Jump to content
Marty1962

Asexual hermits

Recommended Posts

Thea2
4 hours ago, karo32 said:

 

Billedresultat for tarot cards the hermit

Beautiful card. :cake:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Thea2
22 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

... 'Wasted' would be forcing myself to conform to societal social standards despite my preference for total physical solitude,

 

... any innately solitary souI who is true to their hermit selves (despite what others might think of their isolation) is not a 'wasted' person!! They're a very fortunate person in my books :)

 

... isolation is a gift if it's something one truly desires!! :P :cake:

Exactly :)

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
daveb
2 hours ago, faraday☘ said:

Even when I do go out or visit people, I'm always thinking about getting back home.  I really don't like being out and about in the evening, that's when I need my alone time the most.  I enjoy traveling though, and like being social while doing that.  

All of this, too. :D 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Muledeer

Description[edit]

In Christianity, the term was originally applied to a Christian who lives the eremitic life out of a religious conviction, namely the Desert Theology of the Old Testament (i.e., the 40 years wandering in the desert that was meant to bring about a change of heart).[citation needed]

In the Christian tradition the eremitic life[4] is an early form of monastic living that preceded the monastic life in the cenobium. The Rule of St Benedict (ch. 1) lists hermits among four kinds of monks. In the Roman Catholic Church, in addition to hermits who are members of religious institutes, the Canon law (canon 603) recognizes also diocesan hermits under the direction of their bishop as members of the consecrated life. The same is true in many parts of the Anglican Communion, including the Episcopal Church in the US, although in the canon law of the Episcopal Church they are referred to as "solitaries" rather than "hermits".

Often, both in religious and secular literature, the term "hermit" is also used loosely for any Christian living a secluded prayer-focused life, and sometimes interchangeably with anchorite/anchoress, recluse and "solitary". Other religions, for example, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam (Sufism), and Taoism, also have hermits in the sense of individuals living an ascetic form of life.

In modern colloquial usage, "hermit" denotes anyone living apart from the rest of society, or simply participating in fewer social events, for any reason.

 

 

I had to wiki-up the definition of this word because I have always thought of a hermit in a negative, shameful or abnormal manner.  I guess I was wrong.

I fit the colloquial definition of a hermit  by "simply participating in fewer social events, for any reason." 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
imnotafreakofnature!

I've spent my entire life feeling like I just really don't belong on this planet, and friends are something I just don't have - or miss. Back when I was a church girl, they always said, "We're a big family, we're all one in the spirit and we love each other" - but when you stopped going to that church, you didn't exist anymore, and you lost any "friends" you had because you really never had anything in common except the church you attended. I've tried having friends at other times in my life, too, but they only wanted to be "friends" as long as I had something they needed, and it usually ended up being a one-way street. It only ended when I got tired of being used. Consequently, anyone who now expresses an interest in being friends with me is automatically suspect. (There's actually someone who currently fits that bill!) I do have a handful of people in my life - my husband (yes, I'm a married ace because I never knew asexuality was even a thing until two years ago), his mother (whom I absolutely adore) and my sister. So yes, I'd have to say I'm definitely a hermit!

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
froglady

I'm trying to remember if I actually spoke to another person today. No. Yesterday? Well, yesterday I wanted to find someone to give some black licorice to because I had some that was way too sweet for my taste. I walked down Main Street and spoke to several black licorice haters before I found someone who likes their black licorice sweet and was happy to take all 2 pounds of it. It was great fun. I often go for days with no human contact but I don't think that I'm a hermit. I'm lacking a common frame of reference with most everyone so the social stuff kind of  tends to fizzle away in a hurry. 

 

 

 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CBC

I'm not ace but I'm pretty much a hermit. I live with someone and see my parents a few times a year but that's mostly it. I'm extremely introverted by nature and mostly enjoy my solitude, but I've also struggled with chronic mental and physical health issues for many years now and they impact my ability to socialise as well. I'm a little more isolated than I'd like to be.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Biblioromantic

I have a question. For those of us on this thread, what do you do for a living? Is it something online?

 

I've been unemployed for a few months, but I know I'll eventually have to find another job even though I've been quite happy being mostly a hermit. Just looking for some ideas of what to look into.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
froglady

I used to tend a small historical museum. Now I clean a few businesses at night when no one is there.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ryn2

I work in the IT project management office of a large, local healthcare system.  It’s a really people-y job, although I can do some of it over IM and email, so I’m happy to see no one on my downtime.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AndrewT
2 hours ago, Biblioromantic said:

I have a question. For those of us on this thread, what do you do for a living? Is it something online?

 

I've been unemployed for a few months, but I know I'll eventually have to find another job even though I've been quite happy being mostly a hermit. Just looking for some ideas of what to look into.

I quit work and went to university (good chance I'll be dead b4 the loans are paid back)

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Palovana

Yes. I have very little in common with anyone, and nothing really in common with my generation. The older I get, the more I just want to be left alone. Even when I want to interact with someone, it can only be for a short duration of time, before I become tired and uninterested. I find most people to be very flat and one-dimensional, clones of each other. Most people are exactly the same in their interests and motivations. It's something I can't relate to at all. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Palovana
On 4/12/2018 at 3:32 PM, karo32 said:

 

Billedresultat for tarot cards the hermit

The Hermit stands alone on the top of a mountain with a lantern in his hand. Mountains typically symbolise achievement, growth, and accomplishment. The Hermit has attained his spiritual pinnacle and is ready to share his knowledge with others. He is also continuing the path he has chosen, committed to his goal of ultimate awareness. 

Meditating on the Hermit Tarot card teaches you to honour the wisdom within yourself. You must find your own light, shine it on your soul and create your own special path. Through meditation and visualisation, the Hermit allows you to get in touch with the wise person inherent within you

 

 

I love this. Thank you for sharing.

 

On 4/13/2018 at 7:16 PM, imnotafreakofnature! said:

I've tried having friends at other times in my life, too, but they only wanted to be "friends" as long as I had something they needed, and it usually ended up being a one-way street. It only ended when I got tired of being used. Consequently, anyone who now expresses an interest in being friends with me is automatically suspect. 

This is exactly how I feel, for the same reasons. I allowed people to do it to me for far too long, until I finally had the balls to say enough is enough. In many ways my life is better now because of it.

 

6 hours ago, Biblioromantic said:

I have a question. For those of us on this thread, what do you do for a living? Is it something online?

I work in the ticket office at a university for their athletics program. It's very customer service oriented (sales). I hate how much I have to interact with people, especially strangers, who are often verbally abusive when I won't let them break compliance rules (adding their own name to the guest list because their player forgot). I have PTSD and that shit makes me so anxious like I feel like I need to duck and cover before someone physically assaults me. I like working in sports, just wish I could get out of customer service positions. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
EarthMama
On 4/14/2018 at 3:12 PM, Biblioromantic said:

I have a question. For those of us on this thread, what do you do for a living? Is it something online?

 

I've been unemployed for a few months, but I know I'll eventually have to find another job even though I've been quite happy being mostly a hermit. Just looking for some ideas of what to look into.

The job that pays the bills is in accounting.  Granted, I do a lot of B2B collections, so I have more people contact than I'd like at times, but I do have days where I'm sucked into the spreadsheets and don't come up for air at all.

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Raire

Self employed - selling stuff online and being a landlord. Yay for pigeon-holed hermititude! 

 

However I'm looking for more gainful employment so will have to re-enter the wide world and talk to people *shudders* 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RottenInDenmark
On 14/4/2018 at 10:12 PM, Biblioromantic said:

I have a question. For those of us on this thread, what do you do for a living? Is it something online?

i also been unemployed for a while. But i'm from Denmark. where we are being paid by our government if we partake in a university classes. for a higher education. 

 

now i'm just doing summer jobs working as a waiter at harbor restaurant. and being the night-swift at summer school.   

 

i do also have for 3 years been part of a small paid, free time job as  assistant director at amateur theater for kids. :) 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa

I must admit that I run out of steam after a little while and can only be sociable till my energy runs out but like @faraday☘, @daveb and doubtless many others, I enjoy travelling , meeting others casually and seeing new things. For work, I work in an office , which is not my natural habitat, plus, a substantial amount of my job entails talking on the phone. Oddly enough I can put on enough of my comedy act to get by superficially with clients, but I find it a relief to get home and get peace and quiet. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
imnotafreakofnature!
On ‎4‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 10:34 PM, Palovana said:

This is exactly how I feel, for the same reasons. I allowed people to do it to me for far too long, until I finally had the balls to say enough is enough. In many ways my life is better now because of it.

 

Yeah, I finally decided I was DONE making excuses for people shitting on me!

 

On ‎4‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 4:12 PM, Biblioromantic said:

I have a question. For those of us on this thread, what do you do for a living? Is it something online?

 

School bus driver, here, but my company does more than just school runs. We often get chartered by various organizations, from colleges to day camps, sports camps and even wedding venues. Summers are usually busier than the school year.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
seneca

On disability, but I do some volunteering at a museum. I love it, but when I get home, I'm so drained. People are exhausting. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
E

It's likely once I build a house on recently acquired property that I'll disappear entirely from almost every from of contact save for paying land bills once a year. I've lived in absolute solitude before, several times. The longest stretch I went without seeing another person was a year.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa

In the Buddhist world , solitude is a replenishing, enlightening force, not seen as something odd at all, so I hope you enjoy your new property when it's built @E is for E.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sam_Tiago
On 4/10/2018 at 2:50 PM, Marty1962 said:

Does anyone else not only have a problem relating to others sexually but relating to other people altogether!

I do have friends, I'm not a complete hermit but I find most people tiring after a while yet I can spend hours/days with animals and nature.

I'm wondering if the asexual gene can also make us feel apart or different to others.....or is it just me? :lol:

I absolutely relate to that. Sometimes I even think that I've got some sort of disorder or something cause after some time I get tired of people around me, even family or close ones. Well, now I think that there are many variables that contribute to that feeling, like stress, having to bear all types of people along the day, and so on. You're not alone

xo

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
here_on_the_morrow
On 4/10/2018 at 10:50 AM, Marty1962 said:

Does anyone else not only have a problem relating to others sexually but relating to other people altogether!

I do have friends, I'm not a complete hermit but I find most people tiring after a while yet I can spend hours/days with animals and nature.

I'm wondering if the asexual gene can also make us feel apart or different to others.....or is it just me? :lol:

I don't think it's an ace thing but i agree with you completely. I'd rather sit in my yard under a tree with my dogs than go hang out with people any day. People are totally tiring. Interacting with people is tiring. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LilyG

I was an extrovert when I was little...all the way up til about 10 years ago...I hit a major bout of depression and kind of disappeared from society.  But before that I still never minded being alone, I just had a very active social life.  Once I disappeared though - the more I stayed out of society, the less I wanted to rejoin it.  I can go for weeks without going anywhere or talking to anyone.  It doesn't bother me at all.  My family really worries about me and keeps trying to get me to go out places.  This year I have made it a point to try to get out with family or friends once or twice a week.  But if it's a busy restaurant or busy store - after about 30 minutes I've had enough & wanna go home and 're-charge'.  

 

I used to work in my company's office for about 8 years & then they let me go full-time teleworking.  So, I only have to go into the office maybe once a month for a meeting - most of them are skype though.  Other than meetings...no people, no phones, no talking - just me, my cats, music & my work on the computer.  :) 

 

And, for me, being ace has nothing to do with being a hermit.  One isn't related to the other for me.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AtlanteanStar

I can relate at times. I aspire to be a hermit though I have a young child.You don't know how often I contemplate solitude and living off the grid. Some people fantasize about winning PowerBar. But I want to do my own thing. Some people zap my energy and interfere with things I am doing.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Losti

I've never really fit in and I never had a friend. I feel like I missed out on a lot of things for feeling so out of place all my life. Sometimes I think having a friend would be nice but it seems like a lot of work but I made a couple online friends so far which is pretty good. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
law-ace

Totally me. I work from home so can go months without seeing other people in person.

 

I do get a bit lonely sometimes, which is one reason I'm showing up here. 😉

 

The exception is when I meet people I just 'click' with - then I can chat for hours in person. Sometimes I can do groups but it's very tiring, because I never quite relax in the same way - I'm always 'on', pushing myself to be more present. People often don't realize I consider myself introverted because I learned how to 'present' as social as a young teen and it's just automatic now.

 

Otherwise you get the 'why are you so quiet' conversation which is just awkward.

 

This song is totally hermit-me

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yatagarasu

A friend of mine once called me an "asexual hermit".
It's pretty accurate, I think.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ousel

I'd say Asocial instead of anti-social (which implies that you are a sociopath or psychopath btw). 

I'm pretty sure it's the depression, but I have a hard time picturing new relationships going well. Luckily I like my own company...most of the time. I struggle with the inner critic, or whatever you want to call it. 

It seems to me that I feel drained being around other people because I don't feel like I can be authentic and be accepted. 

I'd like to meet other asocial hermits and co-work. =] That would be ideal. 

Right now the only people I talk to in person are my therapist, and my cranky much-younger-than-me lab partners in Bio class. (Yup, taking my first Bio class in my 30's, it's never too late ya'all.)

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Blackthorn

I prefer my own company.  I love to go walking alone out into the local countryside.  I work in an office and get more than enough human interaction there.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...