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What did you call yourself before discovering Asexuality?


Norellia

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7 hours ago, will123 said:

I guess any of us could have sex if we wanted to just to say we had intercourse. It's the lack of desire in wanting it at any given moment is what separates us from sexuals. I'll have to ask my sexual friend about this concerning his single years...

 

For most of us it is so far down the list of things to do, that going to a tractor pull would rate higher. That's an inside sports reference. At some point years ago some organization did a survey about sports interest in the US. Tractor pulls rated higher (by a large margin) over NHL hockey. Most Canadians laughed about it as we knew it was pointless to promote hockey in areas where hockey was unknown.

I couldn't have sex even just to say that I did.  My brain wouldn't allow it.  I'm a sex-repulsed ace.  For real, I might legitimately have a mental breakdown.

 

I'd rather walk a mile, barefoot, on a road of Legos than do the doo-wop with anyone.

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7 hours ago, will123 said:

It's the lack of desire in wanting it at any given moment is what separates us from sexuals.

Yes, I would say this is true for a lot of aces, but I can also see the point of view given by @AceOfHearts_85, which is some aren't just attracted to sex, but the action is even repulsive to the extent in comparison to picking their nose in public (or insert disgusting topic here). As always, I will note I am no expert. For me as an example, I would not say I am necessarily repulsed by sex, I just don't like it or even want it.

 

 

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7 hours ago, will123 said:

Most Canadians laughed about it as we knew it was pointless to promote hockey in areas where hockey was unknown.

I will say I have never heard of Tractor pulls until searching it via DuckDuckGo, but I have to say, I am out of touch on this subject! ;) (I'll just stick to my Tennis and FIFA Soccer!!) :lol:

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Maya the Composer

I called myself "straight-by-default" because people made the assumption that I was straight despite me giving absolutely no indication of my sexuality. 😅

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Toothpaste Fairy

I assumed I was straight because that was the default and I thought everyone felt the same way as I did about relationships and sex. (Plot twist, I was wrong)

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If people asked I said " probably straight". People still insist Im gay on way I dress and act though. 

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5 minutes ago, Sherlocks said:

If people asked I said " probably straight". People still insist Im gay on way I dress and act though. 

People think I'm either a trans guy or a butch lesbian.  I'm neither of those.  LOL

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1 minute ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

People think I'm either a trans guy or a butch lesbian.  I'm neither of those.  LOL

I get that struggle. 

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On 11/25/2018 at 12:53 AM, Maya the Composer said:

I called myself "straight-by-default" because people made the assumption that I was straight despite me giving absolutely no indication of my sexuality. 😅

This has come across my plate a few times as well.

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On 11/25/2018 at 1:28 AM, Toothpaste Fairy said:

I assumed I was straight because that was the default and I thought everyone felt the same way as I did about relationships and sex. (Plot twist, I was wrong)

Definitely have heard this a lot; this is a common feeling among asexuals, therefore definitely not alone either! :) 

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AllTimeBubble
On 11/25/2018 at 5:53 AM, Maya the Composer said:

I called myself "straight-by-default" because people made the assumption that I was straight despite me giving absolutely no indication of my sexuality. 😅

Same here, although as I got older I was like "well I don't like men so maybe I'm gay by default" but then I turned out to not like women either 👍

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9 hours ago, AllTimeBubble said:

Same here, although as I got older I was like "well I don't like men so maybe I'm gay by default" but then I turned out to not like women either 👍

I was friendly with girls but had no interest in relationships or sex (what is that?) I knew I wasn't gay as I had no thoughts of sex with a male. 

 

I think I'm straight but I don't do anything in that way...

 

Eventually I found out about asexuality!

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schroedingersdog

I assumed I was straight because I am very romantic and had “crushes” on guys (though as I explain below I’m not sure whether they’re “actual” crushes); but I always called myself a prude cos while I was intentionally refraining from sex for religious reasons, the thought of it also seriously grossed me out. I discovered the aspec identities when I was researching lgbt+ stuff (I had a lot of lgbt friends in college and wanted to know more about their lives) and after percolating in my brain for a while, finally the pieces clicked together and I settled on demisexual. Now I’m wondering if I’m also biromantic because I’ve felt some things about some girls that feel really similar to the things I feel for boys... it’s just hard for me to tell the difference between non-sexual types of attraction so I’m not sure if they’re crushes or not lol. 

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My family (that don't know I'm ace) probably see me as straight, because that's the default. But if I'm out with friends, I get asked if I'm gay. I'm always dressed in jeans and a quarter zip (usually from the men's section). I just reply that I'm not into men or women. People never ask anymore questions after that.

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2 minutes ago, kmarra said:

My family (that don't know I'm ace) probably see me as straight, because that's the default. But if I'm out with friends, I get asked if I'm gay. I'm always dressed in jeans and a quarter zip (usually from the men's section). I just reply that I'm not into men or women. People never ask anymore questions after that.

People just assume that I'm a trans guy or a butch lesbian based on my appearance.  It's very annoying.  I'm actually nonbinary, not a man or a woman.

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Relative to sexuality, I'm not really sure I called myself anything. I knew that I was interested in girls (or at least in looking at them), but I never really felt a burning desire for sex or romance.

 

I did, however, also know that I was a social dullard, and maybe not feeling those "burning desires" was part of it.

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On 11/25/2018 at 4:53 PM, Maya the Composer said:

I called myself "straight-by-default" because people made the assumption that I was straight despite me giving absolutely no indication of my sexuality. 😅

100% this. 

 

I think even now I’d still identify as straight, I haven’t told a soul in my real life about my Asexuality. Mind you I just discovered the label in the last couple of weeks and am still coming to terms with it myself, even though technically I’ve known for years that I wasn’t a sexual being. 

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4 hours ago, phoebebuffay said:

100% this. 

 

I think even now I’d still identify as straight, I haven’t told a soul in my real life about my Asexuality. Mind you I just discovered the label in the last couple of weeks and am still coming to terms with it myself, even though technically I’ve known for years that I wasn’t a sexual being. 

Congratulations on deciding! :) For sure, these things can be tricky, so it is great you reached a decision! :) 

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