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Marty1962

Asexual hermits

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Marty1962

Does anyone else not only have a problem relating to others sexually but relating to other people altogether!

I do have friends, I'm not a complete hermit but I find most people tiring after a while yet I can spend hours/days with animals and nature.

I'm wondering if the asexual gene can also make us feel apart or different to others.....or is it just me? :lol:

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Thea2

I have felt an alien all my life, and I consider myself a hermit.

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Sage Raven Domino

Count me in :lol:

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daveb

I can relate, but I attribute it to me being an introvert. :) 

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Masterman

I have difficulty connecting, but I don't enjoy this. I do crave connection and friendships, and I don't think of myself as a hermit. I'm just rather useless at making them and, mostly, keeping them.

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RottenInDenmark

Sometimes socially yes, it can be difficult and feel alienated.  but not always, when i know i can meet people 'i do' connect with. :)

i call myself an Outgoing introvert. I love spending time with people, friends and those i love, but i have my limit, and need my space and me-time to recharge my batteries. 

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AndrewT
48 minutes ago, Marty1962 said:

Does anyone else not only have a problem relating to others sexually but relating to other people altogether!

I do have friends, I'm not a complete hermit but I find most people tiring after a while yet I can spend hours/days with animals and nature.

I'm wondering if the asexual gene can also make us feel apart or different to others.....or is it just me? :lol:

I don't have friends, those that I think of as friends I'm assuming get tired of me as they disappear

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Raire

I think I'm anti-social, with little-to-no urge to mingle with other people. 

Even when I was studying and at work, there would be people I was friendly with, but I had no need or desire to speak to them or be with them outside of that area. 

 

Honestly I do hate myself for how I feel (or don't feel) as I get lonely... but the alternative doesn't seem any better. 

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Marty1962

Very interesting response and I'm really surprised. i often wonder why people go mad in solitary - I'd love it :D

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sparklingstars
5 hours ago, Masterman said:

I have difficulty connecting, but I don't enjoy this. I do crave connection and friendships, and I don't think of myself as a hermit. I'm just rather useless at making them and, mostly, keeping them.

Same here.  I've gotten better over time, but now everyone is married and having kids and I'm back to spending more time alone then I'd like to.  (I'm an introvert with depression and social anxiety, which I realize plays a major part in my social interactions).  

 

But there are a few people that I have connected with, and I treasure those relationships.

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Mocha Jo

I tend to have acquaintances rather than actual friends, and I am good with that.

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teatree

Nope, I love meeting people--I find most inherently interesting! Mind you, I do like being alone at times and seldom feel lonely, but I also love having good friends, the kind that you could call in the middle of the night if you needed to. Having to deal recently with a broken wrist made me realize and appreciate all those friends who stepped in to help, without any request from me. I feel very fortunate!

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Tapioca

I do enjoy meeting new people but I think it's more to satisfy my curiosity rather than social contact. I usually can't stand small talk but I find interesting to hear about how other people see the same things I do and how their life experiences may have led to that. I have no problem talking to a few people however large groups and social gatherings tire me out quickly. I enjoy 'people-watching' and I think just from that I get enough social interaction. My ideal lifestyle would probably entail to being a city hermit -- not having to leave my home for work or other aspects of my life but free to do so whenever I decide to -- broken up with occasional week long camping trips . 

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EarthMama

I consider myself anti-social.  I've maintained for a long time that I'd do well being a hermit in a cave, as long as it had HVAC and WiFi.

 

Well, I'd need to be connected to the postal exchange service, too, because I'd need crafting supplies.

 

The reality of the situation is I work in a job which requires a lot of phone or email contact, then live in a home with 3 other adults.  I couldn't tell you the last time I actually felt 'lonely.'  I can tell you I'm in an almost constant state of 'shut the F*ck up and leave me alone!'

 

This is why I've learned to love long walks, with earphones on and iPod blasting.

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RottenInDenmark

 

Billedresultat for tarot cards the hermit

The Hermit stands alone on the top of a mountain with a lantern in his hand. Mountains typically symbolise achievement, growth, and accomplishment. The Hermit has attained his spiritual pinnacle and is ready to share his knowledge with others. He is also continuing the path he has chosen, committed to his goal of ultimate awareness. 

Meditating on the Hermit Tarot card teaches you to honour the wisdom within yourself. You must find your own light, shine it on your soul and create your own special path. Through meditation and visualisation, the Hermit allows you to get in touch with the wise person inherent within you

 

 

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daveb

Can I be a hermit without standing on top of a mountain? I have a fear of heights. :P:lol: 

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RottenInDenmark
10 minutes ago, daveb said:

Can I be a hermit without standing on top of a mountain? I have a fear of heights. :P:lol: 

'it's a metaphor' XD

 

 

Relateret billede

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daveb
2 minutes ago, karo32 said:

'it's a metaphor' XD

 

 

Relateret billede

I'm familiar with the concept. :D 

 

Oh, I see that's from a movie. Never mind.

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InariYana

Sometimes I'm in a people-seeking phase when I go out and see friends or even meet new people, but those kind of interactions exhaust me quickly and then I retreat into solitude and truly love those moments, when no one is around. At some point though I start feeling like it's a bit quiet and I crave a bit of conversation and closeness... and that's how it goes. I need people in small doses :lol:   

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AbyssGaze

I do like having friends and spending time with them, sadly I'm bad at keeping them and worse at meeting and connecting with new people.

At times ends up with me more o less isolated, which I don't mind that much, until I get lonely and miss having people to talk and share interests with.

Sometimes I wish I were more extrovert or had better social skills, but I am what I am and I don't think I could change it. x))

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ryn2
On 4/10/2018 at 2:01 PM, daveb said:

I can relate, but I attribute it to me being an introvert. :) 

Same!  So far there do seem to be a disproportionate number of introverted aces, but maybe that’s just because we’re meeting here on the introvert-friendly Internet.

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faraday☘

I'm a hermit too.  I order most everything I need online.  For a while, I was even having my groceries delivered (I'm not doing that anymore).  Even when I do go out or visit people, I'm always thinking about getting back home.  I really don't like being out and about in the evening, that's when I need my alone time the most.  I enjoy traveling though, and like being social while doing that.  

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Skycaptain

Is like to be a hermit (excluding AVEN meetups) but I'm worried that I'd feel permanently crabby :P:P

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Biblioromantic

Last year I had some medical issues and ended up going on long-term disability. Suddenly I didn't have the outlet of seeing my work friends, and I was spending virtually all day in bed. Maybe twice a week I'd invent a reason to need to go to the store, or I'd take myself to lunch just to get out of the house. I wouldn't necessarily say a word to anyone during these excursions, but it felt nice to get outside the four walls for an hour or two and see people.

 

But when I did have a very social job and a bigger group of friends, I'd also need time away. I spent a lot of spring, summer, and fall weekends camping with just my Kindle, my dog,  a lawn chair, and a tent. During the winter a few times, I'd find a cheap deal for a nicer hotel or motel within a couple hours driving distance and spend a long weekend there. It was awesome to not have to interact with people for a few days. I especially liked putting my electronics on airplane mode so I could really enjoy the peacefulness.

 

Sometimes people would ask me if I felt safe traveling by myself. I always said yes. I had my phone, and I was always near other groups of people, never out in the wilderness alone.

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
1 hour ago, faraday☘ said:

I'm a hermit too.  I order most everything I need online.  For a while, I was even having my groceries delivered (I'm not doing that anymore).

I get my groceries deIivered onIine weekIy, it's the best way to do it!! :P

 

I have no friends (by choice), peopIe are too much troubIe - and a fun Friday night to me consists of drawing or gaming or sIeeping, aIone, at home, haha. I guess I wouId fit the definition of hermit :3

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James121
2 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

I get my groceries deIivered onIine weekIy, it's the best way to do it!! :P

 

I have no friends (by choice), peopIe are too much troubIe - and a fun Friday night to me consists of drawing or gaming or sIeeping, aIone, at home, haha. I guess I wouId fit the definition of hermit :3

You are one wasted girl ficto 🤦‍♂️

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James121
Just now, James121 said:

You are one wasted girl ficto 🤦‍♂️

And I meant that as a compliment 

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
10 minutes ago, James121 said:

You are one wasted girl ficto 🤦‍♂️

'Wasted' would be forcing myself to conform to societal social standards despite my preference for total physical solitude, because of how unhappy that would make me. I'm am happiest in utter physical solitude and any innately solitary souI who is true to their hermit selves (despite what others might think of their isolation) is not a 'wasted' person!! They're a very fortunate person in my books :)

 

I do understand you were making a compliment, but it made it sound Iike isolation is a negative thing - isolation is a gift if it's something one truly desires!! :P :cake:

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Semisweet

I need and enjoy a balance of solitary time and interacting with friends/participating in social pursuits; that probably defines me as an "ambivert." I seem to be in a good place in my life now when it comes to that balance.

 

Also, I feel much more comfortable than I did when I was younger about going alone to interesting events (lectures, author talks, exhibit tours and the like) where some socializing will likely happen but it's not the primary focus. 

 

 

 

 

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