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Asexuality in schools (or the lack of mentioning)


th-emptyhearse

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SnickersGetSomeNoots

When I had my sexual education I wasn't aware about asexuality at the time or the fact that I myself am asexual. I was 13 and whilst my peers talked about sex all the time i never got involved because i just assumed it was something people talked about to seem "cool". I didn't realise that they actually felt that way because i just didnt. When we got into the classroom for the sex ed everyone around me appeared to be enjoying it and laughing but i just felt sick and confused. The school nurses were so heteronormative saying "You're all at the age now where you want sex and in the future you will have sex. Don't feel embarrassed we're all the same" but i remember feeling embarrassed because i didn't feel the same. I felt so misunderstood and disgusted by their lack of regard for people who didn't fit the societal "norm" and frankly rather disturbed (by some VERY graphic photos that i did NOT want to see..) that i when i left i just cried in the toilet feeling broken. Looking back i also realise they mentioned very little on LGBTQ+ at all. I believe that in a diverse society like today sexual education needs to be taught in a diverse way. Not everyone "is the same" and i know now that thats ok :)🍰🍰🍰

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I went to school through the 70’s and into the early 80’s, never once was there as much as a sex education class, you were heterosexual or you got your head kicked in, it was that simple, you knew how babies were made, you knew society expected you to be married with 2.2 kids, a mortgage around your neck in your 20’s or you were gay, that’s how it was back then, I never heard of anyone else not wanting to indulge in sexual intercourse, I was that far behind, I never heard of the term asexual (in humans anyway) until my early 40’s, that was only when I got my first computer, all self taught, I lingered and looked for over a year before joining the site, still thinking of acceptance as it would have been when I was younger.

 

 I m glad to see that not just asexuality, but also other forms of sexuality are becoming more widely accepted within society.

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  • 2 months later...
Katarina Gertje

We watched a video in my wellness class that explained a few identities, and asexual was one of them. However, the speaker's definition wasn't too great, and they kind of blended the definition of asexual and aromantic. But at least it was mentioned, I guess. I wasn't even sure if I was going to get that.

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abandoned-account

I went to a religious school and OH MAN am I glad that that the sex ed course was an optional one (any talk at all about sexual activity and reproduction induces nausea for me). There wasn't even was one before my classmates bugged the teachers to start one (c'mon, seriously. I know their only real reason was just so they could go "hurhur the teacher said paainus" ... <_< )

 

Of course the few times where I have outed myself as ace to people there either they be students or teachers (and now I feel dumb that I did bc it wasn't even that relevant) they didn't know what I was talking about. Guess that's what you'd expect though.

 

On 2/5/2019 at 12:56 AM, oldgeeza said:

2.2 kids

What is 0.2 of a kid? Do I even want to know?

also @ what you said, very sad but true (from what I know anyways as but a young'un). Even as insecure as I've been about my youth at times I'm very glad to be here in a time where places like AVEN exists and we have the technology to help us find others like ourselves.

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GentlemanCambrioleur

We actually had a bit of puberty education in the last year of elementary school but it was gender segregated because my area is just full of cis people who don't understand much about trans people. Menstruation, particularly the necessity of tampons and pads were covered. 

Our sex ed in middle school wasn't just abstinence only and mentioned several contraceptives but it was very heteronormative. the sex ed was centered on cishet standards and only made a passing mention of homosexual and bisexual and transgender alongside a video that was a depiction of violent homophobia. 

 

No nonbinary. No asexual. No pansexual. No aromantic. . No mention of split model attraction. And certainly no acknowledgement of the more subtle forms of homophobia. (ex. "I don't agree with the gay lifestyle/The gays are ok but it's against my religion/blahblah etc" 

 

Props to the curriculum for having serious conversation on abuse though. Pity that the curriculum was so outdated and straight though.  

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  • 1 month later...
Anony-moose

Never heard of the possibility of not experiencing sexual attraction, or not desiring sexual and romantic (which I've only heard as synonymous words) relationships. The first time I heard about asexuality at school was when a friend came out as asexual in 2014/2015 idk in Dubai. Before then I had seen the term mentioned on tumblr in 2013.

 

At my schools we never had sex ed, and the closest thing was learning about the reproductive systems in Biology, as well as nurses coming to school to talk about sex, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, but sexual orientation was never brought up (thanks heteronormativity).

 

I'm from Portugal and asexuality, aromanticism and agender (all a-spec stuff) is absolutely unheard of, I even looked at the most popular LGBT+ forums in Portugal and the last mention of the word was in 2017, the first in 2005, and the search results for the word "asexual" and "asexuality" are only 3 pages long. Aromanticism was never mentioned in the forums.

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  • 1 year later...

I remember 8th grade sex ed. They told us about condoms, but didn't give a demonstration and they kept emphasizing that not having sex was the only way to be sure. On an anatomical diagram, they crossed out the clitoris. While they acknowledged that homosexuality exists, they didn't go into detail about safe gay or lesbian sex and said nothing about bisexuality, pansexuality, asexuality, or tell us about gender identity in any detail. I felt so weird feeling like I was the only girl who wasn't all boy-crazy, because I didn't know any lesbians and I had never heard of asexuality.

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I wouldn't have known about the thread if @Jane012 hadn't posted recently. I blog, and a recent blog focused on the phobic reaction to a new inclusive Relationships and Sex Education curriculum that should have been introduced in English schools this month, but has been postponed because of Covid. (Schools can introduce it if they want.)  The secondary school sections (that is, people from 11 up) contain input on many aspects of sex education -  safe sex, miscarriages, abortion, bullying and saying no, STDs,... and the relationships sections at both primary and secondary level (primary - under 11) have a big focus on respect and inclusivity, with orientation being discussed in the secondary sector. As far as I can tell, asexuality is not specifically discussed. I would expect that it would arise as part of the general LGBTQ+ discussion.  

The caveat is that when this curriculum was introduced early in some schools, the phobic reaction was horrendous. That reaction and the content of the new curriculum are the topics of the blog. It's at https://polyallsorts.wordpress.com/2020/08/21/rse-teaching-and-lgbtq-phobia/ if any one is interested.

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