the_morrow]

Never thought to come up with a word for what i am until i found this website. As a teen i identified as straight or bi, it fluctuated. Then at 23 i realized i didn't have to have sex with men and i identified as a lesbian right up until i discovered that i don't have to have sex with anyone last year, at 34. Now that sex is out if the picture i realize that i am romantically attracted to everyone, so i'm panromantic asexual. I finally feel like i know myself, and i love it. 

[Kitteη χ]

I assumed that I was straight, both because it's sort of the "default" and because I sometimes experience aesthetic attraction (I think, I'm not really sure how to describe it). I knew well before I discovered my asexuality, however, that I had no interest in sex or romance, and that I would probably never be in that sort of relationship and was fully content with that. It was just difficult to connect that to a lack of attraction since I had no idea what attraction actually was.

[Clem]

I assumed I was straight, only because I never really thought about it. When I heard people at school making sexual comments I always assumed they were joking and just thought everyone felt the same way I did. I only started questioning my sexuality when someone asked me out and I accepted only because I thought I was supposed to and saw everyone around me doing so. 

 

I tried to force myself to like him and thought something was wrong with me when I couldn't, I avoided relationships after that and just thought I was probably a late bloomer. 

[will123]

Welcome to AVEN Clem 

[AtlanteanStar]

I called my self celibate

[Chocolatastic AroAce]

Nothing I avoided conversations like this as much as possible. I would just say things like "i'm not ready yet." or " I'd rather focus on school."  I was probably labeled a lesbian or a prude by peers though(still am).

[Haywire]

I called myself straight. Internally I always assumed I was broken or some kind of freak. At some point I resigned myself to my fate of there being something wrong with me. Funnily enough it wasn't the lack of sexual attractions that bothered me as much as it was the thought of having something wrong with me. 

[hey_it's_me]

Well I would just say I am not sure

[will123]

On 5/18/2018 at 3:27 AM, Haywire said:

I called myself straight. Internally I always assumed I was broken or some kind of freak. At some point I resigned myself to my fate of there being something wrong with me. Funnily enough it wasn't the lack of sexual attractions that bothered me as much as it was the thought of having something wrong with me. 

I thought I was straight, but resigned to myself to a fate that I'd never have sex. One part of me wanted to have sex with a female, but I never followed thru.

[Karoushi]

I didn't have any label prior. I never assumed myself to be straight because I never showed much interest in guys. But I guess for a while I thought myself to be a very late bloomer when it came to my sexuality because i just felt lost and confused for the longest time. 

[ryn2]

I considered myself straight.  I grew up a long time ago in a fairly conservative community and didn’t even know homosexuality existed until I was in middle school.  The first time I met a self-described gay person my own age I was in my mid-20’s.

 

I had no idea there were other options.  When sex turned out to be worse than plain old masturbating, I just figured either my partners or I weren’t very good at it.

[AbyssGaze]

I thought myself straight if a bit biromantic, but mostly I believed I was some kind of loner.

[the_rebecca]

My journey:

 

Why do girls and and boys care about each other so much? 

 

Is there such a thing as a non-religious nun? I’ll be that.

 

I am a straight, emotionally unavailable robot.

 

Maybe I’m a late bloomer. 

 

”it’s just not a priority in my life.”

 

Maybe I have to meet the right person.

 

Maybe I’m incapable of love.

 

Do I like girls? Not really. Do I like boys? I feel like I’m supposed to say yes, but no.

 

Am I supposed to crave sex? That sounds dumb and unproductive.

 

Am I supposed to feel upset after a breakup? *shrug*

 

Single and not searching.

 

Broken and damaged. Maybe I should go to therapy.

 

Oh. My. Expletives. Asexuality is a thing and I am it.

 

[will123]

9 hours ago, ryn2 said:

I considered myself straight.  I grew up a long time ago in a fairly conservative community and didn’t even know homosexuality existed until I was in middle school.  The first time I met a self-described gay person my own age I was in my mid-20’s.

 

I had no idea there were other options.  When sex turned out to be worse than plain old masturbating, I just figured either my partners or I weren’t very good at it.

Looking back at the time I was asked about sex by a female friend (could I see the two of us having sex) I think sub-consciously fearing screwing up the act since I had ABSOLUTELY no experience at age 38, is one of the reasons I flat out said no.

[littlebilby]

I was out at a club and a girl asked me if I was gay or straight. I said ‘I’m sexually inactive!’  This was before I even knew what asexuality was. 

[MightBeLonely]

Wow, some of these are just so me. My typical response is that I'm just not that interested, coupled with a casual, if slightly annoyed, shrug. This is usually met confusion, shock or something in between. But I grew up loving the idea of love, but am finding a disconnect when offered it, so I must be some sort of asexual romantic robot. Lol

[Amelys]

This is going to sound really weird but I called myself asexual before I even know the world actually existed (I just went by the latin roots). It was used more like a joke between me and my friends; a way for me to disguise that I didn't understand why I just wasn't interested in relationships like other people my age and that this confusion was stressful/painful for me. 

So it went a bit like:

Friend A: "Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?"

Friend B: "Or a girlfriend?" "You know we'd be fine with either."

Me: "Oh, you haven't heard i'm asexual! I'm not interested in anyone *insert fake laugh*"

 

2-3 years later I found out the word actually exists and it felt like such a relief that I finally had some answers.

[TheCatBehind]

“I know I’m not straight, or gay, or bi, or pan...”

 

I knew I wasn’t exactly any of the big four sexualities and accepted it. I didn’t put a name to it though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not even queer or questioning 

[notfeelingit98]

Honestly? I just called myself "weird". I thought I was a very weird heterosexual girl that was somehow underdeveloped or childish and thus didn't understand sex yet.

And also when I learned the word "frigid", I started calling myself that immediately. My mother then informed me I shouldn't say that about myself because, well, it's a bad thing, apparently.

[Sweet Potato]

straight

broken

sexually dysfunctional female.

 

Yeah, Asexual is a much better label

[ExquisiteMystery]

On 5/23/2018 at 7:54 PM, the_rebecca said:

 

Is there such a thing as a non-religious nun? I’ll be that.

Yes! I remember saying this more than once.

I went from "shy" to "bisexual" to "depressed" to "Not interested in other people". 

I am a little proud of myself for not assuming I was a problem. I assumed my local choices sucked.

I have much more hope now. And loneliness seems less of a certainty.

[Lancer]

First I was “just really picky.”  Then came the “broken” phase when I discovered that attraction was actually supposed to be more than hero worship / +10friendship.  Then the internal moping got annoying and I decided that I was, in fact, the only human that remained uninfected by whatever virus it was that made people into brainwashed sex zombies.

 

I also used to joke that I was actually an alien and that I was waiting for my people to come back and retrieve me. I even made it into the yearbook as “most likely to make first contact with aliens.”

[will123]

5 hours ago, Lancer said:

First I was “just really picky.” 

A co-worker once said that (in a friendly way) when I was going on one day about never having a girlfriend. It didnt bother me and in some ways was true.

[Aroace_bookworm]

Seeing as I'm still in junior high school, i hadn't really labelled myself, no one really had until 2-3 years ago, when people started coming out as lesbian, bi, pan, (none of the boys have come out as anything but cishet yet), and then I started questioning. I guess nobody really asked.

[UnluckStuck]

I thought I was just too mature for myself, I would say straight out of fear though but I thought I might of been gay. - People have always told me I have a ‘gay vibe’ to the point someone’s parent assumed I was a lesbian upon first meeting🤦🏽‍♀️. I still don’t understand how you get those vibes... Anyways I’d say I was straight out of fear and unknowning.

[UnluckStuck]

On 5/24/2018 at 12:54 AM, the_rebecca said:

My journey:

 

Why do girls and and boys care about each other so much? 

 

Is there such a thing as a non-religious nun? I’ll be that.

 

I am a straight, emotionally unavailable robot.

 

Maybe I’m a late bloomer. 

 

”it’s just not a priority in my life.”

 

Maybe I have to meet the right person.

 

Maybe I’m incapable of love.

 

Do I like girls? Not really. Do I like boys? I feel like I’m supposed to say yes, but no.

 

Am I supposed to crave sex? That sounds dumb and unproductive.

 

Am I supposed to feel upset after a breakup? *shrug*

 

Single and not searching.

 

Broken and damaged. Maybe I should go to therapy.

 

Oh. My. Expletives. Asexuality is a thing and I am it.

 

This is me

[EnterCreativeName]

I never had any thoughts about sexuality or anything romantic until I heard the term asexuality... Up until I heard the term, if someone would ask me about my crush, I'd either try to avoid the question, or I'd pin it on some friend that didn't go to our school. I never thought about why I did that though. When I heard about asexuality though, I didn't look into it right away. I didn't pay much attention to it, though it did bring up a couple questions. As I thought through it, I wondered if I was gay, since I didn't like any boys. Then I thought I might be bi, since I didn't feel like I liked girls any more than I did guys. But then I finally googled asexuality for the first time, and within probably 10 minutes I had fully accepted the term. Of course, then the next day I discovered aromantic, and that fit too.

[TeddyMiller]

There was 'fictosexual', sexually attracted only to the fictional.  And 'platosexual', interested only in platonic relationships.  I looked at 'volcel' and 'incel' (voluntary and involuntary celibate), but neither seemed right; it wasn't that I had sexual desires and either chose not to or was unable to exercise them.  And I called myself a mutant or an alien sometimes, and even tried to imagine what my alien species was like.